Unrequited Friendship
by Ski000Girl
Summary: "I'm pregnant" I'd never get to tell him that. He hurt me to badly for him to deserve the right of knowledge. Instead I flee the country and my pregnancy turns deadly and my child and I are forced to fight for our lives against a force we cannot control
1. Truth

Strolling out of work was something she never managed to accomplish. On the best of days she hurried, all the rest she raced. Today was the one exception to her usually hectic life. She was twenty-eight years old and trying desperately to work her way up through the ranks of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. A place that she had never dreamt of working at much less being days away from being publicly offered the position as Senior Assistant to the Head of the Department. It was quite the honor for a woman, especially one that was only the mere age of twenty-eight. Because of her job she was always pushing herself to be better. Become the first Head of the Department under 40, get the promotion over the other more experienced members of the team and be the best she could be.

The reason she was not rushing out of work that day was because for the first time in she didn't know how long she had taken the afternoon off. It wasn't just any old personal day, it was because she had to get ready for an important dinner date. One she knew that she could not show up to in her business clothes and slapped on makeup. No, this one would be special. Arriving back at her flat didn't take very long. She had decided to walk, something she never did. Normally she apparated because it took only seconds to get from one point to the next. She lived in a muggle apartment complex 3 blocks from the Visitors Entrance to the Ministry. It was a high end building with all the modern amenities. As such it came with a pretty hefty price tag, one that her salary covered easily and then some. Up the front steps she walked, nodding at her neighbors that she rarely saw. They smiled back at her and then kept on their way. No words were exchanged. They wrote off the reason they never saw their young neighbor was because she was always traveling somewhere around the world on business. If only they knew.

She was able to live in a muggle building because she was muggle born. Not many pureblood wizards would want to or have the skills necessary to fool the muggles if they lived alongside them. Hermione welcomed the familiarity with her old life. It made everyday that she walked back into the Wizarding Community seem like her first time. Magical was the only word that could be used to describe it properly.

Walking through the doorway into her spacious flat she sadly noticed the amazing few. It would only be a matter of weeks that she would have left there. Ever since she'd gotten engaged her fiance had pestered her to move in with him. She'd held off, saying her flat was in a better location than his place. That was not true and they both knew it. It was quite evident that she was in love with her flat. He had suggested that they could move into a flat together in Wizarding London but she turned that one down as well. Eventually he had given up after she promised him that he would not hear one more word about the living arrangements after they were wed. She would move without fuss into his place.

He'd proposed to her eight months before. They'd been out for a midnight walk and he'd knelt down in the snow and pulled out a small box. She'd immediately accepted his proposal and they'd hurried back to his place and made passionate love until dawn.

While to everyone else their whirlwind romance looked like a fairy tale it was anything but. They'd been in the public eye a lot because of his name and her part in the war. Magazines had dubbed them the Modern Day Romeo and Juliet. (After all Shakespeare was a wizard, no muggle would have been able to do what he did.) Maybe one of the reasons she had refused to give up her safe haven had been the fact that while he had accepted who she was, his parents had not. She wasn't prepared to go and live with them while she was still not safely married. That had been a sour point in their relationship. She'd tried and tried to get him to talk some sense into his parents but he would never admit their was a problem.

Another rough patch had come a couple months into their engagement. He had become more distant from her. They saw very little of each other at the best of times because of their demanding schedules but they had previously been able to squeeze in at least one night to go out together. That had suddenly changed with no explanation. All of a sudden they would go weeks without meeting face to face. The only contact they would have would be in rushed letters. She'd become so frustrated that she cornered him, vented her rage by screaming at him and then temporarily called off the wedding. That had ended a month and a half before. She had come home late from work to find him sitting on her sofa with her ring that she had so kindly thrown at him as she stormed out the door screaming at him that she never wanted to see him again. He'd presented her with a seemingly sincere apology which she had not taken to kindly to. She knew what he was capable of. What happened after that she didn't really remember. She woke up hours later on the floor halfway between her living room and bedroom with an empty wine bottle beside her and her newly reinstated fiance propped up naked beside her.

A few weeks after that incident she had noticed that something wasn't right. A couple more weeks later a healer had confirmed it. That was why she had arranged this date in the first place. To break the news to him.

She didn't know what kept pulling her back to him. Sure he was smart and good looking as well as super rich but that had never attracted her before. She usually chose the honest guy over the spoiled rich kid. He had been the only exception. Still as much as she tried to figure out what drew her to him she never could come up with a good enough answer. The only explanation that she could think of was not a very good one, he was mind boggling in bed.

Their reservation he had told her in a letter the night before was for 8 o'clock at one of the fanciest and most expensive restaurants around. She knew that only the people with the best names were even considered for reservations and dress robes were mandatory. Thank goodness she had no shortage of fancy clothing.

She figured she had enough time to lay down for a short nap before she had to get ready and so she walked into the enormous Master Suit, squirmed out of her constricting suit and crawled into the cozy softness of her King Size Bed. After dimming the lights she fell quickly into a deep slumber.

A couple hours later she woke up, well rested and ready to take on whatever was thrown at her. She would later be glad for her nap because it would be the last uninterrupted sleep she would have for a long time.

The hot shower shook off the last remnants of sleep when she first stepped into the spray. Her make up went on effortlessly but her hair was another story. With her wand in one hand she tried style after style, but none looked right. To business like, to young, to old. Nothing clicked. Finally when she was just about annoyed enough to shave her head bald no matter how horrible it would look, she found the right style and just in time.

Throwing on her clothes she secured her wand into a band that was strapped around her upper thigh, hidden from view by her dress. Her clutch in hand she didn't bother to look in the mirror again, for fear of not liking what looked back. With that she apparated into the night.

The restaurant was on the shores of Southern England. It had once been a beautiful house, but it hadn't been used for that purpose in some time. Arriving at the foot of the path Hermione walked through a wall of perfectly manicured shrubbery that was dancing with small lights. On closer inspection one would see that they were not lights, but fairies. Up the brick path she walked, careful not get her heel caught between one of the uneven stones. The outside of the building was covered in the same lights as the shrubs and the garden surrounding everything was perfectly landscaped. Off behind the place was the roaring sound of the ocean as it met the land. The air was cooler there than it had been in London and laced with a damp chill that tasted like salt. Into the restaurant Hermione stepped and the maitre de greeted her with a quick smile.

"For Malfoy," she told the eager woman.

"Of course, right this way. Your companion hasn't arrived yet."

After pulling out the seat for Hermione she handed her a menu and then promptly disappeared. Their table was in a perfect spot. Right up against the wall of windows that offered a spectacular view of the sand. Far off on the horizon a sliver moon was just starting to appear. It was a beautiful place she had to admit and the view made it that much more amazing.

After sitting for ten minutes she discreetly glanced at her watch and was appalled to see that it was already half past. She knew she had been late, but not that late. She didn't think much more of it but after another five minutes had slowly gone by her mind finally put into words what had been so unkindly up until that point just swimming around. If she had been that late then where was Draco? He was never late, he always said that lateness was to be frowned upon.

A waitress walked over and asked her if she would like to order a drink while she waited and she accepted. The cold liquid did very little to calm her nerves as she continued to wait. Where was he? How could he have missed this? She thought she'd been very clear when she'd told him that it was really important that they get together. Apparently he couldn't give her any common courtesy. Just as the waitress returned to see if she would like to order another woman came running up behind her with a piece of parchment in her clutches.

"Excuse me Miss," she said, "This just arrived for you," she handed over the slightly rumbled parchment and then disappeared.

Hermione read over the few words and then angrily crumbled the note into a tight ball.

"Is everything okay?" the concerned waitress asked.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," she reached into her purse and extracted more than enough money for her drink.

"I'll get your change for you," the waitress said flustered.

"No keep the change. I am truly sorry about this."

The waitress didn't protest and why should she after the tip she had just received.

Trying to keep her pace steady was extremely hard for Hermione as she walked across the crowded dining room. She wanted to run as fast as she could and then once she was far enough away as to not be heard she wanted to scream until her voice went hoarse. How could he do this again? The note had only contained two words, 'Sorry babe,' maddening enough at the best of times but he knew she hated to be call babe. Angrily she ripped her ring off of her finger for what she swore to be the last time and threw it into her bag. She wasn't giving it back to him this time, not so he could turn around and give it to some other poor unsuspecting girl. Her now bare hands came to rest gently on her lower abdomen, the reason why she had arranged the date in the first place. He should know that he was going to be a father but now she was thinking otherwise.

xxx.:.x.

Back at her flat she didn't do what would seem to be the normal thing to do after your fiance stood you up, cry. Instead she changed out of her clothes into a pair of sweats and poured herself a glass of wine, a rather large glass of wine. After downing it in record time she was finally able to get control of her spinning brain. She'd always known it would come to this subconsciously, that was why she wasn't as distraught as she probably should have been. As she began to think of all that had kept him from meeting her, her thoughts couldn't stray from one highly plausible explanation. There was another woman. Now that she looked back on it, it made complete sense. She couldn't believe she hadn't realized it sooner, or maybe it was just her brains way of protecting her. Whatever the answer was she really didn't care. Reaching for the bottle again, she topped up her glass.

Whoever the woman was Hermione almost felt sorry for her. Almost but not quite! She did feel some of the necessary hostility towards the woman that had pulled Draco from her. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe or internal need for understanding but she vowed to find out who the sorry little pimp was.

The city lights shining in her windows casted strange shadows across the furniture but she didn't bother get up to turn the lights on. Instead she got up, kicked her stool back into its place and walked into her bedroom. Her bed didn't seem half as comfortable as it had only a few hours before. None the less she still fell asleep without much difficulty. It was a peaceful sleep what became difficult to accomplish. She tossed and turned but couldn't find a comfortable spot in her usually comfortable bed. She was to hot so she'd kick the covers off and then she would instantly start to shiver so she'd have to untangle the mess of blankets and crawl back under them. If that wasn't enough, even in sleep her brain wouldn't stop spinning, causing her to have dream after dream. By the time her alarm went off in the morning she felt like she'd run a marathon instead of spent the night in bed.

A walking zombie, she had to resist the urge to make herself a mug of coffee. After two near cave ins she reluctantly packaged up the machine and tucked it safely out of her line of sight as to not tempt her. She didn't know how she was going to manage without coffee at the best of times, let alone when she didn't sleep.

When she arrived at her desk she had to quickly drop her briefcase and rush towards the bathroom where she promptly threw up. It was only the wine she drank last night she told herself, there was no way it could be morning sickness. Then she sunk to the ground, how could she have been so stupid? She was in such a state that she'd downed two large glasses of wine without remembering she was pregnant. A continuous pounding on the door brought her back to her senses and she picked herself up and rinsed her mouth out. Unlocking the door she stepped out to see her assistant with her hand in the air, mid knock and a few other members of the Department shooting funny looks at her.

"Are you okay Ms. Granger?" Suki asked her.

"Yes, thanks. I must have eaten something funny last night. I hope this doesn't last very long."

"No of course not," Suki eagerly agreed. Good old gullible Suki; the rest of the floor wasn't taking her excuse so easily.

Making her way back to her office she welcomed the privacy that it would offer. She kicked off her shoes and pulled her legs up underneath her when she sat down in her chair. What had she been thinking? The answer was easy, she hadn't been thinking. She knew now that she couldn't trust herself and committed herself to after work going home and ridding her place of anything that may harm the developing fetus.

Laying her hand down on her abdomen she whispered, "I'm sorry baby, Mommy didn't mean to be so stupid," she would have said more but the door unexpectedly opened and in walked her boss, Hugh Livingston.

"Morning Hermione," he boomed in his notable baritone, "I hear you weren't feeling so hot earlier. Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"

"No I couldn't possibly, I have so much I have to get done."

Hugh looked at her strangely and then pulled up a chair and said, "I'm worried about you. All you do is work and I'm worried you're not taking care of yourself. If you're sick, go home. We can get by one day without you."

"Thanks Hugh," she replied, "I might take you up on that offer one day but for now I'm fine."

With nothing more to say, Hugh rose and exited her office.

Hermione might as well have gone home because she accomplished very little as the day progressed. At a quarter to five she ran out of her office and left work. The earliest she had excluding the day before in years. The lifts were full with everyone going home for the evening and so she had to wait for a second one to come. After fighting her way into the overcrowded lift she waited as it made it's way to the Atrium where she could apparate from. She knew where she was going and what she had to do.

The destination she apparated to was a modern building, or at least the renovations of it made it look modern. In reality the six story building was over a hundred years old and had been build primarily to house Malfoy co. It hadn't swayed from it's original purpose in the century that it had existed. She'd not told anybody about the ending of her engagement, not even Draco. She was planning on seeing how things panned out first and it helped her out to be tagged still as going to marry a Malfoy. The staff was really helpful to her when she asked if Draco was still in his corner office. They'd all said they could go and get him for her but she said she wanted to surprise him, so keep it a secret. She hung around in the shadows until she saw the door to the corner office edge open. Draco, as handsome as ever stepped out and talked to the young girl who was occupying the desk outside the door.

"You bastard," she couldn't help but whispered.

He threw his cloak over his shoulders and walked towards the stairs. With his hand on the knob he turned back to his assistant and called, "You did send that note I asked you to last night?"

"Oh the one to Ms. Granger?"

"That's right."

"Yes, and I rescheduled your reservations for tonight. Have a wonderful evening Mr. Malfoy."

"I will."

"Of course you will," Hermione hissed from behind the potted plant that was doubling as her cover, "And why wasn't I invited to this make up dinner?"

After she was sure Draco wasn't coming back up she stepped out of her hiding spot and walked over to the young woman's desk, "Excuse me."

"Oh Ms. Granger," the assistant said, stumbling over her words, "I'm sorry you just missed..."

"I know, it's just..." she proceeded to explain to the woman how she needed to get into the office because she needed a list of names of Draco's business associates so she could owl them their wedding invitations, "It was so silly of me to forget," she said spinning her story even more.

"I don't know if I can. No offense but I was told to not allow anybody to go into his office, "I'm sure he didn't mean you, but still."

"I understand completely, I wish my assistant was half as good as you are. She doesn't seem to understand that concept."

The compliment worked enough to make the woman hesitate for a split second, giving Hermione a chance to try again, "Damn, that means I'll have to come back tomorrow then. If I don't get those invitations out soon...he doesn't understand what it takes to plan a wedding. Men right?"

"Oh of course."

"I feel bad, he said he was going to bring me the names but he hasn't yet. Poor guy has so much to do, I don't want to ask him again. I guess I'll have to. He'll be mad at himself for forgetting. That's why I came after I knew he'd be gone, I didn't want to upset him."

"Well I guess...what harm would it cause."

"Thank you so much," Hermione gushed as she walked over to the door which she left open. She sat down behind Draco's massive desk and quietly and efficiently began to search through the drawers. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, no letters, reminders or pictures. Everything pointed towards the fact that Hermione had simply overreacted, but she knew it wasn't that simple. He was good, she knew that much she knew.

After she concluded that there was nothing to be found she reluctantly stood up and was about to leave when something caught her attention. It was the equivalence of a muggle rolodex. It had been the excuse Hermione had used to get into the office but had never actually thought to look through. Flipping through the names she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Business people, ministry officials, family friends, her and her friends. If the answer was in the mass of names it was well hidden because everything seemed to fit, unless the woman was somebody she knew and had passed over her name automatically because they were friends. It was possible but not likely and so defeated Hermione stood up and walked out of the office. The one thing she had noticed that was out of the ordinary on Draco's desk was the absence of pictures of her. It was fishy to her that somebody that was going to marry another person wouldn't have any pictures of that said person where they spent the majority of their waking hours.

"Thanks," she said again to the assistant.

"Did you find them?"

"He hadn't made a list up, imagine that, so I had to go through and write down everybody's name."

"Men," she shook her head, "Their brains are like an old sponge, can't absorb anything. No offense to you because I'm sure he's a wonderful guy, it's just...well I probably shouldn't say this. Forget I ever said anything."

"No go ahead," Hermione replied, trying to hide her anticipation.

"Well it's just he's never mentioned you before, well he does but just when it's regarding business. Nothing personal."

"Yeah, that's just how he is. He's like a locked safe, impossible to get anything out of," it was so true, "Well I best be on my way."

"Have a wonderful dinner tonight."

"Ah, thanks," Hermione remembered a split second to late that she the woman thought Draco was taking her out for dinner, "I will," after she had apparated away she concluded that the woman hadn't known of any other woman. If she had she wouldn't have made the mistake of commenting on Draco's date.

The trip had been useless, if not for the fact that Hermione had learned that Draco was going out to dinner. That was the one hint that kept telling her that there indeed was someone else, because she couldn't find any other evidence to support it.

Hermione apparated to the restaurant where Draco had been heading after leaving work. Instead of going up the front path she walked around the side and made her way carefully down to the beach. From the beach she looked up to the long row of windows. It took her a minute but she finally found what she was looking for. His white hair was good for something after all, it glowed, giving away his position easily. Now that she was there she didn't want to look to see who he was sitting with, it would be the final act of giving in. Eventually she had to look, her curiosity had grown to strong. A gasp escaped from her lips when she saw that the seat across from the blond was empty. Seconds later it had filled with a beautiful red head.

Hermione's stomach began a sudden free fall and her knees became shaky. There had to be an explanation, she was just there because Draco was trying to find something out from her...or maybe...? No, the answer was obvious from the way he leaned over and allowed his lips to linger over hers, and the way he held her palm in his. Not being able to take it anymore Hermione disapparated back to London.

She was mad at herself for not realizing it sooner, mad at him for ever thinking he could get away with it and mad at her best friend for the gut wrenching betrayal. On top of all the anger she was heart broken, but not for herself, for Harry. He was unconditionally in love with Ginny. If he knew what she was doing he would be devastated.

Not knowing what to do with herself she began to wander around the streets of muggle London, something she would have never considered doing as a woman if she didn't have her wand. If she hadn't have been pregnant she may have wandered into the any number of pubs that were open but she didn't see what fun that would be if she couldn't drink and she wasn't hungry. Time passed and she realized that even if she wasn't hungry she still needed to eat at least for the baby. Without having a clue what the place was like she walked into the next pub she saw. The place was loud because a football game was playing on the tellies that surrounded the room. The bar was along the left wall and Hermione walked over and pulled out a stool. A man sat down beside her and offered to by her a drink.

"Sorry," she said but when she saw his confused expression she patted her tummy, "the baby isn't so big on me drinking."

"Well good for you," he said as he got up and walked away. Apparently he figured that if she was pregnant she was with a guy already. If you only knew she thought.

The bartender came over to her and she ordered a plate of food.

"No drink?"

She shook her head.

"What are you pregnant?"

"Something like that."

"My girl is too. Nine months, she's absolutely huge," he said before he moved onto the next person.

Her food came not much later and she waved over the bartender and asked for a glass of water which he handed to her. The food tasted like paper, her mouth was so dry but she forced it down anyways. The whole time she hoped her appetite would return soon because she loved food.

After she paid for her meal she walked back out into the cool evening air. She didn't have a clue where she was, she'd been wandering aimlessly without any sense of direction before going into the pub. It took her two spins around for her to come up with her location, she was two blocks south of the Ministry. If she was that close she might as well stop in and grab the few things she had left when she rushed out earlier.

Looking around to make sure nobody was looking and then going into the shadows she apparated into the Atrium. The lifts were empty now, so different from when she left and so she rode to her floor in silence. Finding the items was easy as they were laying in plain view on her desk and then she left. Stepping onto the lift she expected a quite ride once more but that wasn't the case.

"Evening Hermione, are you just leaving now?"

"Oh no, I forgot some stuff Mr. Weasley."

"Did Molly ever get a hold of you about tomorrow night?"

"No."

"Well, we're having a family dinner sort of thing and we were wondering if you and Draco wanted to stop by. That's only if you don't have any plans."

"I don't know about him but I'll be able to make it."

"Wonderful, how does six o'clock sound?"

She nodded, "I'll be there."

They stepped off the lift at the same time and then apparated away. She didn't know how she would be able to tell everyone that the wedding was off. Every other time her and Draco had taken a cooling off period she'd never told the Weasley's, probably because she knew that they would work things out. Now she knew it was over for good. To tell them would be giving them the opportunity to say 'I told you so' after all it had only been a few months before that they had finally accepted that they wouldn't be able to do anything about the upcoming wedding.

The following evening Hermione apparated to The Burrow at exactly six o'clock. She knocked on the door and someone from inside called out for her to come in. She walked into the kitchen where she heard the majority of the noise coming from and almost walked back out when she saw who was standing, leaning against the counter. If Harry hadn't have walked in behind her, blocking her exit she would have turned and fled.

"How's it going?" Harry greeted her.

She shrugged, not trusting her voice. Draco looked up at the new additions to the room and smiled at the woman who he pretended to love. Brushing his way past people he made his way over to her. He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips but he didn't make eye contact with her. He reached for her hand and that's when he looked up at her, "Where's your ring?" he asked abruptly.

Here it comes, she thought, "Draco, we need to talk."

"What's going on?"

She pulled him out of the crowded room and into the living room.

"Draco I think..." she didn't get to say anything more because down the stairs ran Ginny.

"Hey," she greeted both Hermione and Draco.

"Great, come here," Hermione said to Ginny but she couldn't miss the panicked look that Ginny exchanged with Draco, "It'll be good if you hear this as well?"

"Hermione, where's your ring?"

With a gulp Hermione started talking, or rather yelling.

xxx.:.x.

a/n Yeah so this idea has been rolling around in my head for a while and I'm happy to finally get the chance to write it. I hope you enjoy it and please review.


	2. Confrontation

"Hermione where's you ring?" Ginny asked right away.

All Hermione wanted to do was scream, 'you bitch,' at her once best friend but she held back. She would have more than enough time later to say those hate filled words.

"What's going on babe?" Draco asked.

The babe was enough to send her over the edge, "You bastard," she threw her words at him, but the bounced off harmlessly.

"Excuse me, what are you so mad about? I apologized for missing our dinner."

"Yeah in a flippin' two word note."

"What else was I supposed to do, I got caught up in a meeting. DId you want me to write you a novel explaining why I couldn't have dinner with you?"

"Get back here," Hermione screamed when she saw Ginny try to slink out of the room. The elevated noise level at by then caught the attention of the rest of the Weasley Clan because Bill poked his head out of the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Peachy," Hermione snarled, she didn't wait to make sure he was gone, she just dove right back into her rant, "I went to your office today. I had the shock of my life. I found out that you were going out for dinner, no let me rephrase that, a make up dinner for last night. Only problem was I wasn't invited to it. Your wonderful assistant explained or should I say let slip all the wonderful details. Nice office you have by the way, not even one picture of your fiance, one may think that to be strange."

Draco and Ginny were both standing with their arms crossed glaring at her, "Yeah so?"

"Let me ask you this, when someone is about to get married isn't it not considered unethical to go off and have dinner with your fiances best friend? Oh and wait it gets even better. What would you say if the bride to be witness her fiance kissing her best friend while they were having dinner?"

Neither of the two could protest. It was quite evident that Hermione had seen them so how could they deny it?

Hermione was beginning to feel queasy again and she prayed that it would go away, now wasn't the time for her to have to run for the bathroom. She shook her head and lowered her voice, she'd done her yelling and it had no effect on them. Now she would try a different angle, disappointment.

"You know Ginny as much as this should hurt me it doesn't. I can deal with it because honestly I've known for a while. You've hurt somebody a lot more than me though and I think he deserves to know."

"No Hermione, please don't," she begged, "no!"

"Why shouldn't I, you tore apart my life so why should I respect your opinion?"

"It'll kill him."

"He'll survive, isn't it better for him to learn now from you instead of through the grapevines because I assure you I will not keep this one quite. Besides you should have considered what this would do to Harry before you did it."

"Did what?" a voice called out from behind him.

"Nothing," Ginny smiled at her boyfriend.

Her words didn't satisfy Harry's curiosity because he didn't give up, "No really tell me."

"It's nothing Potter," Malfoy snarled.

"Oh so you're a part of it too Malfoy? Hermione what's going on?"

Hermione glanced over at Ginny, silently telling Ginny that she had one chance to tell him or she would. Ginny remained mute.

"It seems," Hermione began.

"Shut up," Malfoy growled this time towards Hermione.

"Fine you tell him Malfoy," Hermione backed out of the way.

"Tell me what?"

"It's nothing Harry," Ginny said sweetly as she walked over to Harry's side, grasped his arm and tried to tug him out of the room.

Hermione didn't know how to word what she was about to say. Then again she figured that it didn't have to be elegantly scripted because either way it was still going to throw a life altering blow, "Ginny just wanted to let you know that she's been seeing Malfoy behind yours and my backs for a good six months," from the look on both Malfoy's and Ginny's faces she knew she'd figured right.

"What?" was all Harry could manage but even that only came out in a croak, "Ginny?" his eyes were the windows to all his pain. He didn't want to believe it but Hermione knew that he understood what her words had meant. Grabbing Draco's arm she steered him out of the room and up the stairs. In one of the bedrooms she pushed him down on the bed and stood over him. Now she wasn't going to be nice, "What the fuck?" she screamed. Her words hit him like and unforgivable curse for she hardly ever swore.

"You had it coming," he snarled, his voice filled with hatred.

"Where you really going to marry me you bastard?"

"What do you want me to say to that?"

"Maybe the truth for once, since we've had such a limited supply of it up until now."

"Yeah she wasn't good enough for that position. Besides she wouldn't leave Potter."

Hermione was momentarily enraged that he would speak so little of Ginny but then reality hit her and she remembered what Ginny had done. With that said she didn't take the other half of Draco's comment as a compliment either, "So I was to be the old hag and she was to be your bitch, is that right?"

"If we're being on now, yeah," he smiled.

"Do you have no conscience?" she demanded.

"The better question is do you? After all if I recall correctly you were my mistress were you not?"

He was right, she should have known he'd bring that up. Maybe that was another reason why she hadn't been as angry as she should have been.

"Hmm, doesn't that sound familiar? You begging and begging me to get rid of my wife so we could be together. For being so smart you are incredibly stupid. Did you not think that once you vacated your position it would be filled?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hermione demanded she was so confused.

"I'm talking about the fact that you know what I'm like, I have a mistress on top of a wife. If you were the mistress everything was fine and dandy for you but when you get to the spot of wife well then there's a vacant position that needs to be filled. You willingly left that safety net."

"You are freakin' insane," she fumed, "Listen to yourself, are you trying to justify what you did?"

"Why should I justify it?"

"I don't know but I'm done. I'm sorry I ever thought I loved you, now I realize that nobody could ever love you," she turned around and walked out of the room. She placed a hand on her stomach and was relieved that she had controlled her nausea throughout the confrontation. She flew down the stairs and saw Ginny sitting by herself on the couch with her head in her hands. Looking through her hands she saw that the new addition to the room was Hermione and so she stood up, "Hermione," she pleaded through her tears, "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I don't know why I did it."

"Yes you did," Hermione said, "and thanks."

"For what?"

"Showing me what idiots both of you are and proving that I'm wasting my time be interacting with you," those words delivered just the right amount of sting that Hermione had been hoping for and without another word she walked away from the once second most important person in her life. Hermione entered the kitchen to find that everyone was sitting absolutely silently and staring at the door, "If you haven't heard by now I'm leaving."

"Has Draco left?" Mrs. Weasley asked but she assumed she knew the answer to that after all the screaming that was coming primarily from Hermione.

"I think for now, but I have to warn you, you may have a new son-in-law sooner than you thought," with that she apparated out of the house, leaving the entire family sitting on the edge of their seats.

Back at her apartment Hermione flopped down on her couch. It was with her deepest sorrow that she realized she wasn't going to be able to live there any longer. Draco would realize she'd left with his unimaginable expensive engagement ring and he would come looking for her with a vengeance. She wasn't prepared to give it back to him. Wherever she was going to go she may need it one day. Then again it would be his portion of the support to raise their child. The other person Hermione didn't want to lay eyes on again was Ginny. Her last words to the red head had been the truth but that still didn't make what she did any easier to forgive. The rest of the Weasley family would undoubtedly come looking for her to see how she was doing and she didn't want to face any of them. The only one she felt like talking to knocked on her door not seconds after she had the thought.

She stood up and walked over to the door. Through the peep hole she could see the raven black messy hair of her best friend. Unlocking the door and then pulling it open she allowed him to lumber in. He took her up on her offer of a drink and then he made his way over to her couch which she had just vacated. She found the remnants of the alcohol she had hidden out of her sights and poured Harry a large glass full.

"Here," she handed him the glass and sat down opposite him in one of the comfortable chairs.

"You're not having one? I thought you would be drinking straight out of the bottle by the time I got here," he chuckled.

"I was afraid that if I started I would never stop," it wasn't completely honest but it was close enough to the truth.

He nodded his agreement, "Yeah stopping could be a problem. I just can't believe she'd do that. It doesn't seem at all like her."

"No, it doesn't," Hermione agreed.

"How...how long have you known?" he whispered.

"I've suspected there was someone else for a long time, I just found out it was her last night."

"I thought nothing would come between you and Malfoy. You seem so stable."

A rather unpleasant snort followed Harry's comment and Hermione bursted out laughing after it, "If only you know. Since we've been engaged eight months ago I've only worn his ring for three and a half months. The wedding has been off more than it has been on. That's why it's more of a relief for me to realize I'm finally over this. It's done," the only thing that made her angry still was the fact that she was now going to be a single parent but she'd deal with that later.

"Wow, I never would have guessed. You know I was going to propose to Ginny. I almost did last week. Imagine that. I almost wish I had of just so I could have seen her face, I wonder what she would have done?"

"There you go," she commented encouragingly to Harry when he led out a short laugh, "you'll manage to get through this."

"What are you going to do?" Harry asked. He had sensed as soon as he had walked in the Hermione had already made up her mind about what her next move would be.

"Oh I don't know," she said lightly.

She never got to say anything more because a rude banging on the door interrupted them. Once again Hermione stood up and made her way to the peep hole which she looked out. This time she wasn't so relieved to see the person on the other side of the door.

"It's her isn't it?" Harry asked, "If it was him, you'd let him in. You don't have to protect me Hermione."

"I don't want to see her but if you want to I'll leave for a bit," she offered.

"Nah, I'm good," he threw his head back and downed half of his glass in one gulp.

"Sure you are."

The banging continued on for a few more minutes but then it disappeared. Hermione didn't know if one of her neighbors had come out and complained or what because she figured Ginny wouldn't have just given up on her own accord.

They sat in almost silence for the next half an hour. The only sound reaching their ears was that of the clock making it's timed sweeps and the ice in Harry's glass clinking together. Hermione stood up when her stomach rumbled, she'd forgotten she hadn't eaten dinner.

"Are you hungry?"

"No I don't think I'll be able to eat for some time," he said.

Any other time she would have agreed with that but now her body was demanding food to nourish the growing baby inside of her. She set to work preparing whatever she could find but was interrupted once more by an angry pounding on the door.

"Hermione," Harry called out warily, "it's Malfoy."

"Thanks, just ignore it," she'd been right, he had finally come around and noticed that she hadn't returned his ring.

"Granger," she heard him yell through the thick door but the words came out distorted, "Granger open up your damn door."

Harry came into the kitchen and leaned up against the counter.

"Somebody will call the police, he'll get arrested. I wonder how he'll deal with having to interact with muggles," she laughed lightly.

"I wish I could see that."

"Yeah," she replied, "that would be nice."

She finished making up her dinner but the banging on her door didn't stop.

"You know we could always call them ourselves," she laughed.

"Yeah, help it along a bit."

They both began to laugh and few a few short seconds they were carefree, two old friends having a laugh together. That moment didn't last long. Hermione wolfed down her meal and then began racing around her flat.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked her.

"I need to get away," she replied, "You've seen what he's like, I can't hang around."

"Where will you go?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"I'll come with you," Harry quickly said without thinking.

"No, you don't have to. I'll be fine."

"You'll come back though right? Right?" he'd already lost so much, he wasn't prepared to loose his best friend to some far off land.

"Yeah," she said. She hoped she convinced him, because she sure wasn't convinced. With her wand in hand she quickly performed a few spells and all of her possessions flew over to her trunks and arranged themselves neatly inside. Less than two minutes later Hermione was standing in her now bare apartment. The only thing that remained was the furniture because they were to large to take with her. Even with a shrinking charm she didn't know where she would end up so there was no point bringing the items. Once settled wherever, she could always come back. She had bought the flat, she wasn't renting it so as long as she kept up on the payments she should have any problem with her stuff getting disturbed.

Her trunks were shrunk down by Harry as she adorned her traveling cloak. She then proceeded to slip the small rectangular boxes into her pockets.

"I guess this is it then," Harry said, "you will right often so I know that you're okay."

"Harry," she chuckled, "I'm a big girl I can take care of myself. It's you we both have to worry about," she briefly felt guilty for fleeing and leaving Harry here to suffer through everything. How selfish could she be? But then she had to think of the baby. She couldn't allow it to grow up in such a place and she wasn't prepared to fight Draco for custody of the child when she knew full well that he was unfit to be a parent but would win the battle because of who he was. It made her sick just thinking of loosing the child. That was the only reason why she was leaving, she repeated to herself but it didn't help much.

"Yeah, maybe I'll follow you. Start anew somewhere else. England's been...well interesting but with you gone who's left here. Ron's here but I don't really want to go back to the Weasley's place if you know what I mean. A new place, a new live. That would be nice," he mused quietly enough for her to wonder if he wanted her to hear him.

"Sounds like a plan," she opened her arms and they embraced tightly, "I'm going to miss you," she whispered through her tears when they finally separated.

"Yeah me too. We'll see each other though. Everything doesn't have to end because of what they did. Are you going to go and see Ron before you leave?"

She'd never thought of that she gasped. He'd be so furious if he knew she left without saying goodbye, "No, could you tell him something for me?"

"Sure, anything."

"Tell him I'm sorry for running but one day I'll explain it to him, just right now I'm not ready to."

"Hermione," Harry said skeptically, "Is something up, something you aren't telling me?"

"I'm sorry, I can't," she whispered, "one day," she promised.

They hugged one final time and Hermione wandered over to the window where she took her final look at England for what would be some time.

"Merlin I love this city," she said, "I never thought I'd leave it."

Harry understood that she still wanted to stay but he knew like she did but not for the same reason that she had to leave.

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye Harry, I'm sorry and thank you," with that as her final farewell she apparated off into the unknown.

a/n I know this chapter is substantially shorter and a bit butchered. It's mostly dialogue and I'm really disappointed with how it turned out. That is the reason for the short chapter. What is to happen next I want to be written well and obviously now isn't a good time to do it so I cut it off. I hope this hasn't turned you off of the story because I assure you things will get better I promise. Thanks for sticking with me. Cheers.


	3. Turmoil

She walked along the streets that were coming more and more familiar to her. It had taken her months but she finally felt confident in finding her way around the muggle city. Placing a caring hand over her protruding stomach she continued on her, not before receiving a few admiring looks from women passing by her. Smiling in return she tried to avoid talking to any of the strangers. It wasn't that she felt out of place with her accent-that people told her she had but she didn't here-because there was no better of a place than Vancouver for a Caucasian to feel like a minority. In the city there was more East Indians and Orientals than she every would have predicted. It was a strange thing the run into the traditional blonde haired, blue eyed person, but she wasn't complaining.

Hermione had chosen to live in a muggle neighbourhood, but only because nothing in the Wizard Community jumped out at her. The first time she'd stepped foot into the building she had known that the flat-or condo as they called it-was perfect for her. There had been three bedrooms, exactly what she'd been looking for, for when the baby was born. The real estate lady had said commented on how it was an expensive building and how the housing prices in the city had skyrocketed but that didn't faze Hermione. She'd just moved from London and the prices had paled in comparison.

As it had been in England, money wasn't much of an issue. She'd been hired on the spot at the Canadian equivalent of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement called the Ministry of Justice. What had secured her the position had been her outstanding recommendation from her former Department Head in London. He'd explained how she was just about to receive the promotion to Senior Assistant to the Head of Department before she'd left for personal reasons.

It was a great job, similar to what she'd done in London because the Canadian system was so very similar to the English.

To be in a modern city was a new thing for her. No part of England was new, you were lucky to get a new building but that was about it. In Vancouver everything was modern and new buildings were springing up everywhere. Walking into her building she greeted a few of her neighbours that she recognized and the made her way over to the elevators as they called them. On the 18th floor she exited the elevator and walked down the hallway to her apartment.

Once she was safely alone she kicked her swollen feet out of her shoes and sat down on the couch, drawing her feet up as well. She sighed, this sure wasn't how she'd always planned to spend her last few weeks of her first pregnancy, very single and in a different country. She'd made a few friends, and one really good one but there was no guy. What sane guy would be interested in a large pregnant oaf? None that she'd met so far. They'd all been nice before she'd started showing but at that time she'd been in no state of mind to start dating again. When she'd finally started to get used to what had happened she was getting bigger and that had sent the guys scrambling for cover.

Just as she began to settle down her stomach began to growl, an hourly occurrence it seemed. Deciding she had little choice she struggled awkwardly to her feet. Half way up she feared she was going to go crashing back down but she made it. She was heading over to the kitchen when she heard somebody call her name. Spinning back around she waddled over to the fireplace. A thing that had posed great problem to her. Apparently nobody liked to have fireplaces and if they did they were powered by gas. A huge problem when you wanted to use the Floo Network. She'd consulted her co workers with the dilemma, hoping they'd have an easy solution and they had, talk to the Ministry of Transportation. She did and The Ministry of Transport had to come into her apartment and make some significant changes to the building but in the end they'd walked away and she had a fireplace hooked up to the Floo Network.

"Hey girlie, how was your last day of work?" the voice called out from the fireplace.

"Don't remind me," Hermione grumbled in reply.

"That bad? Just remember that you have a year before you have to go back again."

"Annelyse, would you excuse me," when she saw the hurt look on her friends face she quickly tried to take back her statement, "Or just come on over. I'm starving and I feel like I'll pass out if I don't get something to eat pronto," she didn't have to say anything more. Annelyse the mother hen had disappeared from the fireplace and no sooner was she standing in Hermione's living room.

"Let's get you some food, we don't want you unconscious now do we?" she reached out for Hermione's arm and dragged her over to the kitchen. After pushing her down to rest on one of the bar stools she set about flicking her wand and preparing a meal.

"Annie," Hermione whined,"I can take care of myself, you don't need to baby me."

"Oh yes I do. Have you looked at yourself lately? You're to damn stubborn for your own good. Any normal person would be flat out in bed and making somebody else do everything for them.

"That sounds nice, but most women who are pregnant have a boyfriend or a husband living with them."

Annie replied, "I'm here for you," she didn't have much else she could say. She was happily engaged and happily childless. It wasn't that she didn't love kids because she adored them. It was just because she wasn't ready to settle into a routine that kids would ensure. Both her and her husband were very spontaneous and adventurous people. One Friday night they'd both leave work and on the spur of the moment decide that they wanted to head up to Whistler and ski the glaciers for the entire weekend. They next weekend they'd be playing the social scene in the city. There was never a free nor dull moment for Annelyse and Dayton.

"I'm staying with you until the baby's born," Annelyse said spur of the moment.

"Annie that's not necessary. What about Dayton?"

"He'll survive."

"So will I."

"I'm worried about you Hermione. I know if I was in your shoes I wouldn't want to be by myself these last few weeks. Don't argue with me, it won't change my mind," she said matter of factly.

Hermione couldn't argue that because deep down she was relieved to know that she wouldn't be on her own, "If you insist," she grumbled.

"I do," she replied as she spooned the pasta that she'd just made out into two bowls and handed one to Hermione, "eat!"

Hermione didn't need telling twice. She shovelled the bowl of tomatoes and pasta down and then scooped herself another bowl. Washing it all down with a cold glass of water.

After Annie cleaned up the kitchen Hermione said that she needed to get some air and so they agreed to go out for a walk. Out in the cool night air the two women pulled their jackets closer against them. The threat of rain was hanging over them as they strolled through the downtown part of the city but it managed to hold off.

The cars of the after work rush hour rushed past them and people hurried by on foot. Because of how far along Hermione was they were not walking fast and so they were jostled around quite a bit by the faster paced walkers.

"I think I need to head back," Hermione said through a grimace because her back was really starting to bother her and she told Annie such.

"Sure, are you going to be okay?"

"Let's just get home," she clenched her jaw.

They tried to get back to Hermione's building quickly but because of the new pain Hermione was in it was a slow process. Back at her apartment after the door had closed behind her Hermione crouched down and doubled up into a fetal position or one that resembled it because the size of her stomach made it difficult to curl up tightly.

"You're not okay," Annie said crouching down beside Hermione and placing a hand on her back.

"No shit," Hermione swore.

"Time to go to the hospital?"

"It doesn't feel like what anybody said contractions feel like. I don't think it's them."

"What could it be then?"

"I don't know?" she stumbled over her words.

"Okay I'm taking you to the hospital."

This time Hermione didn't protest as Annie grabbed her arm and side along apparated her to the Wizarding Hospital. At the front desk the Healer saw them apparate in and she jumped up from her seat and rushed over to Hermione's side with a wheel chair in tow, "Here sit down," she ordered and Hermione obliged without question. The Healer then using a lot of hand movement told Annie where to take Hermione.

Once they'd arrived in Maternity one of the Healers came over with a clipboard of information for Hermione to fill out. The pain had some what subsided but not fully. In her lower back there was still a throbbing ache. Annelyse read out the questions to Hermione who muttered the answers which Annie recorded. Once they had finished Annie rushed the paperwork back and had a whispered conversation with the Healer who then came speed walking over to the wheelchair Hermione was sitting in.

Annie walked behind them as the Healer rolled the wheelchair into one of the rooms at the end of the hallway. The Healer helped Hermione out of the wheelchair and onto the bed as Annie watched on.

The lady then proceeded out of the room and no sooner had the door closed but it opened again, admitting a middle aged woman.

"Good evening Ms..." she glanced quickly at Hermione's charts, "Ms. Granger. I'm Healer Andson but you can call me Nancy. So you're about to have a baby."

"Call me Hermione and I don't know. It doesn't feel like what anybody describes it as," she commented warily.

"Let's take a look then. I'll just get you first to change into this gown," she passed over a hospital issue gown and then left the room so Hermione could change.

Annie helped Hermione out of her clothes and into the gown and then she went out to tell the Healer that they were ready. Nancy came back into the room and then proceeded to do a full exam on Hermione. After she'd finished she pushed her stool back and pulled of her gloves with a crisp snap.

"Well Hermione I can tell you that you are going to be having a baby in the coming hours."

"What?" Hermione exclaimed, jolting up on the bed.

Annie pushed Hermione back down and grasped her hand, giving it a firm squeeze. With a grin she said, "Aww Hermione."

"I can't be," Hermione tried to defend herself again.

"I can assure you that you indeed are. You are only a few centimetres dilated so it will be a bit before we have some work to do. Until then you can take a walk, have a nap, whatever you'd like."

"Is everything okay?" Annie asked.

"I can't see anything out of the ordinary," Nancy said, "I'll be back regularly to check on you. If you have any problems then make sure you page me."

Hermione nodded and then as Nancy walked out the door she flopped back on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she didn't blink for the longest time. Annelyse waited patiently by her, waiting for her friend to come around. When Hermione's eye's refocused she turned on her side, one hand supporting her head and the other resting protectively over her stomach.

"I'll be with you the whole time," Annie reassured Hermione, "you'll be fine."

"You should probably let Dayton know where you'll be," Hermione recommended, she didn't want Dayton to panic when his wife didn't return home.

"Yeah, I'll go Floo him. Will you be okay? Do you need anything? I can run into town and pick up anything you'd like. A magazine or a book?"

"Sure, something," she dismissed any further enquiry with a wave of her hand. With that as her hint Annie turned and walked out into the corridor. She passed on man as she walked down the hallway and she smiled pleasantly at him. He returned the smile and she didn't pass any more people after that until she reached the Waiting Room. Along the one side of the large room was a row of fireplaces. In each of the five grates flames shot up but one would think that that many fires would cause the room to be unbearably stuffy. It was not, magic could do amazing things.

Annelyse reached into the pot of Floo Powder that rested on the mantle and threw it into the flames of the first fire she passed. When the flames turned emerald she called out her intended destination and then stepped into the flames and was whisked away in a swirl. She tumbled out of the fireplace in her bedroom and realized right away that she'd startled her husband.

"I didn't expect you home so early," he commented from over top his newspaper he was reading while laying atop the covers of their bed. He was still in his work clothes Annelyse noted and the look of him all professional turned her on. She reluctantly forced the feeling away, now was not the time for a little fun between husband and wife.

"Hermione's at the hospital," she told her husband.

He didn't move off of the bed but he did close his paper and folded it up along the crisp creases, "Is everything okay?"

"She's gone into labour," Annie explained, "We were out for a walk and yeah..."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"No, I'll call you later. Besides it sounds like we'll be there for sometime. I just wanted to let you know that I won't be home for a bit and also I promised Hermione I'd pick something up for her to keep her occupied. Poor girl, I feel horribly sad for her," Hermione had told her that she'd come to Canada after her engagement had ended and that was it. Annie always wondered what the details were but she was to polite to ask. She vowed to make a point of finding the answers to that question after the baby was born.

"She'd lucky to have you," Dayton said standing up and walking over to his wife.

"It's just I'm really all she has right now. She has no guy with her, none of her best friends which I'm heard snippets about although I think one of them betrayed her somehow in England. Just a feeling, and her family isn't here. She's so brave, going to raise this child on her own. She left her home when she knew she may well have to deliver a baby by herself in a different country."

Dayton embraced her, but that only increased Annelyse's urge to be with him.

"And all this baby talk has got me..."

"You're considering having a baby now aren't you?" he raised his eyebrows so high that they almost disappeared into his shaggy brown hair that she loved.

"Well, I was going to say horny," she laughed, "but now is not the time for that, I have to get back to Hermione."

"You said it yourself that she was going to be waiting around for a long time. Come on, it'll not take very long," he pleaded with her through his eyes. It didn't take much begging though because she'd already been swayed.

"Why are you still in those clothes?" she demanded as she ripped off her shirt and kicked her pants off at record speed. Her bra and panties were on the floor seconds later and Dayton was already undressed and covering her with sweet kisses, "We don't have time," she moaned because his lips had found the one spot along her jaw that did her in every time.

"Fine!" he pulled her up off the ground and placed her on the bed and jumped up on top of her. Before they knew it he was inside of her.

After their quickie she threw her clothes back on, kissed her husband who was now laying in the same spot that he'd been when she'd Flooed in. The only difference was he had nothing on and a pillow was perched across his hips covering himself. At the last second she remembered she'd promised to bring some source of entertainment and so she grabbed the stack of magazines that were waiting to be read off the night-stand.

Back at the hospital she Flooed into a nearly empty waiting room, all except for one family who was huddled off in the far corner. Annelyse made her way back down the hallway to Hermione's closed door. She softly knocked and when Hermione called out for her to enter she did so.

"Hey sorry I took so long," Annie spewed out her apology right away. Best get it out in the open off the bat.

"You weren't that long, to be honest I wasn't expecting you back for a while."

"Really?"

"Really," Hermione nodded and smiled.

"I brought you these," Annie handed Hermione the three magazines. One was a tabloid but she figured when she bought it that it would make her laugh at how stupid people were to believe the stuff and the other two were fashion magazines.

Hermione placed them on the table that was to the right of her bed and put her head back.

"You should get some rest," Annie commented, "you look exhausted already."

"I think I might," she closed her eyes and then let her thoughts and worries drift away for the time being.

Annie flipped through the magazines as Hermione dozed, but every ten minutes or so she would pull herself into a ball and ride out the contraction. She wouldn't open her eyes but Annie knew that she would have woken up when the contraction rippled through her.

An hour passed and Nancy stuck her head in the door, "It can wait," she said when she saw Hermione sleeping, "I don't want to disturb her now. She's going to have a hard night as it is."

"Thanks," Annie said appreciatively.

"You should get some rest as well. I'll let you girls be now," she whispered and then closed the door softly.

Annelyse considered what the Healer had just proposed and figured she was right. The chair that she was sitting in was quite uncomfortable for sleeping in but she would try. She closed her eyes and the next thing she knew she was woken up by somebody entering the room once more.

"Just come into check on how you're doing?" Annie heard the voice whisper.

"I'm okay," Hermione answered.

Annie's eyes shot open and Hermione smiled at her tired friend.

"How long was I asleep for?" she asked.

"I've been reading for half an hour and you haven't moved in that entire time."

Annie jumped out of her seat and rushed over to Hermione's side as Nancy sat down on her stool to check how Hermione was doing.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." Annie babbled.

"Hey," Hermione held up a hand to silence her friend, "it's okay. Nothing happened."

"A little bit happened," a voice called up to them. When she saw the panicked looks on both women's faces she quickly reassured them, "I mean you're dilated another centimetre."

"So what's that three now?" Hermione figured, "we're going to be here forever," she moaned and slumped back into her pillow.

"Everything is looking okay. Do you have any questions or is anything bothering you?" the woman asked Hermione who shook her head in reply, "okay then I'll be in later."

Once the door had closed behind the Healer, Hermione turned to Annie and said, "I guess if we're going to be here for a while I might as well tell you why I'm here. In Vancouver I mean."

"No, you don't have to," Annie replied quickly. She didn't want Hermione getting worked up and elevating her heart rate or something like it, she didn't know the details but she figured it wouldn't be a good thing to stress out the baby or Hermione for that matter.

"Yeah I do. You're sitting here with me, the least I can do is be honest with you," she didn't say anything more because for the first time since the first few contractions had hit her she cringed and curled up.

"Breath Hermione, take a deep breath. That a girl!"

Once the pain had subsided Hermione began talking again. They knew that they had approximately 8 minutes before the next contraction would hit.

"I was engaged and to everyone else we were the fairy tale couple. He was the forbidden fruit that tasted oh so sweet that I had to have. What made him even more forbidden was that he was married. I started to see him. We'd sneak over to my place because his wife was at his or we'd rent a hotel room or just go off the path in the dark park. Whatever was closest really. Then one day he tells me that his marriage is over and we go public. It was a media frenzy because of my place in the war and because he was from the most well off pureblood family."

Annelyse knew about Hermione's part in the war in no detail. It was a war that made international headlines because of it's villains and the boy who lived, but not much was ever said about Hermione Granger on the world scale.

"Yeah so to the entire country we looked like this amazing power couple who never fought, never got on each other's nerves, etceteras. We were by no means that. By the time we got engaged we must have won the award for the most on again off again's in a relationship."

Hermione continued on explaining her and Malfoy's early relationship, that wasn't the hard part to talk about. What was hard came time for her to talk about right when another contraction hit. She rode through it, squeezing Annie's hand throughout and breathing deeply. After it had passed she took a couple more deep breaths, "I suspected something was wrong and then I saw him...he was..."

"Shhh," Annie soothed, "don't worry about it. You don't have to tell me now," besides she was pretty sure she had it figured out what had happened. Hermione's fiancé had been having an affair and she'd stumbled upon them being together.

"My best friend and my fiancé were sleeping together and had been for sometime," she spit it out in one hurried breath. There she'd got it out. It took a little bit for the queasy feeling she had to pass but then the overwhelming sense of relief washed over her. Somebody else knew. Somebody who was her friend. From the shocked look on Annelyse's face, Hermione could tell that that had not been what she'd suspected she would hear.

"I am so sorry," Annie now stumbled over her words. So that was the reason why Hermione never talked about her friends. What a horrible, horrible thing to have your fiancé betray you and then have your best friend turn on you as well. She couldn't imagine it.

They didn't have time think about what had just been revealed for very long because Hermione closed her eyes and said, "I don't feel good."

Annie noticed right away how deathly pale she looked, so much so that her skin looked like it wasn't there and then her heart sunk. Seeping through the sheets between Hermione's legs was a red stain.

"Don't move," Annie cried as she jumped to her feet and ran over to the door. She called for help and a couple of Healers raced into the room. They moved extremely quickly and Annie was pushed to the edge of the room. She couldn't understand what the Healers were saying but the one thing she did hear was the youngest of the two say that they needed to get Nancy in there pronto. Something was very wrong.

x.:.x.:.x

a/n well this story is finally starting to roll. I hope you enjoyed this because I really liked writing it and I can't wait to get some more stuff down. I'm not going to promise a date for an update because life's busy right now but I will tell you that it shouldn't be to long. Reviews do help though. :) Cheers.


	4. Life and Death

The door flew open and in rushed Nancy pulling on a pair of rubber gloves. The younger Healer began to hurriedly whispered something to Nancy and then stepped out of the way.

Annie stood at the side of Hermione's bed and clutched her friends hand tightly. She was terrified. Her heart rate was up and her hands had gone clammy. She couldn't image what was going through Hermione's head.

Nancy pulled out her wand and pointed it at Hermione's stomach and muttered a spell. Seconds later an image appeared on the wall. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at the grainy black and white image.

The strange image made sense to the group of Healer's in the room because Nancy quickly deposited her wand back into her pocket. The image stayed up on the wall though.

"Steven get me a drip of Pitocin going," Nancy barked, "I want a point five milliunit per minute going."

The male healer raced over to the cart situated in the corner of the room and came back with a syringe and a small medicine jar.

The young healer named Emily was already working on Hermione's right hand, trying to get a central line in, "It's in," she called out and accepted the filled syringe from her coworker, then she injected it's contents into the line.

Hermione was hardly moving, but her eyes were racing around, trying to follow everything that was going on, "Annie what's happening?" she whispered quietly.

"What's going on?" Annie voiced Hermione's concern louder.

"Hermione," Nancy said standing beside the bed, "I believe you have a partial Placental Abruption."

"What does that mean?" Annie demanded, not waiting for the Healer to finish.

"It means that the placenta has prematurely separated from your Uterine wall. It's not a full separation as of yet so I'm given you a dosage of Pitocin which will speed up your contractions. I want to deliver your baby as soon as I can. If the partial separation turns into a total one we will have to do an emergency cesarean."

Hermione's lips began to quiver and she squeezed her eyes tightly closed.

"It'll be okay," Annie tried to sooth her but to no avail.

"Your bleeding has stopped for the time being and we'll be monitoring you closely. Try to relax," Nancy said and then she turned to leave the room, "Annelyse may I please have a word with you?"

Annie glanced over at Hermione who slowly nodded her head in approval. Nancy saw right away that she was reluctant to leave her friend unattended, "It wouldn't take very long and Emily we stay in here," she instructed Emily who nodded and sat down in Annie's recently vacated chair.

Out in the hallway Nancy pulled the door closed behind them and said, "Let's go to my office."

They walked down the hallway in silence and rounded the corner, leaving the main hallway behind them. This section of the hospital was lined with closed doors with nameplates attached to them at eye level. The second door on the right said Healer Nancy Andson, Head Gynecologist.

Nancy proceeded to open the door and invited Annie in. Inside Annie found herself in a small but nice office which had a window view to the courtyard. They were on the third floor and so she couldn't see any people mingling about below, all she could see without stepping closer to the window was rows and rows of windows on the other side of the hospital.

WIth her back to the window Nancy sat down in the chair and Annie following her lead took the one opposite her.

"What's going on?" Annie demanded.

"Hermione's risk of having a total separation is very high and I'd predict that she has a 90% chance of it happening. I want you to be prepared because if this happens the baby will go into distress and we'll have to perform a Cesarean."

"Okay I already know that?" Annie replied but she was skeptical. She knew she was in the secluded office for a reason and that wasn't just so Nancy could retell her what she'd just told Hermione.

"I know you and Hermione are close but I'm just wondering if you think you should contact the father or her parents."

"I don't understand?"

Nancy let out a slow sigh and adjusted a stack of parchment on her desk, "If Hermione starts to hemorrhage it is very likely that we will have to perform a hysterectomy. That's not the only thing. The baby will be deprived of oxygen in the uterus and..." she didn't need to finish.

Annie brought her hands up to her mouth and gasped, "You're saying...the baby might not..." she couldn't formulate her words.

"I'm saying that with the condition she's currently in the risk of death can go up to 5%," the bad news didn't stop there, "If the placenta fully separates the chances of the baby's survival is slim. 30%-50% survival rate. If it does survive the chance of it having a lifelong problem to to oxygen deprivation is about 50/50."

The two women sat in absolute silence for quite a few seconds. Annie wiping tears from her eyes, "Her families in England, I'm all she has here."

"Do you want to call anybody for yourself?"

"My husband," she quickly nodded.

"I'll leave you to your call then. The powder's in the jar on the mantle. I'll go and check on Hermione," she said and then she left the room.

Annie took a minute before standing up, not trusting her legs to support her. When she finally managed to stand she was very unsteady and had to grasp onto the side of the desk and then cling to the mantle to keep her upright. With a shaking hand she lifted the lid off of the small pot and scooped out a handful of powder. She tossed it into the fire and then struggled down to her knees.

"Dayton," she choked out. It took a couple of minutes of calling but then her husband emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. If it weren't for the circumstances she would have taken a second to admire her husbands killer body.

"What's up?" Dayton replied cooly, but when he saw the look on his wife's face and heard the pain in his voice he was at the hearth in seconds, "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"No...she's...the baby...Dayton," she sobbed.

"I'll be right there," he said and as he said it he was already making his way over to his pile of clothing. It didn't take long before he was standing beside her in person, or better yet supporting her sagging body, "Talk to me."

"The baby..."

"Yes," he tried to get the words out of her.

It took a number of minutes but finally she was calm enough to explain the situation to him.

"You should be with her," he ordered and the exited the office and retraced Annie's steps into the main ward. Outside the door he kissed her gently and then made his way to the waiting room.

Back in the room Annie saw Emily and Nancy puttering around the room. Hermione turned her head and gave her friend a weak smile.

Reclaiming her seat beside the bed Annie grasped Hermione's hand once again and was shocked to feel how cold it was.

"Do you want me to contact your parents?"

"No. They'll only want to come and they can't. They're muggles so they can't apparate or anything. It would be hours for them to find a flight, let alone travel halfway around the world."

Healer Emily moved around beside the bed and injected another dosage of Pitocin into the IV line.

"Did you increase it by 1 unit?" Nancy questioned softly. The room was in a peaceful calm for the moment, or maybe it was just a fearful silence.

Emily nodded, "We had a slight response but this should help getting everything moving."

After an examination it was revealed that the drugs had begun to do their work. Hermione was dilated another couple of centimeters, bringing her up to 5 centimeters.

With being further dilated Hermione's contractions had begun to come faster and more furious.

"You're doing great," Annie coaxed Hermione through a particularly tough contraction.

It was evident that already Hermione was exhausted but there was no time for rest

Another bumped up dose of drugs helped Hermione to pass through Active Labour in a short period of time, pushing her into the toughest part of labour, Transition.

"Oh god," Hermione moaned, biting her lip to keep herself from screaming out as the full force of the contraction washed over her.

"Hermione you can scream, the room is silenced." Nancy urged her.

It didn't take much more coaxing than that because Hermione opened her mouth and let out a loud scream.

The time in between each contraction was getting shorter and the length of each was getting longer.

"I want drugs. I can't do this," Hermione said, admitting defeat.

"You're doing great Hermione, this is the toughest part," Annie coaxed her on, "Once you get through this you'll..."

Her words were cut off by a horrendous cry from Hermione. In seconds Nancy was at Hermione's side, "Hermione I need you to not push."

"I can't," she panted after the pain had subsided.

"You're not fully dilated yet."

"I need to," she protested, "I can feel it. Oh god I need to."

It wasn't even before the next contraction hit that Hermione let out a horrible scream, much worse than any of the previous ones.

Annie felt herself being swept out of the room by somebody but she didn't know who. All she knew was that Nancy wasn't looking so good and Hermione was in even worse of shape.

Hermione felt an intense pain and moisture between her legs. It felt like she'd wet herself. That made her quite embarrassed It was a strange sensation because she could still feel the weight of the baby's-her baby's-head bearing down between her legs. She wanted to push but she didn't have the strength. Everything around her was beginning to spin. The Healers that were crowded around her bed were talking but it sounded like they were a mile a way and speaking in a different language. Something wasn't right. She was very cold but then a wave of warmth swept over her, engulfing her and without a second thought she allowed herself to be swept away into the comfort of the warmth.

As Hermione slipped into unconsciousness the Healers began to prepare for an emergency surgery. They didn't have much time. Minutes. The baby was trapped inside the womb without any source of oxygen. It was life or death for the baby and for Hermione as well who was bleeding more profusely.

"We need to get her a transfusion now or we're going to lose her," Nancy barked, "And get her opened up. This baby is without oxygen. Clocks ticking people."

Unlocking the breaks on the bed with a kick the bed was rushed in the operating room which was prepped for a C-Section.

It only took a couple of minute for Nancy to get into the uterus but that was a couple of minutes that the baby didn't have. They were rushing against a clock that had begun to spin at twice the usual speed.

After the baby had been safely removed from it's death chamber Nancy passed it off to a Neonatal Healer who was standing by. There was no cry and the baby was lifelessly still. She couldn't focus on that now. Hermione was her patient and the baby now had it's own doctor who would do everything for it that he could. Her job was now to try and stop the uncontrollable bleeding that was occurring inside of Hermione.

"I can't stop the bleeding," she said, "I'm going to have to remove the entire thing."

It was a decision she always hated to make, to deny a woman the ability to further carry a child. In this case it was necessary. It was the only possible way she could save Hermione's life at the moment. Hermione would be lucky to be alive after this played out. The least of her worries should be about if she could have another child, but it always did bother her.

The thing was that if Hermione did pull through and the bleeding miraculously stopped, allowing her to keep her uterus Nancy would recommend to her that this be her last pregnancy. Another horrible thing if the baby didn't make it.

The only thing she could do was push her emotions aside and forget about all the 'what-ifs,' she had a job to do and so she set about doing it.

She knew she'd made the right decision when the bleeding still failed to stop. The gown she was wearing and her gloves were covered in the sticky dark red matter.

As the blood poured out of the wound in Hermione's abdomen the Healer's pumped in more blood. They were trying to keep up with the flow but it wasn't doing anything.

Her heart was sinking, she hadn't seen anything that bad before and she'd seem some gruesome situations. It wasn't over yet and so she had to pull herself back to the task at hand.

With the uterus out she let out a sigh of relief. They continued to transfuse blood, trying to make up for all that she had lost but she didn't know. Only time would tell if Hermione would pull though, but for now Hermione was stable.

Yanking off her drenched gown and gloves she washed up and then pulled on a new set of surgical scrubs. In the next room she walked in and held up a mask to her mouth, "Mother's hanging in but she's lost a lot of blood. How's this going?"

The Neonatal Healer replied, "Not good. She's been deprived of oxygen for quite awhile."

She! The baby was a girl. A small detail that Nancy hoped that Hermione would one day get to relish in.

"We're doing all we can but it'll take a miracle for her to pull through, let alone make it out of this without permanent brain damage."

Nancy stepped cautiously over to the side of the table and saw the small bundle lying exposed underneath the harsh lights. Her heart ached for the small being that had for some reason been dealt the wrong hand. What had she ever done wrong?

"The friend's in the waiting room. I need to go and update her on their conditions."

"Critical," the Healer barked in an uncaring manner, but Nancy knew he was anything but uncaring. It took some of the best people to do his job. It was hard enough to deal with the illness and death of patience but a newborn!

"Okay," she said quietly and then pushed her way out of the depressing room.

The hallway she had to walk down to get to the waiting room felt like a mile long but at the same time way to short of a distance. She wasn't thinking properly. She had to go and tell a woman's friend that the person may not survive and that the baby may not as well. What made it even harder was that the woman who was fighting for her life was virtually alone. Her family wasn't there. If Hermione didn't pull through and the baby somehow did it would not have a parent because it was apparent that the father was completely out of the picture.

In the waiting room Nancy saw Annelyse lying curled up with her head in a man's lap.

"Annelyse," Nancy said.

The man jostled her shoulders and said, "She's absolutely exhausted."

It took a minute but Annie came around and sat up. Rubbing her eyes she squinted as her pupils adjusted to the bright lights, "Can I see her?"

Nancy knelt dow so she was eye level with the couple and said, "Hermione lost a lot of blood in surgery. She's stable right now but I had to perform a Hysterectomy."

"Oh god," Annie moaned and the man rubbed her back, "and the baby. How's the baby?"

"In critical condition. The Neonatal Surgeon is working on her now."

"Her?"

Nancy nodded.

"Oh god, Hermione wanted a daughter so badly. She never thought she'd have a girl. Something about boy's running in the family. I don't know," she shook her head, her emotions getting the better of her, "Can I see her?"

"I'll come and get you when you can. She's in recovery right now and we're monitoring her as we speak."

Nancy turned around and walked back into the safety of the hospital. There in the seclusion of her office she closed the door and sunk down to the ground and for the first time in a long time let the tears fall over a patient. Something she had trained herself not to do.

It was a strange feeling for her to let loose but one she welcomed. After she had recovered she stood up and walked over to her desk. If Hermione didn't pull through then she would have to contact the father of the child. This baby was not an orphan, she knew the father was around somewhere.

She stopped in the NICU to check on how the baby was doing. The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit was not a very happy place to be but she knew that for the infants there it was their only hope of survival.

In the far corner where the critical care unit was located Nancy saw the little chest of the baby girl rising and falling. It was a sight that should have made her excited except for when you looked up you saw what was causing the chest to rise and fall, a ventilator. This piece of machinery was the only thing keeping the small child in this world.

Next stop for Nancy was the normal ICU. She examined Hermione, making sure the sutures holding her incision were still in place and nothing was out of place. Her blood pressure was low but Nancy hoped that it would pick back up again after the body had a chance to recover from the ordeal.

Back in the waiting room Annie was pacing back and forth and wringing her hands. Dayton was trying to sooth her and encouraged her to rest but she wouldn't calm down, "I need to contact her family, the father. She wouldn't want me to but I have to."

Her pacing was abruptly stopped when Nancy reentered the room.

"How are they doing?" Annie spat out her words in a jumbled.

"They're both in their own ICU's and we're watching them closely. You can see them if you'd like. Technically you aren't allowed into the NICU because you aren't the direct family but I think she needs someone."

"Yes."

"Do you want me to come?" Dayton asked his wife gently.

"Yes, I don't know if I'll be able to keep myself upright. That's your job. Don't let me fall," she tried to joke but it didn't come out very humorously.

"Would you like to see Hermione or the baby first?"

"The baby. Hermione would want me to take care of the baby before her."

Before entering into the NICU both Dayton and Annelyse had to gown and mask up. After becoming completely covered up they were permitted to enter the sterile ward.

With gloves on Annie stuck out her index finger and stroked the babies head. Dayton's arms were wrapped around his wife incase she lost her footing unexpectedly.

"She's gorgeous," Annie breathed to her husband and then to the baby, "You're a pretty girl. Your Mommy's going to be so happy to see you. She's been waiting for you to arrive for so long. Come on baby you can get through this. You can do it. There's so much ahead for you. Your Mommy's not going to be able to do this without you. Come on baby," Annie broke down in tears and turned to her husband and sobbed into his chest.

Their next stop was in to see Hermione. Annie sat down in the chair beside Hermione's bed and Dayton stood behind her.

"Hermione honey. I just saw your baby. She's a girl. You have a daughter! She's absolutely gorgeous and she's doing good but she needs you. She needs you to get through this. You can do it. Come on Hermione. Your daughter needs you."

They sat in silence and Annie clutched Hermione's hand. She gasped when she felt Hermione's hand twitch and she lifted her head up from the bed and grinned when she saw Hermione's eyes crack open and then flutter close again.   "Hermione can you hear me? Open your eyes. You can do it honey. Come on!"

It worked because Hermione's eyes opened again and this time they stayed open.

"Annie," her voice was raspy and sounded painful.

"Oh Hermione."

"Water?"

"Sure."

From behind them Nancy passed over a paper cup filled with the clear liquid that Hermione was craving.

After Hermione had a sip out of the bendy straw she voiced her new found motherly concern, "My baby?" she brought her hands up to her stomach and placed them over it.

"She's in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit."

"Oh Merlin, is she okay. Wait a minute, she?"

Annie smiled and nodded, "You have a daughter."

"Can I see her?"

Everyone turned and looked at Nancy, "Not right yet. Soon. You're in a pretty bad state yourself and we have to look after you."

That was not the answer the Mother wanted. Who cared about herself, she needed to know that her baby-her daughter-was safe.

"What happened?"

"Your placenta fully detached and we rushed you into the OR. You were bleeding heavily and your baby was denied oxygen for quite a few minutes. We couldn't stop your bleeding and so I had to perform an emergency Hysterectomy."

Those last words shocked Hermione but she was still to concerned about the welfare of her child, "Will she be okay?"

"She's on a ventilator as we speak. Hermione the ventilator is the only thing that's keeping her alive. We're hoping that it will keep her with us long enough for her brain to recover, but we don't know if it will work. She could have been deprived for to long. We'll just have to see."

Hermione dissolved into a mess of tears and words that couldn't be understood, "I have to see her," was the only thing people could make out. She kept repeating it over and over again.

"Soon Hermione," Annie soothed, "soon you'll see her."

"I need to help her get through this. She needs me. Go sit with her. She needs somebody Annie. Please be with her."

"What about you?" 

"Go be with her. Please," she begged.

"Okay. I'll go," she squeezed Hermione's hand and then made her way back to the NICU, hoping that Hermione's baby girl would make it through long enough for Hermione to see her.

x.:.x.:.x

a/n I really enjoyed this chapter because I got to do a lot of research for it and I'm considering becoming and ob/gyn so yeah I'm interested in this topic. I hope you enjoyed this and reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks for everyone that has sent such amazing reviews. Luv y'all. Cheers.


	5. Good bye

Hermione was propped up in her hospital bed with two hard pillows behind her back. A table was pulled across the bed and a paper cup of water with a bendy straw poking out the top was resting on the otherwise bare surface. She reached for the cup that a Healer had placed there earlier but she'd been to tired to reach for. Her mouth was dry and so she hungrily gulped up the now warm liquid. Usually just the thought of warm water made her want to gag but today she was to preoccupied to care. It had been two days since her babies birth and she was still was unable to see her. Nobody was telling her when she would be finally able to get out of bed. She'd go in a wheelchair if they forced her to, she just wanted to see her baby girl, see if she was okay.

Every so often a Healer, Annie or Dayton would come in and give Hermione an update. Nothing had changed. She was still breathing through a ventilator and her condition was holding. That meant it wasn't getting any worse-but really a new born on a ventilator, how much worse could it get?-but it wasn't getting any better.

The door opened but Hermione didn't look up to see who had come in.

"Hermione," the new addition said.

The voice cause Hermione's head to fly up and her to gasp in shock. It was a voice she hadn't heard in months and hadn't expected to hear in her hospital room, half way around the world.

"Harry," she whispered.

"Merlin, how are you?" he asked, rushing over to her side and hugging her.

She cringed as pain shot through her lower abdomen but she didn't tell Harry.

"You must be an absolute mess. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't ready to," she whispered. Apparently she couldn't bring her voice up to a normal volume. She reached for the cup of water again and downed what was left in the bottom of the cup. It helped a bit, "Who told you?" she asked but new the answer already, who else could it have been?

"Annelyse. She was really worried about you."

"How long are you here for," she asked.

Harry didn't answer right away but after a long sigh he said, "I was considering buying a place here. You know you'll need some help with the baby and I doubt you're interested in returning to England."

The sudden offer shocked and pleased Hermione but then her heart sunk. All that he had said depended on one if. If her baby who she was dying to see would pull through. Then she had an idea, there was no way Annelyse would help her go see her baby but Harry would. He may be reluctant at first but he knew her determination so in the end he would help her.

"Harry I want to see my baby. Will you help me?"

Not answering the question Harry instead replied with a question of his own, "What's her name?"

That was something else that had been tormenting Hermione. She didn't have a clue what to name the precious little being. Nothing seemed right to burden a person with for the rest of their life. After all a name could be the best or worst gift a parent gave their child.

"I'm struggling with that," she admitted.

"I'm sure that when you see her something will just click."

Hermione nodded, "I hope so. That's another reason why I have to see her."

"I'll go get a Healer then," Harry said.

"No!" Hermione cried out, "I...they...they won't let me. Help me, please."

Harry didn't have a chance to make his decision because the door opened and a Healer walked in. She busied herself by doing a quick check to see how Hermione's sutures were doing.

"Could we get a wheelchair in here?" Harry asked, breaking the heavy silence that plagued the room.

"Whatever for?" the Healer asked.

"She'd like to see her daughter."

Hermione shot Harry a deathly glare but he wasn't looking at her.

"She's not well enough to yet," the Healer said shortly. The entire staff was getting tired of Hermione's constant pleas to be able to go into the NICU, "We will let her when she won't be in harms way. We don't want her to open up her wound."

"Bring the wheelchair in then and I'll take her," Harry said.

"Did you not just hear what I said?"

"Oh I heard it. Did you not hear what I just said?"

The Healer was evidently confused and didn't know how to reply to that.

"She would like to see her daughter."

"Who are you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Harry exhaled, he was not used to not being recognized on every street corner. It had been a welcoming change from England but if he had placed that request in England people would have jumped up to help him. Something he had always hated but now if it would help Hermione he was all for, "bring her a wheelchair. Let's just say we're doing this against medical advice."

When the Healer made no move to go and get the medical apparatus.

"Or is she going to have to walk?" Harry demanded. That sent the woman scurrying out of the room. A couple minutes later the Healer returned once more but not pushing a wheelchair. Instead she came with Nancy in tow.

"Hermione," Nancy said.

"I want to see my baby," Hermione said.

"I don't think its wise..."

"Since when has anything I've done wise?"

Harry smiled.

"You could hurt yourself."

"I've done a lot of things that could do more than hurt me. This is the least of my worries."

The bantering between professional and overly anxious mother went back and forth for a couple more minutes. Hermione was obviously feeling better because she wasn't backing down, a fact that both Healer's could see.

"Fine, but you go in a wheelchair and no standing up," Nancy finally gave in.

Hermione relaxed as excitement over swept her. Finally she'd get to meet her baby girl.

It was a struggle for Hermione to get from the bed to the wheelchair and a few times a searing pain would shoot through her lower abdomen but she didn't allow herself even to grimace. It felt like her entire incision was going to tear open again but she wasn't doing this for herself, it was her baby girl that needed her.

Harry pushed the chair down the corridor and the Healer's followed closely behind. The least they could do was to be close by incase anything happened.

At the entrance to the NICU everyone gowned up before they were allowed to enter. Inside Hermione allowed the horribleness of the space overtake her. She'd been staying in the ICU which wasn't pleasant but this was even farther from it. It didn't look like a place where small babies should be spending the first weeks of their lives. The regular nursery Hermione had seen was cozy looking but this what dreary and cold looking. It looked like regular ICU which was by no means fitting for a baby, at least it shouldn't be.

The walls were a light blue but the amount of equipment that crowded the room took away any cheerfulness from the colour.

Hermione was wheeled through the room and passed a number of small premature babies or babies that had other illnesses. Some of the small beings didn't look all that ill to Hermione and she voiced that. The Healers explained to her that there was different sections of a NICU. A critical area where the infants with the most life threatening conditions were and a place for those that needed care but were stable and a place for any baby that was ill and needed more care than a normal nursery could give them but was not deathly sick.

Hermione knew that her baby was not in the later of those places, but the former.

She had prepared herself mentally for the sight that she would see when she finally got to hold her baby but nothing could have prepared her fully for what she saw. Her baby, her beautiful baby girl was lying on her back with tubes attached to her tiny arms and legs and a tube running out of her mouth and one in her nose. If Hermione had been standing her legs would have been unable to support her weight. Even in the chair she felt her legs quivering. This was not how a baby was supposed to live.

"I guess I can't hold her," Hermione said sadly.

"No, you can touch her though," Nancy said.

With a shaking hand Hermione reached out and stroked the baby's head. A sprinkle of hair dusted her head, it was so soft. She was so tiny and her fingers and toes were amazing. Hermione let out a strangled sob and broke down, "Helena," she whimpered. Harry had been right, the name seemed perfect the second she saw her, "oh baby, please, please, please," she kept repeating that one word plea over and over again. There wasn't any other word that seemed fitting for the time that they were in.

Harry rested a hand on her shoulder but made no move to do anything else. He knew that this was Hermione's moment to meet her daughter but also possibly her chance to say good bye.

"Baby girl, please."

It was enough to make even the hardest person cave and let their emotions flow. Harry was no exception.

Hermione pushed herself to exhaustion but she wouldn't allow anybody to take her back to her room. Only when she feel asleep in her chair with her head resting at an odd angle did Harry wheel her back to her room.

The following morning Hermione woke up to see two pairs of eyes staring down at her.

"What's wrong?" she panicked, "Is Helena okay? What happened?"

"Hermione," Annie said.

"Oh god, what?"

"Helena woke up," her grin was contagious. Pretty soon the three of them were laughing and smiling and even a few tears of happiness were shed.

"She's off the ventilator Hermione, she's breathing on her own," Harry exclaimed.

"When did this happen?"

"Right after you fell asleep."

"Why didn't you wake me?" Hermione demanded.

"You were exhausted. We tried to but you wouldn't move."

"I have to see her," this time Nancy didn't protest when she heard Hermione's request.

Two days later Hermione was discharged from the hospital. Three weeks later Helena was deemed healthy enough to make the journey home. It was the happiest day for Hermione to finally be able to hold her little girl without a healer staring down at her disapprovingly like she was going to break her own child.

Because Harry was staying at her house, Annie decided that her moving over was no longer necessary.

It was exhausting being at home and especially difficult because Hermione was still not allowed to lift anything. Thank goodness for Harry.

One evening after Helena had been extremely cranky and hard to put down Hermione sat down on the couch, exhausted, "I can't believe it's been two months. Time goes by so quickly."

"Yeah and she's only two months old. You're going to be a wreck on her first birthday because she's old," Harry joked.

"Harry that's not funny," she scorned, "she could have died. By all medical standards she shouldn't be with me today.

"Hermione," Harry said very unenthusiastically.

"What?" Hermione asked worried, "Did something happen when I was having my shower?"

"No, no every thing's fine," Harry quickly cleared that concern up. Hermione was extremely paranoid that something would happen to her daughter. She downright refused to let Helena out of her sight for the first two weeks that they were home. It took a lot of convincing on Harry's part and even Annie's-she was brought in to try and help mellow out Hermione-before Hermione would go and have a shower without having Harry sit outside the opened door with Helena in his arms.

"What's wrong then, you look upset?"

"I"m just wondering if...if maybe you should tell Malfoy that he has a daughter?"

"What makes you think I'd want to do THAT!" Hermione jumped up out of her seat and screamed, "Why would I...?"

"I'm just saying that I haven't talked to Ginny since you left but if she had my baby I'd like to know about it. I wouldn't want to be the Father that doesn't ever meet his child. Maybe it's not the right thing for you but everything isn't about you anymore. You have to think of Helena. You're not doing this for Malfoy, but for Helena."

"I can't Harry," she said tearing up, "Not now and I don't know if I ever could."

"I'll go with you of course if and when you decide to?"

"Harry please don't," she warned and turned and walked out of the Living room and into her bedroom where she had to hold back from slamming the door. After all she was an adult but also because her daughter was sleeping soundly for once in the next room.

Once in her the safe haven she flopped down onto the bed and curled up into a tight ball. All the lights were off and so the glow from the city cast shadows across the furniture. In the silence she was left to her thoughts. What was the right thing to do? Was what she thought to be right the opposite for Helena? Was Harry right? After coming to Vancouver she'd pushed any thoughts and memories of Draco into the back of her mind. Refusing to allow any emotion to effect her everyday life. To put it simply she had forced herself to become numb. Now with Helena new emotions that she'd never felt were resurfacing.

Helena's screams brought her out of her despair. It was a healthy reminder that her daughter came first now.

Hermione made it into the nursery seconds after Harry. Those precious seconds had allowed Harry to pick the small bundle up out of her crib and begin to rock her back to sleep. It brought tears to Hermione's eyes because it was just another reminder at how one mistake had screwed up both their lives. If Ginny and Draco hadn't got together then Harry would probably be a father in the next year or so. Now that wasn't looking so good for him.

Hermione leaned up against the doorway and watched as Harry moved around the room, gently bouncing Helena as he walked and talked to her. It was a beautiful sight. Suddenly Harry turned around and saw Hermione, "Oh, I didn't know you were standing there. Here," he offered the bundle to Hermione. She knew she should shake her head and allow him to hold the now sleeping baby but she couldn't. She wanted the comfort her warm daughter would give her.

"Thanks Harry," she said accepting the bundle out of his arms. One arm supporting the child's body and head she moved over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Harry left the room, leaving mother and daughter in the glow of the baby light.

An empty bottle was sitting on the change table and the simple sight pained Hermione. She had always wanted to breast feed her kids, both for the experience and for the nutrition it would provide them but she was unable to do so. In the NICU after Helena was strong enough to be fed orally she was immediately introduced to the bottle which she had hungrily accepted. It was a huge disappointment to Hermione after the delight of her daughter's hunger had worn off. Because of her hysterectomy Helena would be her only biological child. If she were to adopt she would not be able to nurse them.

Hermione had always wanted to have more kids but now that was not going to happen. It was a horrible feeling to her that she would miss Helena's first step, her first smile, her first word and never get to experience that delight again. That was another one of the reason's she didn't allow her daughter to venture to far from her. It would be a nightmare for her when in ten months time she would have to return to work. A lot could be missed during forty hours of away time in a week.

Her eyelids began to droop as her own rocking began to put herself to sleep. Fighting back against the urge to sleep in the chair she pulled herself to her feet and padded over to the wooden crib. She placed Helena down on the mattress and kissed her goodnight. Her baby smell wafting up into Hermione's nostrils. It was a comforting smell.

Out in the main part of the apartment Hermione saw that Harry had disappeared into her guest room, where he had set up his stuff while she was still in the hospital.

Before heading back to her bedroom for the evening Hermione made a detour into the kitchen. She was starving, she'd missed supper because of Helena's fussiness. A sandwich was the quickest thing she could think of and so she gathered the items and set them out on the counter. Bread, condiments, cheese and meat. A glass of juice and an apple out of the fruit bowl later she sat down on one of the bar stools and began to eat.

Wiping her crumbs away Hermione washed the glass, plate and knives and then headed off to bed where she hoped but didn't expect to get a full night sleep. After all what two month old slept through the night?

x.:.x.:.x

a/n same as always thanks for reading, hope you liked it and please review. :) cheers.


	6. Children Know

"You have got to be kidding me!"

Hermione walked out of her bedroom to see her baby girl hovering three feet above the ground, supported only by a flimsy stick. If she could have run without tripping over the piles of laundry, toys, books and paperwork that managed to accumulate like dust on the floors, tables and every other available space she would have snatched the precious child off the dangerous contraption. Instead she had to settle for the next best thing, screaming at Harry to get her baby girl safely to the ground.

It had been four and a half years since they'd walked out of the hospital, praising everyone for the miracle of her daughters amazing recovery. Although she had shown no signs of any permanent damage from her brush with death, Hermione was always worried one would pop up. And because of this she had already become the over protective parent that she swore she'd never be. She almost felt sorry for her four year old who already was experiencing the effects of her mother's protectiveness.

"Mama," the high pitched squeal, only a young girl could emit bounced throughout the apartment. Hermione had to bight her tongue as the small child jumped off the broomstick before it had even touched the ground. She was a handful, that was for sure. Hermione figured that the days of controlling and monitoring her daughter's every move were numbered.

"You're going to have quite the Quidditch Player on your hand here," Harry said.

"Really?" Hermione said, trying to hide her fear from her daughter, who at the moment was ignoring the junk cluttering the floor as she bolted across the room and into her mother's outstretched arms.

"Mama, Mama, did you see me? I was flying!"

"Did Uncle Harry get you the broom?"

"YES!"

"Oh really," the note of concern went unnoticed by the overly excitable four year old but not by the raven haired man who had found himself a seat on the edge of the love-seat.

"I hope you don't mind," Harry said, "I just wanted to be the first one to introduce her to flying. It's harmless, the broom doesn't go much higher than you saw. It's charmed for safety."

"And that's supposed to make me feel so much better is it?" she snapped.

"Well, Hermione...."

"Don't Hermione me. Just don't get me started," she held up her hand as she proceeded to turn away from the battle ground that had taken over her living room, "we'll talk about this later," she didn't have to add, away from curious little ears.

"Mama, is Uncle Harry sleeping over again?"

Hermione squeezed her eyes tightly closed and took a deep breath. Apparently they hadn't been as secretive as they'd tried. Opening her eyes, Hermione glanced across the room to see Harry with his head in his hands, shaking with laughter. If he would have seen it she would have sent him a glare that would have put an end to his amusement. Instead she had try to explain to a child why her 'uncle' who had bought an apartment only two buildings away was spending so many nights at their place.

After Helena started sleeping through the night Harry decided that it was probably for the best if he found his own place, but one not to far away incase he was needed. The day he moved out Hermione couldn't push away the overwhelming sense of loneliness and despair. At first she brushed it off as simply not being used to having no adult conversation for days at a time but as the months passed and Helena grew older, Hermione realized it wasn't just the lack of a man in her life that made her lonely, but the lack of a specific man. And so they started to see more of each other. Harry who had found a job at a large broomstick manufactures Head Office, began stopping by after his shift ended, even when he knew Helena was down for the night.

The two old friends would share a glass of wine. Talk about Harry's work, the cute thing Helena did that day, or the new Minister for Magic in England. As time progressed the conversations became more meaningful and deep, and they sat closer and closer together on the couch until one night Hermione stood up, reached for Harry's hand and led him into her bedroom. With a soft click of the door there was no turning back. And nor would they have wanted to.

One thing they had tried to do though, and thought they were succeeding at was keeping their budding relationship from the curious Helena. Apparently 4 year olds were way more intuitive than either of them could have predicted.

"No, I probably should be getting back to my place. I'm pretty tired," with that Harry faked a huge yawn and a stretch which made Helena giggle uncontrollably, "well, aren't you going to give your poor Uncle a hug?"

She didn't need to be told twice. Faster than either of them could have ever run with legs three times the length of hers she ran back across the room and was scooped up by Harry. It wasn't a hug though that he gave her, instead he began to tickle her. She squirmed and squealed, trying to break free but her tiny body was no match for a full grown man.

Coming to her rescue Hermione said, "Okay I think it's bed time. Go brush your teeth. I have to talk to Uncle Harry about something."

At the mention of bed Helena slowed right down, dragging her feet all the way to the bathroom.

"If I come in there and don't see much brushing happening, I'm going to unleash the evil dragon's on you," Hermione called.

That resulted in a little squeak and an acceleration of pace.

Hermione was about to turn around and face Harry but she wasn't fast enough because he'd wrapped his arms around her and started to tickle her. Trying to hold back a scream as to not alert Helena about what was happening, Hermione bit down on Harry's shoulder and muffled her yelp. The cotton of his cloak prevented any damage from occurring, except for giving Harry an idea that she wasn't quite ready for.

"How long will she be?" he questioned her, raising an eyebrow only slightly, but enough for Hermione to break out in a fit of giggles not unlike the ones she'd heard minutes ago coming from a child thirty years her junior.

"No," Hermione protested, "we can't."

Not wanting to take no for an answer he tried to walk her back into her bedroom but she put the brakes on and pushed back against him. That was enough to make him stop in his tracks, "Fine I get it. You don't want to do this."

"Thank you."

Before they could say any more the bathroom door opened and out walked a grinning blond haired child. Sometimes when Hermione saw her, her heart would skip a beat. She looked so much like her father who incidentally Hermione had heard nothing about for nearing five years. She knew that as she got older the resemblance was bound to grow as her innocent little baby's face thinned out. She could already see that she would someday acquire the pointed features that her father wore so well. She was really going to be a beauty.

"I'll be back later," Harry whispered to her before he waved to Helena and said his good nights.

"What do you say to Uncle Harry for getting you the broomstick?"

"Thank you Uncle Harry," she cooed.

"Okay now off to bed, go pick out a story," and more quietly to Harry, "you have your key," it was not so much a question but a statement.

He nodded and then silently apparated away. Hermione then proceeded in after Helena who was bouncing around. It was not going to be an easy task getting her to settle down.

As mother and daughter curled up on the small bed which held all the stuffed animals Helena held so close to her heart, Helena said something that Hermione had been dreading for four and a half years, "Mommy, is Uncle Harry my Daddy?"

Great, how was she going to explain that one?

xxx.:.x.

a/n Okay you guys asked for it and it just seemed to fit so there you have it, a little HP/HG. Anyway I guess this is the point where I apologize for taking so long to update and then having such a short chapter. I'm not wonderful with long chapters as you prob. know and I've had major writers block lately so I think I'm just going to go back to my short chapters which will hopefully result in more updates. Wahoo right? So please review if you're still hanging on or if you've just found the story, or even reviewing for the first time. And I thank you. Cheers


	7. A Mother Should Know

"Mommy, is Uncle Harry my Daddy?"

The simple question that should have been innocent enough tore open wounds that Hermione had thought had healed over. Like a wave had crashed into her, sending her reeling, trying to find the safest and easiest way out of the predicament. How was she supposed to answer that question to an adult? Something she had chickened out on by fleeing half way around the world. But a child, her child, how was she going to explain it to a four year old?

The easiest answer she could come up with was to brush it off. Ignore the question, continue on with their bedtime ritual as if nothing had happened, but she couldn't bring herself to do that. It was hard enough to deny the sweet little child the truth at such a young age, especially when the consequences would be much worse. Trying to explain to an angsty teen why her mother had lied to her for her entire life was not high up on Hermione's To-do list. With that in mind Hermione sighed, stared up at the ceiling which she had decorated with magical stars that glowed lightly and gave in. Now was the time to do it.

"Mama?" Helena repeated the question, assuming her mother hadn't heard it.

"No sweetie," Hermione sighed, "Harry isn't your Daddy."

"Who is my Daddy then, and where is he?" it was evident, the panic rising in the innocent child's eyes, "Do I have a Daddy?"

"Of course you have a Daddy," Hermione quickly comforted the child, "your Daddy just doesn't live here."

"Why?" there it was, that fateful question that all children asked, why?

"Because, a long time ago he did some really bad things and I couldn't be around him any more."

"Like took your toys?"

"Something like that," then figuring she would still understand she added, "he stole my best friend."

"Like Maya?"

"Yes, just like Maya," the girl that Helena played with who lived two floors down and was also from a wizard family.

Wanting to end the painful conversation Hermione leaned down and kissed Helena on the tip of the nose, making the girl squeal out with delight.

"Now it's bedtime."

"Goodnight Mama."

"Goodnight Helena," she whispered as she stepped out of the room and softly closed the door. Making her way back into the living room she flicked her wand at the clutter. Sending books flying across the room to their rightful places on the floor-to-ceiling bookcases that lined the far right wall around the mantle. A quick drying spell cleaned up the narrowly avoided disaster of a spilled class of water next to a pile of important files. Objects zoomed around over her head and five minutes later, one day's worth of upheaval had been repaired. It was at times like this that Hermione was truly thankful for magic. She was exhausted enough as it was, she couldn't imagine having to do all the tidying up by hand.

Sitting down with a glass of wine in her favourite chair next to the window, Hermione admired the view of the downtown core with all it's lights twinkling and muggle cars jamming the streets. She stared off in the general direction of English Bay and decided that if the weather was nice she'd take Helena for a walk down at the beach the following morning. Maybe Annie would be interested in tagging along?

She must have dozed off because she didn't hear Harry apparate into the apartment, nor did she hear him as he pulled the spilled wine glass out of her tight grasp and cleaned up the puddle on the floor. Although she did stir when she felt the arm of the chair sag under an added weight.

"You came," she murmured.

"Of course," he whispered back to her, "but I can see you're to exhausted. I'll help you to bed."

Before she could protest he had picked her and started to walk her to her bedroom. When he laid her down on the fluffy comforter Hermione said, "Hold me Harry, please."

He did as he was told and climbed up beside her and pulled her close to him. She turned and kissed him on the lips, down his neck, pulled back his collar and kissed along his collarbone.

"Hermione?"

"Shh," she mumbled between kisses and pulling off her shirt, "not now."

xxx.:.x.

Hermione woke up in the arms of Harry before dawn and gently nudged him awake. It wouldn't be to long before Helena woke and came scurrying in to ensure that her mother was also awake, and alone was how Hermione wanted to be found.

Sure enough just as Harry apparated away, the door creaked open and in crept Helena, trying to be sneaky, but failing horribly. Hermione tried to hide her smile as her daughter poked, prodded and climbed all over her. Then without any warning she jumped up, sending Helena screaming backwards with fear that quickly morphed into giggles of delight.

"What are we doing today Mommy?" she said as she bounced on her knees on the bed.

"Well, I was thinking we'd sit around and count all the tiles in the apartment."

"No!" a squeal was all that was needed to show her displeasure.

"You're kidding, you don't want to do that?"

Helena shook her head, her blond hair bobbing against her cheeks as she did so.

"Well, then, whatever did you have in mind?"

Helena bit down on her bottom lip as she thought about it, finally coming up with a simple, "Play."

"I was going to the beach today, but since you simply want to play I guess I'll have to go alone."

That caused the reaction Hermione was hoping for, and an hour later along side Annie, Dayton and Harry, they headed down to the beach.

The summer crowds were gone from the sandy beach but the path that travelled the length of English Bay, all the way back to Stanley Park was crowded with early morning joggers, cyclists and parents, pushing crying infants in strollers or toddlers on tricycles.

At the sight of the cold surf, Helena detached herself from her mother's hand and sprinted through the sand, kicking up a large pile of sand in her wake. Annie took off after her and picked her up just before she made it to the water, "Let's roll up your pants, you don't want to get ooey, gooey, soggy pants."

"No," Helena squealed in delight of all the attention that was cast in her direction. Everyone was dressed as muggles, they had to be but Hermione noticed a few couples she knew from work walking along the beach. Some of them it appeared had a tough time determining what was fashionable in the muggle world. Because of that their green velvet pants and Hawaiian printed shirts were attracting a lot of peoples attention and laughter.

Thankfully they weren't dressed as horribly as some of their fellow wizards. Since Harry and herself had grown up as muggles they'd never had a problem of dressing to blend in. Annie and Dayton struggled sometimes, but with the help of their friends, the two purebloods now seemed to make some pretty good wardrobe choices.

Helena that day was wearing a cute little pair of jeans, which had embroidered flowers trailing up the left leg, and a purple jacket which was Hermione's favourite. It was cool and October so as always there was a promise of rain. Something that living in London, Hermione had become accustom to. She knew that it rained a lot in Vancouver, by Canadian standards and that Vancouverites complained about it. All she could say was go spend a summer in England's largest city.

"Ahh, Hermione," Annie's voice pulled Hermione out of her thoughts.

"What?"

"Did something happen to Helena's legs?"

"No, what are you talking about?"

"Come look."

Hermione rushed over, because the panic in Annie's voice was evident. She knelt down beside her daughter and gasped when she saw the state of her legs, "my god," she murmured under her breath.

"Didn't you know about them? You had to have seen them?"

"No, she dressed herself this morning and last night. And I know for certain they weren't there yesterday morning when I gave her a bath."

"Did she run into something?"

"No, she hasn't done anything like that in a while. Besides, it her entire leg, and both of them for that matter."

They had caught Harry and Dayton's attention, and they were making their way towards them.

"What's going on?"

"Is everything okay?"

"No, we're going to Armestine's, something's not right," Hermione said.

"Are you sure you want to go to the hospital? She could have just fallen and you not have known."

"Know, this isn't normal. Come on," when nobody moved she added, "fine, go home. I'll see you later. Come on Helena."

A slightly confused Helena tagged after her mother, disappointed that their fun at the beach had been cut so severally short but she knew better than to question her mother's intentions. It wasn't until they were back up on the road did Hermione realize that her three friends had caught up to them.

"Let's get this thing checked out," Harry said.

"Thank you," Hermione whispered, "I know something isn't right. The only thing is, why didn't I sense it sooner?"

If only she knew how right she was.

xxx.:.x.

a/n Do you guys know how much I appreciate your reviews? Never did I expect to get any reviews after how long I was gone for. Anyway thank you so, so much and please keep it up.


	8. Accusations

Children wailed, parents grumbled at the long waits and the horrible smell of burnt flesh drifted across the crowded waiting room from the petite blonde witch who was clutching her charred hand at the admittance desk.

After one glance at the crowded hospital, Dayton had said he'd be waiting at home. After all it was no use he hung around. He'd tried to get Harry to tag along with him, but it didn't look like he was going to have any luck until he stood up to leave and Hermione turned to Harry and urged him to head home.

Helena had huddled up in the one corner where a collection of toys and children's books had been placed.

"Hey Helena, do you want to pick out a story book and we'll go through it together?" Annie asked.

Eagerly Helena flipped through all of the books until she found that she wanted to hear aloud and then she made her way back to the two adult witches. Handing off the book to Annie, she then climbed up onto her mother's lap and cuddled into the crook of her arm.

As Annie flipped through the pages, reading as she went, Helena pointed out to the pictures she specifically liked. By the time they were three quarters of the way through the book, Hermione felt Helena's breathing slow as she drifted off into a peaceful sleep. It still amazed Hermione every time she saw her daughter fall asleep in such a chaotic atmosphere that she could actually settle down enough and block out the drama to fall asleep.

Shifting slightly to reposition Helena, Hermione felt her arms become overwhelmed by a tingling sensation as the blood surged back down to her hands.

Annie had closed the book and walked it back to it's storage container and was making her way back when the welcome witch called out that it was now their turn to see the Healer. Hermione stood up and bounced Helena around to her hip and nodded to Annie who said she'd await there for them.

Helena didn't even stir until until she was laid down on the exam table and Hermione stood over her protectively to ensure she didn't roll and tumble off the edge.

"What can I do for you ladies today?" the young Healer who looked like he should not even be out of school asked.

"Well, we were down at the beach and my friend rolled up her pants so she could dip her feet in the water and noticed that there was a lot of bruising up both her legs. And the thing is I don't know how it could have happened."

"And you didn't notice this before this morning?" he asked in a tone that instantly made Hermione dislike him. It was like he was implying that she was not a good mother for not noticing something like that sooner.

"No, it's not that I didn't notice it, it simply wasn't there. I gave her a bath yesterday morning and she's been dressing herself the last few weeks all by herself, so no I didn't know about it. Besides there is no way this could just be from an accident. It's no bump from running into a stool or taking a tumble. It's something more. I know something's not right."

The Healer stepped towards the table and waited as Hermione rolled up Helena's pant legs. The disturbing yellow and purple bruises that covered her daughters legs almost made her sick. How could this happen to her little girl? What had done this, because Hermione knew for certain it was not a matter of who?

It became evident quite quickly that the young Healer didn't believe that as much as Hermione did. More specifically he believed the culprit to be standing in the room.

"Ms. Granger," he began, "If you would just sit tight, I'll be back in a minute."

"Are you kidding me," she cursed under her breath after the door had closed behind him, "this is absolutely ridiculous."

Ten minutes later the door opened again and the Healer walked in, but he wasn't alone this time. An older plump looking witch was following, with a folder in her hand. She made her way to the small desk and opened up her folder, unscrewed a bottle of ink and pulled a quill out of her briefcase. It was blatantly obvious that this woman was not a Healer, and although she probably did have Helena's well-being at heart, it definitely wasn't for the right reason.

"Are you going to perform some tests to find out what's wrong with my daughter?" Hermione pressed.

"Ms. Granger, I just have a few questions for you."

"Okay."

"Firstly, have you ever been diagnosed with..."

"This is about my daughter right?"

"Yes, of course. As I was saying, have you or anyone you know."

"This is absolutely ridiculous," Hermione cried out in anger and frustration. The change in her tone caused Helena to stir and sit up, "Mommy?" she asked, drowsy and scared she hurled herself at her mother who gratefully picked her up and cuddled her close.

"Ms. Granger?" the woman said warningly.

"I'm sorry I don't even know your name, but really this is completely unnecessary. I would never hurt my daughter, I love her and I almost lost her. She means everything to me and if you can't see that there's something horribly wrong with her than I don't know where either of you got your training from. All I know is that you might really want to reconsider what you accuse people of. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go find a Healer who honestly believes that something is not right, and will perform the necessary tests instead of dawdling, wasting time while who knows what causes more harm to my daughter. Good day and honestly I hope to never lay eyes on either of you again. It's nothing personal. Come on honey, let's go meet Annie."

Helena reached for her Mother's hand and followed her out of the small room in search of Annie. Nobody knew how grateful she was that Helena had slept through that horrid ordeal.

xxx.:.x.

a/n You guys have actually got me enjoying writing again as well as coming up with new ideas randomly. Darn what was that wonderful idea I had for a one-shot. Well, I guess I'll just have to stick with this story then. Oh you guys aren't happy about it, are you? You want me to disappear again. Sorry you're stuck with me for now. Okay so I really love your reviews and I'm thoroughly pleased with the conflict the whole H/Hr thing has brought up. Even as I'm writing this I really don't know what I'm going to do with that relationship. It was never planned to happen, it just kinda fell into place and so I'm working with it. You'll have to wait and see just as much as I will so for any of you that aren't pleased with the relationship I urge you to keep reading, you never know how things will turn out. Please review. Cheers


	9. Connections

The hardest thing to do that night for Hermione was fall asleep. Two things plagued her brain, the well-being of her daughter and how was she supposed to find somebody to look beyond child abuse to find the culprit for the damage.

The following morning after a meagre two hours of sleep Hermione rolled out of bed and into the shower. An hour later she apparated to work. By lunch time she'd managed to get no work done, a huge problem because at three o'clock she had a major meeting to attend where she was also presenting. Currently the only prep she had done was a few note cards. Figuring she was in no state of mind to concentrate, she pushed away from her desk and headed out for lunch. In the elevator she was joined by a colleague who she was quite friendly with.

"Morning Hermione, or is it afternoon?" after a quick glance at his watch he nodded that it indeed was still morning, "heading out early are you today?" he chuckled and Hermione found herself smiling. He had a way of doing that to her.

"No, just coffee. You should join me?" she suggested.

"Well, I...wait a pretty girl asking me out for coffee, everything else can wait."

Hermione would have been offended if any other colleague had addressed her like he had but she was fine when he did it.

"Tony, you're making me blush," she joked back to him.

"That's my job baby, that's my job."

The reason Hermione was fine with Tony's seemingly insulting-or flattering-jibes was because they'd tried the whole dating thing and then realized that they would make better friends than lovers. They'd managed to sever the intimacy without shredding their friendship and for that Hermione was extremely grateful. Tony was one person she could turn to at work, she was so glad she didn't lose that.

After they'd picked up a coffee from one of the muggle chain coffee shops they sat down in the armchairs off to one side in the shop and sipped away at their frothy, high cal but delicious drinks.

"I don't know how you drink that sweet junk," Tony commented on Hermione's choice of drink.

"What, my white chocolate mocha is not sweet junk, it's delicious. I don't know how you stomach that strong espresso without a ton of chocolate."

"Because unlike you, I like my coffee for the coffee. You on the other hand are-"

"A tea granny, what can I say, I'm British."

"Couldn't have said it better myself."

As they continued to joke back and forth Hermione felt a bit of her stress lessen, but not nearly enough until an idea hit her and she cut off Tony in mid sentence, "Your Dad was a Healer wasn't he?"

"Yeah, but he's retired now. Why?"

"Do you think he'd take a look at something for a friend of his son's?" she prayed that he would, but prepared for a curt no.

"I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem with it. May I ask what it's about?"

"You can and I'll save you the trouble of asking again. I'm worried about Helena, within 24 hours she went from being fine to having her legs completely covered in bruises. I took her into the hospital yesterday and all I got told was that I was a good candidate for being a child abuser. They didn't even bother to look at any other cause of the bruising, medical or injury. I'm just so confused and stressed. I can't take her back there, they'll probably arrest me but I don't know where else to go. I know something's not right," she broke down and the tears pooled around her eyes spilled over and trickled elegantly down her cheeks.

"He wouldn't have a problem with it."

"Would you ask him though and make sure I'm not inconveniencing him?"

"Let's go pick up Helena now and take her over."

"I can't, I've got to get back to work. I have a meeting this afternoon-"

"Hermione, you owe them nothing. If you tell them your daughter's sick they have to understand."

He was right, too right. Who was she putting her job in front of her daughter. She always swore she'd never do that and criticized those women that were entirely married to their careers.

After they returned to work to say there was a family emergency that they had to attend to they picked up Helena at day care and from there, Flooed to Tony's father's place. The house was a modest size house on a quite little street, so small you could probably call it a country lane. They were the only house around that Hermione could see from looking out the window's.

"Where are we?" she asked, it was quite apparent though that they were nowhere near the city.

"The middle of nowhere, or paradise. Take your pick."

"They both seem fitting, but geographically where are we?"

"Again the middle of nowhere, but the closest location that you will know is probably-" he was cut off though by the entrance of a tall, white haired man who looked exactly like his son.

"I thought I heard somebody come in," he commented, "oh my, you've brought me the mother of my grand kids have you? You sure picked a good one," he also possessed the same sense of humour that his son held.

"Hermione Granger," Hermione extended her hand to shake the older Healer's hand, "and I'm sorry to disappoint you but the whole relationship thing didn't work out for us."

The man chuckled and then introduced himself as Anthony.

"Yeah, that's why I'm Tony," Tony said when he saw Hermione's brief second of surprise.

"Oh so it's a family name then."

It wasn't a question but Tony nodded and then turned to his father and said, "Hermione had some problem's at Armestine's with getting something diagnosed and I told her that you would have no problem taking a look at her daughter."

A bit embarrassed by Tony's frankness, Hermione added, "If you don't want to that's okay, or if this isn't a good time just let us know and we'll go," her mother raised her right and she hadn't lost her manners.

"Don't be silly, what else do I have to do. So where's this little child?"

"Helena?" Hermione called to her daughter who had run over to the window as soon as they had arrived and hadn't unstuck herself until she was called.

Following Anthony's instructions, Hermione boosted Helena up unto the kitchen counter. A place where Anthony said the natural light was the best. She then rolled up Helena's pants and stepped out of the way. A sharp intake of breath on Anthony and Tony's parts was all the conformation that Hermione needed to tell her that her fears were not meaningless.

"Has she been overly tired lately?" Anthony asked.

"No," Hermione quickly replied but then when she thought about it she had to correct herself, "well she's had a cold. Or what I thought to be a cold. Just really lethargic and moody but every kid gets sick. It's the season for it after all?"

"Hermione I can run a couple of spells and check out a few things for you."

"Oh thank you," Hermione said even though thank you didn't even begin to show her appreciation for what the man was doing.

Ten minutes later after they'd shooed Helena outside to play in the huge grassy meadow which she'd been eyeing since their arrival, the three adults sat down around the dining table. Hermione faced the window so she could watch Helena sprint around in the grass with only herself for entertainment. It was all a four year old needed though apparently to entertain them. Who said expensive toys were necessary, obviously only city parents.

"Hermione, I have to tell you that you're going to have to go back to Armestine's."

'Why?"

"I'll go with you of course. A couple of the test I performed came back positive-"

"For what?"

"First I would just like to apologize for anything that was told to you at the hospital. Any half decent healer should have realized there was more to your daughter's condition than what they made it out to be."

"Her condition?" Tony questioned this time.

"Yes, Helena's running a decreased platelet count along with a low hemoglobin level, which in English means she has not enough red blood cells. Along with all that her normal white blood cells aren't as high as I'd like them to be."

"But what does that mean?"

"Helena's showing common symptoms of childhood leukaemia. I'd like you to go back to the city and to the hospital and I'll go with you. There is a few more tests that need to be run but I'd like to warn you-"

"But it could not be that right?" Hermione said through her tears, "right? You said you have to run more tests, that means you don't know for certain. It could be something else?" but her gut was telling her that he was right. That that was why she'd felt the looming cloud of doom hanging over their head the last day.

"Hermione, it is possible that those tests are wrong, but the odds of that are astronomical. It almost never happens with those results. They are so far away from normal levels that leukaemia is not only the most logical conclusion but also the most probable."

As much as Hermione wanted to deny it and say it wasn't true, thirty minutes later they were Flooing back to the hospital waiting room, but this time, accompanied by a Healer who knew what he was doing.

"I'd like to see Healer Morn," Anthony said to the Welcome Witch.

"Of course Healer Monazila, I'll be back in a minute."

Connections, that's all it took.

xxx.:.x.

a/n Hope you like it. Thanks for the reviews and please keep it up.


	10. Reality

After Helena got looked over by Healer Morn, Anthony took him outside and talked to the Healer beyond a silenced door. All that was left for Hermione to do was play I Spy with Helena, a very muggle game but what else was there to do with an incredibly bored, frustrated and exhausted four year old. After Anthony and the Healer returned into the exam room and Healer Morn proceeded to apologize for anything his interns might have done that he was unaware of. He as the head of the department wished to apologize on behalf of all of his staff.

Hermione thanked him for the apology but she didn't feel any better. Her daughter had cancer, leukaemia. Although it was one of the most common childhood cancers it was still incurable even in the wizarding world. That was one thing that if discovered would not be kept from the muggles. Everyone, no matter their race, gender or abilities should have to suffer from such a merciless killer. Whoever put an end to it's rampages, wizard or muggle alike would be hailed as the next saviour.

It appeared that there would be little rest for the two Granger's as they were instantly thrown into the battle saving little Helena. After a thorough consultation with the oncologist in the hospital Hermione learned that Helena's type of cancer was called Acute Lymphocytic Leukaemia commonly referred to ALL. It was the most common type of childhood leukaemia over its counter part Acute Myeloid Leukaemia or AML. Initially that gave Hermione a hint of relief, then she felt guilty. She shouldn't be happy at a time like this and when she mentioned this to the man sitting before her, he said it was perfectly natural. After all she'd just be burdened with something no human being should have to deal with so it was only natural that she tried to find comfort in little things. It made sense to her. After all if Helena had the most common form of cancer it would mean that the Healers had played witness to it more often, knew what to expect and hopefully had some better treatments to get her daughter in to remission.

In a matter of a couple of hours Hermione learned more about everything medical than she had ever wanted to learn since their last stay in hospital. Something she had never wanted to repeat. If only it was her who was ill and not her precious innocent daughter. The world was a cruel place where it allowed children with their whole lives ahead of them to have to spend even an afternoon in a hospital ward.

Two days later Helena began her first treatment. A mixture of potions, spells and just plain muggle medicine, primarily chemotherapy. The one thing Hermione was dreading most. The magical remedies had been treated with an anti-side effect spell and so they would work towards keeping Helena acting and feeling normal. Chemo on the other hand would tear everything that Hermione knew about her daughter apart. She would become increasing tired, physically sick-something that made Hermione sick to her stomach to think of her baby that ill- and eventually the loss of her gorgeous white blond ringleted hair. That was selfishly probably one of the worst things Hermione could think to happen. The poor child didn't have to go through enough but to loose her beautiful locks. To have them just fall out, strand by strand at first but then rapidly transitioning into clumps. Leaving grotesque patches hair and ultimately nothing.

When the day came that Hermione had to decide over patches or shaving her daughters head the decision was not made by her. Instead her daughter piped up after seeing the clump of hair that Hermione had tried to discreetly pull off her babies pillow without her noticing after she got up to go into the children's common room that she didn't want it anymore. It could all leave, right then.

Twenty minutes later with Helena sitting on the counter in the small adjoining bathroom, Hermione pulled out her wand and took a deep breath. Helena wanted this, she had to remind herself over and over again as she flicked her wand across her daughters head. It didn't take all of two minutes for the gorgeous curls that Hermione wished she had to fall to the floor. Without looking she muttered a clean up spell and the hair disappeared before she gave it a second of consideration. Once done Helena turned around and looked into the mirror. A look of fear briefly crossed her face but then she quickly masked it with a smile, "Thanks Mommy."

Those two words were all it took for a lump to rise in Hermione's throat and she had to stifle a sob. Her baby was so strong, there was no way she could break down now, "Do you want me to find you a scarf or a hat?" she gulped.

"No, I'm going to go show Hayden," she squirmed off the counter and then thought better of running out of the room. Her energy to put it simply wasn't what it just to be, "Can I Mom?"

"Sure honey, tell Hayden hi for me will you?"

Helena nodded and made her way out into the corridor and two doors down to young Hayden who was mature beyond his six years. Cancer had a way of doing that to children. It seemed that the children had accepted what was happening long before their parents ever would. Some would say, including Hermione only a few months before that it was only because they didn't understand. Now Hermione knew that that wasn't true. These beautiful children understood completely. They knew what the consequence was of not taking their medication and understood the medical jargon better at 5 then any second year intern did. These kids could accept what was happening. They didn't understand why it had to be them but they never questioned why they had been chosen to bear such a heavy burden.

Hayden was no exception. Hermione had learned that Hayden had been given less than a month to live a week ago. She as a mother had tried to gently sever Helena's ties with her little friend while they still could and Hermione desperately tried to keep the harsh news of Hayden's prognosis a secret but Helena quickly found out. It had only drawn her closer to the bed ridden boy. By the fourth day Hermione had to admit defeat and allow Helena to make the most of her last days with Hayden. After all they were numbered. The worse thing for Hermione was that she didn't want Helena to have to go through the loss of a good friend but when she discussed that with the Healers they comforted her and told her it was just how things work here. Some kids didn't make it and it would hurt the children more who survived and those that didn't if they were segregated and abandoned by the others.

And so Helena showed off her newly shaved head with a grin to the frail Hayden who looked to small in his adult issue bed. They laughed and joked because that was all that Hayden had left. His humour he had not allowed to be taken from him as he fought his two year battle. Even up until his last evening he was still cracking jokes and making fun of the Healers who came in at regular intervals to increase his meds as his last hours drifted to a close. It was getting late but Hermione was unable to pry Helena away from her friends bedside and the Healers weren't enforcing their usual curfew for the young patient. They knew that the end was there.

At a quarter past ten Hayden whispered to Helena to come closer and she obliged. And now out of earshot of any adults he whispered something into the ears of another child who had the misfortune to suffer the ravaging disease. As Hermione carried Helena back to her room a little after midnight she couldn't hold back the tears. Helena noticed her mother's sadness and wrapped her arms around her neck and without a hint of a tear murmured, "Mommy, he had to go. This was not the life for him."

As much as Helena's words had been meant as a comfort they were exactly the opposite, "Did he tell you that baby?"

"Yes."

"What else did he tell you?"

"Just something a friend of his once told him. It's okay Mommy."

After tucking the child into bed Hermione sighed, she was getting smaller every day. Outside in the corridor Hermione clicked the door close and sank down the wall and only then did she cry. For the loss of such an amazing little guy who should have experienced life more than just his 6 years, 2 of which were spent in and out of hospital. She also cried for her daughters well being, Helena's strength which she could only wish she had part of and the stark truth that nobody was safe. Everybody's day came at some point that they had to leave this world, to go where nobody knew but that should only happen when you were old, grey and had enjoyed everything you could dream of. Not when you hadn't even received your first wand. There was so much for these children to live for. They would and could have everything they wanted, if only life hadn't dealt them a fatal hand.

xxx.:.x.

a/n So this chappie jumps forward in time a bit, hope you aren't to confused or emotion for that matter. Thanks for all the reviews I love them. Please keep them up :)


	11. Home

They'd promised her that she'd have the best possible care. That she was in the best place for her west of the Rockies, some even said west of Toronto. Hermione didn't know, she just was supposed to trust them but she couldn't. Maybe it was just her exhaustion and paranoia getting to her, or maybe it was her Mother's instinct but she had a feeling something wasn't right. It kept going back to their original treatment at the hospital. By this point she'd come to accept and understand the Healers reasoning behind his accusations. The thing she wasn't comfortable with was his lack of follow up. He'd never examined Helena, whether it was for abuse or a medical ailment. Even when she'd protested and pulled Helena out of the room he didn't follow up. It hinted that they weren't exactly thorough.

Unexpectedly thoughts of a far of country began to resurface at the strangest times. When she was bathing in the small bathroom adjoining Helena's room or playing little games with her daughter to get her through a tough treatment, thoughts of England began poking into her thoughts. Places and people that she'd pushed aside so many years before came tumbling back, making her really think.

It didn't take her long to realize what she had to do and she decided she'd run it by Harry.

Harry had ventured in for his daily visit, to find Helena curled up around her favourite stuffed bear and Hermione snoring in the armchair. Her head was rolled to the side and resting at an odd angle against the winged back of the chair. She sensed the presence of someone though because she cracked her eyes open. Rolling her neck around to get out the kinks, Harry couldn't help but notice that her face had been imprinted by the textured fabric of the chair.

Hermione did the motherly thing first and checked to make sure all was well with Helena before she turned to Harry. It was evident that she had been crying now that he looked at her more closely.

"Oh honey," he pulled her close the him and wrapped his arms around her. She curled up now that she had somebody to support her and all but gave up for the time being.

"I'm taking Helena back to England," she said simply but dry eyed this time.

Bless him, he didn't argue with her, question her or try to convince her in any way, shape or form that what she was doing was a bad idea. Instead he nodded and comforted her.

They both had their reasons in thinking it was a good idea. Hermione was looking out for her daughters care, believing St Mungo's would be much more fitting place for Helena to be. Harry didn't argue because he knew that it would be painful for Hermione to return to her old life, but if the worst was to happen it would be beneficial to her to be close to her parents.

For the last three months since Hayden's death things had gone downhill. Helena had begun to react horribly to her treatments. People had told her that that was a good thing. That the children that didn't suffer through treatment, didn't have the intended results from that treatment. It had done little to comfort Hermione.

"When are you going to go?" he asked her.

"As soon as I can get things straightened out here. I guess I'll deal with the apartment later. I've already quit my job, so that's easy enough. I'll just pack what we need for the time being. Later when things aren't as bad I'll come back and collect the rest of the stuff from the apartment," neither of them commented on this. There was two was this could go and only one way in which they wanted it to. Neither of them questioned what she would do if Helena didn't get better. If she slowly deteriorated and Hermione couldn't get away for months or even years, or if she rapidly went down hill and succumbed to the cancer. Hermione didn't know which way was worse. If she was to be selfish she'd say the former, where she'd get to have a little bit longer with her baby girl. That wasn't fair to Helena though for her to have to go through all that pain and anguish dragged out over a long period of time. She couldn't think about this, she pushed the horrible thoughts away. Not now, not ever! Helena was going to pull through. She was a strong child, with an iron will. Not unlike her mother, or her father for that matter.

"Just tell me what you want me to do," Harry urged her, "I'm with you here."

"Thank you Harry," she mumbled, "you don't realize how much that means to me."

He thought he did though.

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A week later they were settling Helena into her ward at St. Mungo's hospital. It didn't take long for word of their arrival to spread throughout the hospital and the entire community for that matter. Not two hours later had the door been pushed open and in walked Ron. He stopped briefly in the doorway and hesitated before deciding he was there, he had to go in.

After Ginny's little escapades Ron had been thrust in the middle of a bitter battle. His two best friends or his family. Sadly his family out ranked his friends just in sheer number but also in location. After Hermione's escape to Canada he had been freed of the decision. This was the first time that Hermione had seen him since she'd stormed out of the Weasley's place years before. They'd owled a few times but hadn't kept it up consistently. She had wrote to him though after the birth of Helena and after her diagnosis. He had in turn sent cards and small packages each year on Helena's Birthday.

"Ron," Hermione jumped up and raced across the ward, pulling her red headed friend into the room, making up his decision whether to flee or stay for him, "Oh I've missed you so much," she gushed

"Yeah," he said glumly, "I'm really sorry Hermione," he untangled himself from her friendly hug and strolled over to Helena's bedside. He reached for her hand and clasped it between his own, "she's beautiful."

Hermione nodded, but for once she was dry eyed. There had been to many months of tears, "She had beautiful curly hair. You've never seen anything like it. It was all perfect ringlets, and was getting so long," she failed to mention the colour of her daughters locks. It had always been a slippery slope when she talked about Malfoy. Best to leave that detail out.

They caught up over the afternoon, and only when the sky darkened outside the window did Ron finally get up to leave. Helena had slept through the whole afternoon and that worried Hermione greatly. Her poor girl had less and less energy as every day went by.

After Ron was gone Harry got up to leave but not before saying, "I guess tomorrow you're going to have the whole army lined up to see you, for better or for worse."

He didn't have to ask her, she asked him, "Will you come? I have this horrible feeling that Ginny's going to show up tomorrow. You probably don't want to be here then, so I'll understand..."

How could he even think of his own pain when she was going through this horrible time? "Of course I'll be here. No question about it," he also figured that with Ginny's appearance would come another one not so welcomed. When Malfoy showed up-and he would-it wasn't going to be a pleasant atmosphere. You didn't get a friendly catching up session when he had just learned that he was a father. Harry wasn't looking forward to it for Hermione or for anybody in the ward that they were in. Hopefully they could put it off as long as possible. The stars wouldn't be with them though once again, because as fate would have it as they were discussing this a messenger was being admitted into Malfoy Manor.

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a/n So I just watched HBP and OMG it was so good. I was a bit disappointed with the lack of Harry/Ginny and the missing memory of was it Riddle's mother? Wow I need to go and reread that book. Good thing I have some holidays coming up. Anyway please please review. I really want to know what you think about this story. Thank you.


	12. Why?

The Master of the house was lounging back on a dark coloured leather sofa in his study. It was a dark room, that nobody was permitted into except himself. On occasion the House Elves came him to clean, but that was only after getting direct permission from him. Afterwards he'd change the password, to ensure no trespassers. It wasn't that he had anything to hide, he just didn't trust anybody. Whether it be for the minor inconvenience of somebody pumping a painting out of place or more major as in somebody snooping around, he just didn't want to bother himself with it.

In his hand he held a tumbler which contained the amber liquid that he craved. After he downed its contents with little to no trouble he wondered why he'd bothered to dirty a glass. After all he was going to drink the entire bottle in one sitting. Why not do away with etiquette that had been ingrained since early childhood and unscrew the bottle? It seemed like a good idea and so he tossed the glass aside and reached with his right hand for the bottle. Man this stuff sure went down easy.

Lying back on the sofa he rested his shoes on the arm. Underneath him the leather started to radiate his own body heat back at him. Tilting his head he scanned the room. His eyes coming to rest on a couple of different paintings suspended from the walls. The largest and grandest was placed in its seat of honour directly above the mantle. The walls were darkly panelled and the furniture if no leather was a darkly stained wood. All of the detailing was silver, as per Slytherin. None of that mushy comforting Gryffindor stuff. Who wanted gold when you could have silver?

The long thick draperies had been long since drawn, cutting out the last of the light the day had to offer. Sometimes it was just to much seeing the unruly gardens before you through floor to ceiling windows. It really was a magnificent room when you stood back to look at it. On the wall closes to the door, shelves spanning the entire width and height of the wall were filled with works. It wasn't the library, no that was at the other end of the house in a completely different wing, just a place to store things for easy accessibility.

It wasn't definitely a male oriented room, and the man resting in it now could truthfully say that in his time only one woman had been permitted to enter. She was the woman who he hadn't thought about in a good couple of years but all of a sudden was painfully forced to remember. With those thoughts he couldn't look at the large desk which was the focal point of the room, and had been used in more ways than just to write on. Could that have been the place? The timing was right. Why was he only learning about this now? What made her think she had the right to keep this from him. If the girl was a Malfoy, then she should have been raised as one. He couldn't bear to think what five years of being in a foreign country could have done to her. That didn't matter though. From the sounds of it she wouldn't live to receive her Hogwarts letter, let alone become Mistress Malfoy.

After another long slug out of the bottle he finally began to relax. It was if each drink slowly but surely stripped him off all his dilemmas layer by layer. This stuff was magic.

His thoughts slowly drifted away, until only a numb nagging plagued his conscience. That didn't last for long. As soon as he stopped drinking his mind started to spin again. It was a problem because as he downed the last drop of the elixir he realized he didn't have a replacement for it. That would be his first task in the morning. Now that he was condemned to think he couldn't chase a nagging image from his mind. It was of the bushy haired Hermione that he remembered from their early school days, only she had white blonde hair.

A pang of guilt passed through him, startling him. He never felt guilty. No, everything that he did was always for himself. He wasn't interested in others. The only other time he remembered actually feeling guilty was after he realized Hermione was gone. Man that had been a tough couple of months. He'd cried when he finally came to terms that she wasn't coming back this time, and it took a lot to make him cry. He wasn't stupid though, he knew a good thing when it hit him in the face. If only he had told her sooner. If only he had realized what it would be like not having her come back to him again. If only he had have realized sooner that she was a strong woman and didn't need a man. That was what was the worst thing. He'd been brought up to think of himself and only himself and to believe that any woman who would ever stand beside him wouldn't do so at the same height. His ancestors obviously hadn't met anyone like Hermione before.

He knew what he had to do, he had to go see her. He'd try to make things right. What girl wouldn't accept an honest apology from someone like himself? Nobody had ever turned him away before, before Hermione. This wasn't going to be easy. He had to meet his daughter though. It wasn't his proudest moment learning that he had a child that he didn't know about, but he sure as hell wasn't going to throw her away just because her mother hadn't seen fit to inform him of her existence.

He fell into a restless slumber not long after that, and awoke with a start to the chimes of midnight drenched in sweat. His head clearer than it had been all evening, he strolled up to his bedchambers. Before crawling under his covers he went to a small cabinet in his bathroom. On the middle shelf, straight in a line were at least a dozen small vials. Each of them identical in shape and contents. He grasped the first one on the left and uncorked it. Careful to not drop any of the precious potion on the floor. He brought the vial to his lips and the murky robin's egg blue liquid went down easily. How did those muggles get through a night of partying without the wonders of an anti hangover potion?

By the time his head had hit the pillow he was asleep. Not to be disturbed until the lights of dawn flowed in his windows which curtains had been left back. It would be a fact that he would loudly curse in the morning as the eastern sun shone brightly right into his eyes.

The night before he'd vowed to go to St. Mungo's the very next morning. He wasn't so courageous though sober and so as the hours ticked by he could still be found in the Manor. Night came and went and his idleness proceeded for the next week. He told himself he wasn't a coward, justifying that she probably had a lot of visitors eager to see her once again and to meet her child, his child. He'd go when they were guaranteed to have their privacy. When no Gryffindor would stroll in and send him death glares. Like he liked the situation any more than they did. They always failed to see that and it angered him to no end.

Every night he went to bed after one drink to many and swore to himself that tomorrow would be the day. Tomorrow he wouldn't have to fight with himself, he'd just go and do it. That was one thing to be said about the Gryffindors. As bad as they were, they always had the courage to stand up to what they believed in, no matter how stupid the thing was or how idiotic they would appear. Maybe courage wasn't such a good thing.

As a fortnight approached he finally gave in. No more talk, it was time for action. He was going to going tomorrow. It sounded like the same promise he'd made the night before, but this time he knew he had to do it. Something in his gut was telling him it was now or never. If he didn't go tomorrow he'd miss his chance. He didn't quite understand it but if there was one thing he knew, it was don't argue with his gut feeling. Most of the time it turned out to be correct. Like that day in third year when he was attacked by that beast. Hadn't he said it was a bad idea that that oaf was teaching them. And then in fifth year he had been overly excited for no reason at all right before the breakouts at Azkaban. Yes, his gut was rarely wrong. Sadly this time that would hold true yet again.

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a/n So I'm going away for a little while. Just thought I'd post this before I leave because it's so amazing to open your email after a long period of being away and seeing all sorts of reviews. You guys know what I mean, you're all writers as well. Please review then. Good, bad, what did you think. Parts you liked, didn't like. Tell me please. Thank.


	13. When the End is Near

a/n I had a couple of hours and was near a computer and I checked my emails. I couldn't believe the wonderful feedback from you guys. It was amazing. Thank you so much. Although after I read the reviews I had a horrible urge to write another chapter. So here it is, you have only yourselves to thank for this little chapter. Its short because I only have an hour before I have to go but I hope you enjoy it and that you continue to review. You guys are so amazing. Thanks again.

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_Clomp-click-clomp, _heels pounding against the worn floor. If she strained her eyes hard enough she could almost make out a path faded over time into the wood. It was not a path of happiness, but one of longing, despair and turmoil. Those who had walked before her sadly knew what she was experiencing and it was the worst thing any mother could think up. As a new mother, you worried about death, choking, a spell backfiring, poisonous potions or a toy broom accident. You knew they could happen, but you took measures to ensure that they didn't. You issued a rule that there was no brooms before Hogwarts, a wand wasn't left lying around, and small dangerous objects were kept out of reach. There was always a comfort as you locked your potions kit before leaving the room because that was one thing that wouldn't harm them.

The worst part of motherhood was the unknown. What would happen if your baby was at a friends or relatives and they didn't take the precautions that you did? What if they fell sick? Things that you had no control over, magic or muggle.

As she paced from one end of the silent, private ward to the other she listened for her baby girl's breathing. The Healers had appeared in numbers the night before and sat her down for the worst. They said that at the stage Helena was at she'd be lucky to make it through the night. They told her point blank, no secrets or half truths. Her baby was not going to get better. She was glad she had been sitting, otherwise she knew she would have been on the ground. The despair that poured through her after all but one of the Healers left was to much to even comprehend. No! No, was all she could think of.

Hermione didn't sleep one wink as the darkest hours of the night passed her by. She was going to be alert and with her baby until the end, whenever that was. The one thing that haunted her though was Malfoy. She had been sure he'd show up. It wasn't like him to walk away from an obligation, unless he didn't see it that way. She was sure by now he would have heard that they had a daughter, and that she was sick. Dying! The last thought made Hermione choke up again, she had to stop doing this to herself. She needed to be strong.

Many things were going through her mind as she walked back and forth, back and forth. Should she get Malfoy to come herself? She couldn't leave Helena though, so somebody else would have to do it. Did he even know? If by some slim chance he had not received word that he was a father she should send somebody to tell him. What if he never had the chance to meet and say good bye to Helena because he never knew. Then again, maybe he'd heard and decided not to.

On top of everything else that she had to deal with, the least of Hermione's concerns were being reunited with her ex. The fact that Malfoy and her even had a history, and a horrible one at that was not even in her mind. Helena, and Helena's father came first. She came last. She'd always put herself last next to her little girl.

Outside the window, Hermione could see the sun coming up over the capital. The lights reflected off the mirror like surfaces of the distant towers of glass and metal. It was a beautiful sight for someone who had always loved the city.

Before the final Healer had left the previous evening, he had enquired if Hermione had wanted him to get anybody to come and sit with her. She'd turned down his offer. Preferring for the moment to be alone, just her and Helena. That wasn't the case anymore, although the one person she wished to see she hadn't laid eyes on in years. It was all to much to take in.

During the previous afternoon, Helena had slipped into unconsciousness and before any medical personal came to tell them, they knew the end was near. Hermione's parents had sat with their girls for a couple of hours before a teary eyed Hermione had told them to go and get some sleep. They promised they'd be back, saying to Helena that they loved her and they'd see her soon. Everyone present though knew it was an empty promise. They didn't know what the future held. Harry had sat with her for a while and other people had floated in an out, but Hermione barely registered who they were, let alone how long they stayed for.

Harry had been the most reluctant to leave. In the end she practically had to force him out the door, saying that she needed to be by herself. They both knew why he was so reluctant to go. He was worried that Helena would take her last breath and Hermione would be all alone. With nobody to turn to comfort her. Harry knew all to well how the death of somebody you loved left you feeling alone and abandoned. He wanted to be there in the end to show her though, that he was there for her. He had always been and would always be.

Hermione was looking out the window at the reddening sky over the city when she heard the door squeak open behind her. Assuming it was just a Healer she didn't turn right away. They'd been in and out every hour or so making sure Helena was comfortable. That was the only thing they could pray for now, that her passing was an easy one. It wouldn't be painless, but they would do their best.

When she didn't hear any muttered spells or sloshing of potion, Hermione knew something was different. She tore her eyes away from the street forty feet below and turned. Although time had passed he looked the same. She knew the same couldn't be said of herself. The stress of a highly problematic delivery and very ill child could do that to a person. He didn't look at her. Instead he stood just a step in from the doorway staring at the frail being huddled up under a sheet. The shock and pain on his face was enough to send even the most hardened person to tears. She was no exception.

Without a thought of what she was doing, she launched herself across the room. He turned just in time to catch her as she flew into him, a mess of tears and words as she crumpled to the floor at his feet. He enveloped her in his arms and rocked her on the floor of the private ward. The only thing that mattered at the moment was their daughter. Helena Granger Malfoy, who was huddled up next to them on the bed, struggling to take her next breaths.

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a/n Was that a horrible part of the plot to give to you guys as a gift or what? Remember, I always find an extra bit of time for you guys when you give me those few seconds to write your reviews. Please keep it up. I won't be around a computer for a bit again and so once more I issue the same request. Please review.


	14. Like A Wave

a/n so when I posted the last chapter I thought it was so much shorter than the others until I looked at the word count, it was practically the same. Anyway thanks again so much for your reviews. I luv you guys. I can't believe how awesome you've been lately. Please keep it up, and now on to the next chapter. Enjoy!

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Not a word was exchanged between them, not a glance, nor a touch that meant more than I'm here. What more could be said at a time like this?

They sat next to each other, in painfully hard chairs that neither of them seemed to notice. It just seemed fitting. Before she knew what was happening, he'd picked up her hand and held it between his own. Tenderly stroking her palm, comforting her and calming her as Helena laid before them.

Finally he stood up and broke the eerie silence, "It's Helena right?"

Those three simple words were all it took for a torn up Hermione to dissolve once more into tears. Here was the introduction that she'd never hoped would end up like this. She nodded her head, "Helena Cissy," she choked out. It had been a tough decision for her whether to associate her daughter with her father's family or not. In the end a nagging part of her brain urged her that it was the right thing to do. At this moment she was glad for that part of her brain. The smile that broke out across his pained face was one she felt he didn't deserve to wear, but was happy he did. The love he had for his mother was very special.

"Merlin Hermione," he quickly turned before she could see the tears that had moistened the corners of his eyes.

"I may not like it, but she's a part of you as much as me. She's _our _daughter, and you wouldn't be here if you didn't believe that."

"I know she is, I know you wouldn't mess up like I did."

She held up a hand to silence him. Now was not the time for a game that may start of nicely, but end with accusations being hurled over top their daughter. He seemed to understand that as well. Whatever was wrong between them, needed to be forgotten. Anyway, a small problem of infidelity seemed like a pebble on the island of Britain when compared to their current situation.

Draco walked to the side of the bed and knelt down. He picked up the small child's-his daughter's, it still felt foreign to him-hand and like he did to her mother's, cupped it between his own. Hermione stayed back as she watched this heartbreaking meeting take place. She knew it was the end. Only a miracle could save Helena now, and frankly Hermione wasn't one to get down on her knees and pray like some muggles did for that. She'd seen death come to other children as they fought alongside her daughter back in Vancouver and she knew that it was coming for her baby, her precious child now. That's what made this meeting so heartbreaking, because alas it was also a farewell.

He leaned over and kissed the child's pale forehead and then knelt to the ground as if in prayer. Instead of bowing his head though, he laid it down beside his daughters. Cheek to cheek they lay as he felt her breathing slowly begin to calm. He still held her one little hand in his.

Around the other side of the bed Hermione mimicked Draco, picking up her daughters other free hand. From across the bed Draco reached out for Hermione's free hand. Hand's connected in triangle, for the last moments that they could be, their family was complete.

Helena's breaths before had been laboured and unnatural, but now they had calmed. It was almost time. Hermione had to force her eyes closed and bite her tongue to hold back a wail. This couldn't be happening. Not now that they were finally all together.

Hermione placed her head down gently on the small child's chest, feeling the rise and fall of it and knowing that while it continued Helena was only going through turmoil. Wouldn't it be better to let her just go now? Her head questioned her morals, but her heart fought selfishly back. It wasn't long though before her body could reunite itself in one emotion. Grief, so powerful it was like a wave had come crashing over her stationary form. Hurling her against the rocks of a cliff that had arose out of nowhere. The water smashed her around, tearing everything she knew apart, and leaving a bruised and bloody pile in its wake. When Hermione didn't feel Helena's chest rise again, it didn't matter that she'd been preparing herself for this. It didn't matter that at least she wasn't suffering anymore. All that mattered was that death had taken an innocent victim. A child, young and pure, long before she needed to go.

Hermione would never see her excitement as the owl dropped her first Hogwarts letter, as she tried not to cry as the train pulled out of sight. She'd never hear about the friends she'd made, that ultimately would take first place, pushing her mother into a respectable second position. Which house would she have been sorted into? She was smart, and had proven that she was brave and a fighter, but she was also kind at heart and held her father's arrogance. It would have been only a decision for the sorting hat. Hermione would never open the letter to read that her baby girl had been invited to Hogsmead by some boy. There wouldn't be a graduation, a wedding, children and grandchildren. The list was endless. No more milestones and no more quirky little things that seemed to make you laugh days later. She was gone. Her body lay before them, but what was a body without a soul, a wonderful little spirit?

Hermione draped herself over Helena's body and sobbed into her pillow. She picked up the frail body and hugged it to herself and cried for all that they had missed out on. A parent should never have to bury their child. That's why it felt so wrong as she clung to the lifeless form of her daughter. She didn't feel Draco's hand on her back, or see the tears that were freely falling down his pale face. She didn't hear the footsteps of the Healers who had come in the door and let her say her good byes. As time wore on Hermione didn't let go of her daughter. She knew that when she finally gave in and let her go, she'd truly be gone. She'd never hold her again, never see her again. She wasn't ready for that just yet.

The Healer's waited patiently, but then they too had to move on. Finally Draco with the help of another burly male Healer managed to pull Hermione's battered body off of Helena's. The whole time little strangled sobs of _no_ escaped her lips. Draco got her out into the corridor and adjusted her so he could apparate her safely away.

One of the Healer's had handed him a vial as they had left, and so after laying a flailing Hermione down between the cool sheets of his bed he uncorked it and forced it down her throat. The amber liquid flowed through her and eased her sweats, her breathing, her shaking and ultimately any trace of grief. She slipped into a peaceful sleep before his eyes and he sighed. If only he had a limitless supply of that stuff because when she woke up she would be in no better shape. As he flopped down into a chair beside the large window that overlooked the garden he realized that he could have used a swig of that stuff as well. Only after taking care of Hermione, and ensuring that she was in the best shape that could be expected did he feel the full weight of what had happened. He knew he had to suffer in silence though. Hell he had barely any right to grieve at all, but since when had that stopped him.

With Hermione safely asleep for the time being, Draco curled up and sobbed into the arm of the chair. His body shook as each painful sob tore through his body, and for the third time in his life he cried himself to sleep.

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a/n :( I'm sorry guys, I know that was absolutely horrible. I hope you'll forgive me though and fill up my inbox with reviews. It certainly would cheer me up. So again thanks everyone for their reviews, oh and I'll let you decide the other two times he cried himself to sleep. Happy thinking, and I'd like to see what creative stuff you can come up with, who knows it might be included in a future chappie. Cheers


	15. The House of Malfoy

a/n Before I begin I have to apologize. You guys must have thought I'd vanished again. I guess you'd be right, working forty hours a week for the first time ever and then going away on my two days off can do that to a person so I apologize. While absent from Fanfic I did come up with another idea for a story that I'm dying to write, but I won't start it until I'm done this. I've overlapped to many stories before. Happy reading.

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How were you supposed to tell your family and your friends that cancer had taken another victim? How could you notify them all, without feeling like your soul was being separated into each letter that was owled away? Thank god for Malfoy, a phrase Hermione couldn't believe she was thinking.

As the affects of the sleeping potion began to wear off, the horrors of the previous day began to trickle back into Hermione's conscience. As she became more alert she realized she was no longer in the hospital, unless St Mungo's had recently invested in huge sleeping chambers and silk sheets.

"Damn it," she cursed a loud. It didn't take a genius to realize where she'd just woken up, after all she'd spent quite a few nights rolling around in these very sheets. That thought was cringe-worthy enough as it was, never mind that she shouldn't even be thinking such things.

It was late in the morning, by the looks of the sun outside the window. Time for her to get up. She needed to contact her parents, the Weasley's and Annie and Dayton right away. Somebody else could deal with contacting any other acquaintances.

Just as she was lifting the sheets off of herself, the door opened silently on its well oiled hinges. Behind a bobbing tray of food walked Malfoy.

"I thought you should at least try to eat something," he muttered as he lowered the tray by magic down onto the bed and then stood awkwardly by the side of the bed. At first glance Hermione could tell that that tray contained enough food for a small army. The House Elves had been busy.

"You know I don't think I've ever seen you carry a tray of food before, ever! You always have Dinky, or Blinky, or Plinky do it for you."

"Yeah well," he shrugged. He was treading carefully. Unsure of when the stable ground would drop away, leaving only tears and screaming behind. So far he was surprised how well she was coping. Obviously the last of the sedative was yet to wear off. Nevertheless he was still not going out of his way to do anything that would upset her. Hence the not sitting down on the bed with her.

h

"Well, I guess we should eat," she reached over to the stack of toast and plucked the first buttered piece off the top. She bit into it and almost choked. It was so dry and burnt to a crisp on the underside. For a moment she wondered if the foul taste in her mouth was only her grief, but when she tilted the toast to the side she saw that in fact something had gone quite wrong with breakfast."

"Umm, sorry. I needed something to get my mind off of things. I kicked everyone out of the kitchen and well I've never really been in the kitchen before. Sorry," his eyes were glistening as he said this.

"Sit down, have some eggs. They look edible," she chuckled.

He sat down on the bed and leaned up against the propped up pillows. He sat parallel with Hermione, but kept a large gap between them.

In the end the fruit turned out to be the only thing that had anything going for it. The eggs were rubbery, the toast burnt and the bacon slightly raw but it was the message behind it that counted. Out of nowhere Hermione started crying. She'd been trying not to think about Helena since she'd woken up, but then had thought how cruel that was. She was dead-such a harsh word-but she didn't deserve to be pushed out of her mother's mind. It would be an insult to her not to think of her because it was to painful.

The sobs that tore through Hermione's body were still painful like those from the previous day, but not as bad. Maybe that had something to do with the strong arms that closed the measured gap and enveloped her. Pulling her close. Or maybe it was the dampness she felt on the top of her head, where his tears had landed. She wasn't the only one hurting here. She wasn't all alone. As they pulled apart Hermione dried her eyes. At that point she vowed that if Draco was human enough to cry, something she'd sworn he'd never do, then she could be strong enough to make that her last grief filled bawl. There were to many people that would be needing comforting in the coming weeks for her to add to that list. It would be hard, but she had to remember that Helena was not a child to be kept cooped up in a hospital. She needed her freedom and wherever she was now, she had that. She was a prisoner in life and in the end it had been a blessing that she didn't have to continue to suffer. It wasn't fair to her.

So as the day wore on and the Weasley's stormed Malfoy Manor, something both families at hand had sworn would never happen, and the Granger's had been apparated through the anti-muggle protections, Hermione thought only of the good.

By nightfall Malfoy Manor had become an assembly station for all those people who were trying to cope with the loss of such a wonderful child. Food packages had been arriving by owl all day, resulting in the long dining table to be partially covered by colourful dishes. Dinner was easy, no more rubbery or undercooked food for Hermione and Draco.

Everyone stopped by to pay Hermione their respects, but Hermione never strayed far from Draco. Falling back into the old habit. The only person that didn't come over and talk to her was Ginny, who stayed clear across the room with Charlie who'd rushed in from the continent as soon as he'd heard. By dinner time it had become almost a mindless thing for Hermione's eyes to roam and find Ginny and then stare at her. Sometimes making contact with her eyes and daring her to come and talk to both herself and Draco. Hermione had to admit, this was probably the second most uncomfortable day of Ginny's life. She was there out of family obligation, but hated every minute of seeing the two people that she'd torn apart standing together again, in the house that she'd once roamed freely around in.

Hermione hadn't talked to Ginny since she had confronted her former friend all those years ago, but Harry had told her that Ginny had come into meet Helena one night. It was late, and Hermione had been ushered into a room with a small cot by a Healer. Harry had been pretending to sleep in the armchair in the ward when the door had creaked open. He hadn't told Hermione about the visitor until this morning. Something that made Hermione feel unexpectedly relieved. After all that Ginny had done, Hermione still would have felt guilty if she had never met Helena. Harry and Hermione decided not to tell Ginny that they knew about her visit.

As people mingled around with tear streaked faces Hermione couldn't help but notice a few awkward looking stances from people. Her parents primarily. She knew that they were probably mad that they were assembling in the house of Malfoy who had screwed up so royally before, but Hermione was still clinging to.

A few minutes after people began to eat, Hermione saw her chance. Without hesitation she bolted out of the closest door which happened to lead her into the kitchens. Without a backwards glance to the busy House Elves she pushed her way out of the second door and into a dark corridor in the back of the house. The back stairway was directly in front of her. Its steep and narrow climb that threaded its self up though the floors of the great house. To her right was the long corridor that would eventually take you back to Malfoy's study, and then the main house. What was to her left she had not clue. She'd never ventured that way. She couldn't imagine though, what else could be in this house, it already had everything.

She got her answer though as she rounded the last corner and entered into a completely different world. It was a trophy room at first glance, but a family museum upon closer inspection. A lot of the stuff had to do with Quidditch. Old retired brooms that Hermione had no doubt were the best of their time or even ahead of their time. Plaques and trophy's glistened from shelves, but what really caught Hermione's attention was the photo's. Wizard's had had the art of photography down centuries before the muggles had ever dreamed of such a thing. Ever free space was lined with a framed photo of one of Malfoy's ancestor's doing something outstanding, or meeting some foreign famous person. It still amazed a muggle born to see ancient pictures in vivid colour. None of that scratchy brown that old photo's were notorious for. It didn't take long for Hermione to realize that from the left of the doorway was the oldest items, gradually decreasing in age as they ran clockwise around the room.

She stepped around a couple of old trunks with faded gold lettering on them that littered the floor space. The one thing that stood out in the room was that despite all the stuff in it, it was still neat and dust free.

Looking at the photographs she was transported to a time where the Malfoy name meant something. The House of Malfoy was unprecedented. No other name held the reputation that it did. It was a time when pureblooded families were envied and Malfoy meant the purest. The only thing was that didn't matter. It's how the world was then. In a time before Voldemort. Before Malfoy became synonym for Dark Arts and Death Eater. Hermione stopped for a second and looked at a white blond haired man eagerly shaking the hand of a Healer in front of a newly constructed floor of St. Mungo's. It was a time when the House of Malfoy could do nothing wrong. Or so they led everyone to believe.

The 19th century opened up to the 20th and faces that Hermione actually began to recognize, at least from outside of the history books. The most recent of the photo's showed a young Draco at random, by himself and eventually standing with his arms wrapped lovingly around Hermione. Hermione recognized the dress robes she was wearing in the photo and that told her where it was taken. Although the picture portrayed absolute adoration, reality had been anything but. It had been in the middle of on of their largest fights. Hermione could see the large diamond twinkling on her finger, but only she and Draco knew the truth of that sparkle. It actually sat in a box on a dresser, just waiting for events like this that they had to attend.

Upon closer inspection she saw some details that made her hate herself even more. Two people could fake a love for each other. They'd been especially good at it when out in public, but Draco wasn't acting. It was evident now that she looked back on things. The look he had on his face was anything but forced. He truly loved the woman he was standing next to. It made her acting seem like that of a Primary School Concert. His was genuine.

"I've always loved you," a voice whispered from behind her. She didn't turn though for fear of showing him what those words did to her, "I never realized how good I had it. Up until that point nothing could ever keep us apart. I got stupid by assuming that one day you wouldn't just pack it in. You'd never done that before. We had our rough times but we always went back to each other. I grew way to comfortable. Merlin Hermione, I've wanted to tell you this for so long. I regret ever taking you for granted. You were the most amazing thing and I blew it."

The one question that had been plaguing her since it had happened finally came out, "Why?" it was barely loud enough to be heard and when he didn't answer Hermione assumed he hadn't heard so she repeated it.

"I've asked myself that so many times and I know you deserve an answer. It's the least I could do for you, but really I don't know. I could have been just to get you riled up, or to show myself that I could still attract another girl. Like I said, I grew to comfortable and up until that point, you'd always come back to me. All I can really say is that it was stupid and I couldn't tell you exactly why I did it. You will never believe this when I tell you but I was never attracted to her. There wasn't anything special going to come of it."

It was a strange answer. Hermione didn't know what she was expecting but it wasn't that. Deep down though she could tell it was the truth. If he had just said he didn't know, it was stupid she would have instantly went to the assumption that he was lying. If he had said that he'd fallen for her she didn't think she could believe that either. Not after looking at the line up of photo's of her and Draco together. She still didn't say anything, nor did she turn and face him. She didn't trust herself.

She hadn't noticed it before but there was a door to her right. She opened it and walked in. It was a stark contrast to the previous room she'd been in. All the organized clutter was gone and only an empty room stared back at her. At first she thought it was just a deserted room until her eyes adjusted to the dim light. With pupils dilated she was able to make out that their was something written on the walls. A flick of her wand and the ancient candles in holders around the room lit up. Casting a warm glow across the decorated walls.

Names, names and dates that dated back to the first people to settle in England. The House of Malfoy stood before her in all its glory. Every spouse, every child in the Malfoy line was displayed before her.

"It knows when a birth or a death happens. We don't have to do anything. It makes itself," the voice again drifted up from behind her. He'd followed her into the room. It was kind of awkward to be followed around by your ex fiance as you snooped around his most private rooms. She understood what he was saying, though it took her a minute. There the newest name to be put on the tree. Glowing at the bottom, Helena Cissy, followed by her date of birth and death. Such a small difference between the years.

"Only somebody that's on the tree will be admitted into the room. The door won't appear to anybody else."

"Yeah, but I came in with you."

"No, you came in all by yourself, ahead of me even. It doesn't matter though if somebody tries to accompany you in, it will not allow it."

"I don't understand," she breathed, and she really didn't.

She felt a hand enclose around her wrist and steer her so she was staring right at Draco's name, and below it, Helena's, "I don't understand," she said again.

His finger traced the silver line that sprouted out from his name connecting him and his daughter and then he traced a far fainter ribbon to the right of his name. It had almost faded away, but could still barely be made out, Hermione Jane. Linked by a line of matrimony.

"But we never were," she protested, trying to make sense of it all.

"To it we as good as were. I'd been in here a couple of times and seen your name growing bolder every time. That's why I've never come down this way since you left. I couldn't bear to see the photo's, your name slowly fading out. If I had have come I would have seen that I...we had a daughter. I would have come sooner."

"So I was admitted in here because every string hasn't been severed?" she thought aloud.

"Maybe that's it, or maybe it's just that you have a connection through Helena."

Hermione ran her hand across the raised lettering of her daughter's name, "I should probably get back to everyone, they'll be wondering where I've ventured to. Sorry for snooping around, I just was surprised to find a part of the Manor that I had never seen. I thought I'd been everywhere."

They extinguished the candles and walked out into the trophy room. The door closing behind them as they walked back into reality. The room hadn't brought back her daughter, nor had it restored her life before Draco's affair, but it had provided her with some answers, a bit of closure. She'd always be connected to Draco. No matter what was to happen in the future, they always had something that tied them together. On one sad ground they stood together, parents that had lost a child. Only the two of them knew the grief and the guilt that would arise from such a thing and thus they had found solitude within. Now back to the grieving friends and family. Hand in hand as nothing more than friends they walked back.

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a/n Why do I write a good ending for a story, when it's not the ending, and then when I want to end it, can never think of how to do it? Man something's make no sense. Well, I got a bit carried away. This was supposed to be mainly a grieving chapter with family and such and a funeral but for some reason Hermione had to get out and even as I was writing her venturing past the back stairs I had no clue what she was going to find. Thanks for reading guys and as always please please review. I really appreciate it. Cheers.


	16. Childish Excuses

"I refuse to be made out to be the bad guy here, again!" she spat out, "What we had was real, I'm sorry that somebody got hurt in the process of it but really I don't want to stand by and let what could be the greatest thing ever pass me by, just because it may hurt somebody."

"That somebody was your best friend!" an astonished voiced tried to reason with the hot tempered red head. It was no use though trying to make somebody feel guilty when they had no conscience.

"And who's to say that she wouldn't do the same thing...?"

He cut her off by saying, "I doubt she ever would have done that, and especially now since she knows what it feels like to be stabbed in the back by her so called friend."

"The way I see it, she was the other woman. We first met up when they weren't together. Really he cheated on me by going back to her."

This was insane. How could she possibly think this let alone say it? It made his head hurt to think that he was related to this...monster, "They'd been on and off to many times to count. They never stayed apart for long. You can justify what you did with him until the centaurs hold a dance party, but what about Harry. You've loved him since you first laid eyes on him. You can't tell me that one day that suddenly ended. Even if it did, don't you think he deserves better than what you did to him?"

"You don't know what was going on between Harry and I," she brushed his question away with a flick of her wrist. It was evident that this was the part that bothered her the most, or at least a bit.

"Fine, you win but really it's not fair arguing with an insane individual. Come on we're leaving," he grabbed at her thin wrists and prepared to apparate.

"Charlie!" her voice came out in a high squeak, so unlike the harsh tone it held only seconds before.

"What?"

"Please, I can't do this."

Yes, there it was finally. The regret that the entire family had been trying to get her to feel for some time now.

"Hermione is family, and when somebody in the family dies we go out to support the others," he said bluntly. This wasn't fair, why did he get saddled with this ugly job? Ah yes, because he was the muscle, but Bill was the brains so he should be hear talking her out of her craziness.

It took longer than Charlie would have liked but eventually he managed to get Ginny over to Malfoy Manor. As they stepped through the open doorway, or rather he did, she just froze out on the front stoop. He had to reach behind him and haul her over the threshold and into the Manor which he could honestly say gave him the chills. He didn't know how Hermione could fall asleep in a place like this, nor what she or Ginny saw in Malfoy. He was a pompous, spoilt toe rag even still at around thirty years old. He treated women like crap and still managed to have them come back to him. And it wasn't just stupid blonde bimbo's, no offence to any of the intelligent blondes out there he added to his thoughts, who came back. Hermione, who people raved was the smartest which of her age went back, multiple times. Maybe there was something he couldn't see, couldn't understand because he was a guy. Maybe behind closed doors with his woman, Malfoy was a gentleman. Or maybe he was just a damn good manipulator.

Charlie had never stepped foot inside Malfoy Manor before. He knew the rest of his family had been invited to some Christmas thing awhile back, but only because Hermione had done part of the invitations. He had had to skip it though because he was out of the country. He actually missed all of the festivities that year. Preferring to pick up some shifts and allow the guys with families and wives to take the holiday's off. He could always visit his family, and god knows his mother cooked like it was Christmas every day.

Speaking of food, they followed the noise of chatter into a massive dining room. The solid wood table with intricately carved and very old, but the surface could barely be seen because of the stacks of food that had been piled upon it.

Charlie looked back, and again Ginny was hanging back by the door. Staring blankly into the room. Her expression was one of a lost child who had no one to turn to, nor any idea where to look for somebody. He walked back to her and sighed as he hauled her in behind him. This was going to be a ton of fun, baby sitting his adult sister. Good god!

Ginny found herself a seat in the corner and sat down with her arms crossed.

"Stop acting like a baby for Merlin's sakes," Charlie leaned over and hissed at her. She was making an incredible scene and making an absolute fool out of herself and the family. Not that she hadn't already, "You made your bed, now sleep in it," with that being said he wasn't hanging around anymore. He didn't think he could stand to be around her for much longer, so he shuffled through the throng of people.

He knew he should probably find Hermione and offer her his condolences, but he couldn't see her anywhere. Now that he looked he couldn't find Malfoy either. Damn, what was Hermione getting herself into again. She didn't have any siblings, so he kind of felt that he should help out with the brother protection thing. Or on second thoughts, he failed with Ginny so maybe he just sucked at that sort of thing.

An older couple was sitting, or rather crumpled in a set of chairs surrounded by people. Charlie hung back until everyone moved on and then he walked over to Hermione's parents. They didn't see him right away, but kept on talking. It didn't take him long to realize that he wasn't the only one that saw Hermione and Malfoy's sudden mutual disappearance.

"Honey, we have to do something."

"But is now really the time?"

"We've put it off for to long. It just keeps happening. She gets hurt, runs away and then slowly makes her way back. She was away for along time this time, but she still comes back. I can't bear to see her get hurt again. You and I both know that that's going to happen again. She's just lost her daughter, she's going to cling to the first person who puts an arm out to her. And he will do that. It's just the type of guy he is. He'll see that she's vulnerable now and jump at the opportunity."

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I'm not sure that it's the right thing to do. They're both adults and we really don't know what happens between the two of them. I don't want to loose our daughter over this."

Mr Granger considered that for a minute and then nodded his head ever so slightly.

It really was a strange day. They were all here because a little girl had died, but everything seemed to revolved around everyone's ill fated relationships.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help but hear some of what you were saying," Charlie said.

"What was your name again son?" Mr Granger asked.

"Charlie, Mr Granger," he held out his hand to shake the elder man's, "and while it probably isn't the time or place for this conversation, I have to agree one hundred percent with what you said," he turned to Mrs. Granger going back to the task at hand and gave her a hug, "I am so sorry, I still can't believe it."

"Neither can we," she said teary eyed.

They proceeded then to do the formal chit chat that always came after a death.

Quite awhile later the door opened and in walked Hermione and Malfoy. What was worse than that they'd appeared together, was that their hands were intertwined. It was like the entire room took a strangled breath in. A quick look towards the Granger's told him all that he needed to know, Mrs. Granger wasn't going to be able to keep her mouth closed this time.

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a/n Thanks everyone for the reviews. For those of you that are still mad that Helena had to die, I'm sorry that this story isn't a fairy tale story were miraculously everyone makes it out fine, and I'm even more sorry that what I've written actually has to happen to like you said, innocent children. It really is cruel the way cancer is and I for one hate writing a story that covers up something that actually happens in real life. Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it. Keep up your reviews.


	17. Easy Choices

She didn't know why she was there, sitting in a high backed Queen Anne chair in the Manor's Drawing Room. It was a very elegant room were some of the best and worst of Wizard Society had been entertained throughout the generations. This time though it played host to a different type of person. One that was never willingly invited into the Manor, muggles!

They weren't sitting down, instead the man was leaning up against the hearth and his wife was dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

"We really hate to do this to you Hermione, especially today," the man looked sadly at the young woman who was sitting with the posture of a Queen at her throne.

"It's going to be a rough day for everyone," her mother added, "we've discussed this a lot."

"Go on," Hermione urged.

Mrs. Granger stepped around the table and sat down on the edge of it. Grasping her daughters cold, lifeless palms between her own. Giving them a little squeeze for reassurance she then said, "I don't like what is happening with the Malfoy boy."

"What she means," her father helped, "is we're worried. You disappear halfway around the world for several years and we had to admit we were relived. No matter what you did, you always seemed to get hurt when you were around him. Now this horrible, horrible tragedy has occurred and you're back. He's waiting for you with open arms and being so good to you. If he was like that to you always we wouldn't have a problem. It's just, why wasn't he doing that to you when you ran away. He never tried to get you back and now he's saying how badly he screwed up.

He's not cleaning up after himself. Instead waiting until it's easy for him to I'm sorry to say it but manipulate you again. How long is this mister nice guy going to last. Hermione you've been through way to much to have to deal with this again."

"We don't want you to take this the wrong way," Mrs. Granger added carefully, "If you trust him completely and think he's changed then we're not going to argue with you. We can't run your life and we certainly won't try. We don't want to lose you over something like this, so this is the last time we'll talk about it. Just remember that this is what we see from the outside, things may be different from where you stand. In fact I know they are, but just remember what we have to say."

"We're sorry again to have to do this now. Today is probably going to be the second worst day of your life."

She wasn't so sure of that. She'd been doing pretty well the last three days. Only succumbing to her sorrow twice, and both times were in the privacy of the bed chambers without even Draco around. Today was going to be a rough day but she knew she'd get through it. There wasn't much to be said for Draco but she did have to admit, the first night after Helena's....Helena's....passing seemed like they'd never end.

Her parents seemed really nervous, having this conversation with her but she was glad they were. She had been doing a lot of thinking since coming back to the Manor. Primarily, why was she back there again? It seemed her brain and her heart again were thinking different things. In the past that had been a suicidal mistake and she didn't think it would change now. She'd taught herself to do things rationally, so why follow her heart now? That's where things got tough. It was wonderful to have a bit of clarification that her parents saw something fishy as well. Now what to do about it? Had he really changed this time like he said he had? Or was he just saying that again like he had done before. With a Malfoy you never know. What if she walked away from something that could have made her once again happy. Today wasn't the day for those major decisions. She'd need a clear head for that. Besides, whatever was meant to be could wait. She was attending her daughters funeral today.

Her parents hugged her, realizing they had left her with a lot to think about, and then left the room. Closing the door behind them. In the privacy of the large, high ceilinged room she broke her vow again and sobbed. It was okay though if nobody saw her right? She had to be strong for everyone else, but sometimes you just couldn't help it.

Her perfect form collapsed in on itself as her body convulsed. She didn't hear the door reopen, so when she felt a hand being placed on her shoulder she jumped.

"I'm sorry to scare you," he said gently, but he didn't remove his hand, "are you ready to go?"

"No!," she replied bluntly but truthfully. Why in anybody's right mind would they want to got to this? Who said funeral's were for the living was out of their mind.

She'd told herself only seconds before that's she'd wait to make up her decision about him, but already she was feeling a bit nervous. Feeling herself already growing detached could mean something. He bent down and gave her a hug, "You'll regret it forever if you don't go," he tried to make her decision for her.

"Oh excuse me, I'll regret it for the rest of my life mister," she turned to him.

"Yeah, because I regret what I did. You'll never understand how much I hate myself. I wasn't there for her, for you. It's just this constant ache in my whole body."

Either he really did regret it or he was quite the smooth talker. That was the problem with him, you never could tell.

"I want to try make this up to you."

She turned to him, "You've got to be kidding. There's no going back, and that's the only way you could possibly make right what you did."

"Don't say that," he protested, "We could try again. Another baby, another little girl who'd be Daddy's Princess. We'd be a happy family."

They said for mentally unstable people there was always a trigger that set them off. Hermione never considered herself unstable but that was her trigger point. How dare he, the asshole, and she didn't keep those thoughts in her head either. She stood up so quickly it knocked him off the arm of the chair. His reflexes were good, but she had caught him so off guard that he wasn't able to catch himself nor break his fall. In fact she was halfway across the room before he had managed to stumble back to his feet, "Hermione, what did I say?" he cried out.

She spun around and was glad that there wasn't anything loose in her reach. She would definitely throw it at him if she could have, "You just don't get it?" she screamed, "we can't just have another baby to replace Helena. It's not like a broomstick you egoistic shit, the old one breaks so you replace it with a new and better one. No, this is a child, a precious little you, who you get to see grow and change daily in front of your eyes. There's only one Helena and she's gone. She can't be replaced, it doesn't matter which type of magic you know. You don't deserve to be a Father if you think such a thing. I did the right thing by never introducing her to you. She was better off not knowing her father. Harry was twice the Father to her than you'll ever be to anybody's child. The poor lady that falls into that fate."

"I don't understand Hermione."

"That's the point," she shrieked, "You're an idiot. Everything revolves around you."

"What if we didn't try to replace her. Instead we had another baby. Somebody to take your mind off of things."

"Again, you're spouting off that stupid line. Did you not hear me the first time. It's not going to happen."

"We've made it through things like this before. We always end up together again Hermione. What's stopping us from starting a family?"

"The fact that I can't have a kid any more," she sobbed.

"We could wait awhile until you feel ready," he tried.

"No, you idiot, I...can't...have...kids. Helena and I both almost died when I gave birth to her. They operated...they..." was she really going to tell him this? Her parents didn't even know, "They had to do a god damn hysterectomy to save my life. When I say I can't have kids I mean it. It's not going to happen, not with you, not with anybody. Helena was that much more special because we both pulled through. She was my little angel, and my only one," she turned and flew back towards the door.

Before she closed the door she called out, "Don't bother going to the funeral. You aren't welcome there. Only people that are there for Helena, not themselves are welcome. Don't even try show up," it was amazing how one phrase could make a hard decision easy. Now that she was preparing to apparate to her flat for the first time in a long time she couldn't help but wonder if he would show up this afternoon. Then she questioned if she wanted him to. Was it one of those times that she was testing, to see if he'd come running or not? She didn't think so. She was done with him. Once and for all, she was never coming back to this horrible place.

The worst part of that last conversation was not her decision, but the realization that she'd been blocking out. She couldn't have another child. She'd never be a Mom again.

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a/n Well this blow out has been planned for probably a year. It was one of the first things I came up with when the idea of this story popped into my head, and it felt really good to finally right it out. I hope you liked it and please review. Thanks


	18. Atop a Hill

How should a child's funeral proceed? Thankfully the answer to that isn't readily available because it's still all to uncommon of a thing. Should that sad music be played? Should people wear black? The decision about people's attire was left to the individual, but the answer to the other question was no. No mournful music and no element of an elderly persons funeral were to set foot anywhere near little Helena's last day above ground.

The morning had been dark and the promise of rain was there. By the time the people had gathered outside the church the sun was breaking through the heavy overcast skies. It was a small church, whitewash walls and a tall steeple that reached high into the sky. It stood atop a grassy hill that overlooked the small historic village below. The church bell when it tolled would echo off the surrounding hills and bounce into the lives of all the villagers. To any wizard it looked like a strange place, but to Hermione a muggleborn it looked like a post card. After all it was a muggle village, and there wasn't a wizard inhabiting anywhere for miles around.

Behind the church was a fenced in graveyard. Once little, it now bore the years in strange spurs shooting off around the sides of the chapel. Stone crosses marked the final resting spots of centuries of the townsfolk. It wouldn't be long before Helena was laid down below the ground.

Inside it was standing room only. Hermione, her parents, Harry and the Weasley's had two reserved pews at the altar. Behind them Hermione's old school mates, co workers, Healer's from Mungo's and even people she didn't know sat in their best. If she had have scanned the back row, she would have easily noticed the person lurking in the shadows. She hadn't though. Instead her eyes stopped just short of the cloaked figure who she believed had no business there.

Harry had heard about Hermione and Malfoy's confrontation and her warning to him. Because of this, he was looking in all the places Hermione was not.

The ceremony was brief, Hermione hadn't wanted a long winded and boring funeral because she knew from experience that Helena would have just wanted to get up and run around.

Harry was sitting beside Hermione and his hand didn't leave hers until after the priest had finished the last prayer and the pallbearers had walked the coffin back up the aisle. As the double doors opened, the sunlight poured in. A light breeze pushed its way through the church; finding its way into every corner and crevice.

Out through the doors the mourners spilled and onto the grass. Slowly they trickled around the sides of the church and into the little cemetery. In the midst of the shuffle Hermione had lost Harry. It wasn't until the priest had made his way back to the front of the crowd did Harry reappear.

"Where were you?" she whispered to him as her hand searched around for his. She rested her head against his chest and waited. The words of the priest trickled throughout the crowd but didn't even begin to penetrate Hermione's ears. As the priest stepped back to allow for the casket to be lowered, Ron stepped over to Hermione's other side and reached for her hand. His face was wet with tears and he wasn't alone. There wasn't a dry eye around, except for Hermione. She'd shut down a long time before. As they casket began its descent, Ron threw his arms around his friends and Harry did the same. Enveloping Hermione in between them.

Once the casket met earth, the three friends stepped forward and threw in flowers. Next the family, and finally anyone else who wished to contribute to the growing mass of flowers. The tradition handfuls of dirt were nowhere to be seen as Hermione felt it was a disturbing tradition. The crowd began to disperse, heading of to the Burrow where the get together had been hastily moved to. As the last stragglers turned to leave a black blur caught Hermione's attention. She was off without a second though. Un-wedging herself from between her two much taller friends she set off at a run. She heard them call after her, but that didn't stop her. He was quick and he'd also had a head start but she eventually caught up.

He didn't know she'd been racing after him and so he flinched when he felt her hand close around his upper arm. He spun around and pulled his wand. She recoiled but then cringed, she wasn't scared of him. He was pathetic. The sunlight caught something under his cloak and she sucked in a breath, "No," she whispered, "no," she vigourously shook her head.

"What?" he snapped, "first you run out on me and then you come chasing after me. Get your issues straightened out for Pete's sakes."

"Me, get my issues," she gasped, "I thought I was clear when I told you you weren't welcome here."

"I'm not going to argue with you," he said calmly.

She stepped back, he'd never backed down from a fight, especially with her. She also didn't fail to notice his hand find it's way to his belt, "Fine," she didn't really know what to say so instead she pulled her cloak around her, "I guess I'll be seeing you around," she murmured and then turned to go find Harry and Ron again. She didn't get very far before he called her back. "What?"

"Never mind," he turned to leave and Hermione saw the glint around his belt once more. She let out a sigh and then made her way back up to Harry and Ron.

"Are you okay?" the both asked her.

"Yes, Malfoy's taken up possession of his Father's cane," she sighed. Apparently she really had messed him up if he was returning to the ways of his Father. She almost felt sorry for him, almost but not quite.

"Come on, people will want to see you," Ron held out his hand.

"Don't forget the weeping on your shoulder," Harry added.

"Even though they'd never met Helena," Ron couldn't help but add.

"Okay guys, I get it. It's not going to be fun. Let's go."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Never better," she huffed and then apparated before anyone else could interrogate her. After all she was only one more sentence away from tears.

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a/n What did you guys think? Please review. Cheers


	19. Who Say's You Can't Go Home

Without as much as a hiss the door eased itself open. A tribute to good quality building materials, as it did not creak whatsoever on it's unused hinges. She didn't have to step into the doorway to smell the scent of trapped air. It hit her, in warm waves as she subconsciously wrapped her arms around her chest for protection. Protection against what, she did not know.

Before she could change her mind she lifted her foot, ever so gently over the door jam. With two feet now completely inside the room she exhaled the breath she didn't know she had been holding. She could do this, she kept reminding herself. Bringing her eyes up from the thick woollen carpet she surveyed the damage that half a decade had bestowed on her oasis. The furniture was exactly how she had left it. That one dining room chair, sitting off kilter from the rest. It had been where Harry was sitting when the banging on the door had first begun. She had been in to much of a hurry to place it back into its rightful position. A quick scan of the room told her that except for layer upon layer of dust, nothing was out of place. Her charms she had hurriedly cast on her way out the door had held firm.

Padding silently through the flat in only her stockings, memories came flooding back to her. For better or for worse she had loved this place and even now could not imagine giving it up. It had been her safety net every time she had thrown Draco's ring back at him. She couldn't begin to count how many nights she had cried herself to sleep under the white fluffy down comforter on her low riding bed. What confused her most as she stepped into her bedroom was not the bad memories, but the good. Her and Draco dancing as their song played on the old fashioned radio she had in the corner of her room. Running out of the bathroom after a positive pregnancy test and trying not to scream in delight. Coming home and flopping into the covers with a new and absolutely fabulous ring sparkling on her left hand. For all the hard times this flat had weathered with her, there had been a lot of good. She couldn't help but admit. With a slight pang of regret she realized the same could be said of hers and Draco's relationship. They had their rough patches, well downright horrible if she really admitted it, but when things went well with them, it was spectacular.

Exhausted from the amount of energy it had taken to return, she collapsed onto the edge of the bed. The mattress sagged in protest under her weight as she eased herself back. Staring up at the ceiling she was amazed to realize she was dry eyed. A monumental accomplishment when she really thought about it, for she had never imagined she would step foot in this flat again without a miniature version of herself in tow. She had always known she would return. Even as she was fleeing all those years before, it was a guarantee she would come back. Now though to enter the flat single and childless, just as she had left it was gut wrenching. It was something nobody that had carried a child to term should ever have to say, that they were without a child again.

There was no time to mope though, as she had quickly decided earlier that morning. Helena was no child to be imprisoned and that's what the cancer had done to her. Her mind floating back to the hospital in Vancouver where a six year old boy lay trampled in a hospital bed much to large for him. He had whispered to Helena in a voice filled with wisdom an adult could only dream of possecing that they couldn't ask why, only accept that it was meant to be. Hayden had been the strength that got Hermione through some of the toughest nights in her life. If a child could understand and accept death as a beautiful thing, then she had to at least give it her best shot. Helena was in a world that no longer held the bitterness of humanity. There was no more evil and peace was unheard of because who could put a name to something that had nothing opposing it. Yes, where Helena was peace and comfort were the norm. Not something fought over in a futile attempt to restore happiness.

With the thoughts of a peaceful heaven floating throughout her brain, Hermione fell asleep. Wherever Helena was she was happy and running free and that was good enough for Hermione.

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Back in the privacy of her own flat, Hermione began to pick up the pieces of her shattered life. One thing at a time, beginning with the mountains of dust that had begun to form miniature sand dunes in every nook and cranny. While the flat was outfitted for a muggle, with all the modern amenities, that did not stop a very gifted witch from pulling a few tricks out of her sleeve. Less than five minutes later the place was sparkling, returned to its former glory.

The next task on her list was to go to the ministry. Ever since Helena had taken sick, Hermione had been off work. She hoped that her Department would still be interested in having her around, even if it was at a lower ranked position than she had previously held. Sure enough things were beginning to look up for the depleted witch. While they did not outright give her the job that she had been reaching for before she left they gave her back her old position back. Much to the displeasure of some who could be heard grumbling that they should have stopped You Know Who and maybe they could get that pay raise after disappearing for years. While Hermione's position was the same as her old one, the Department Head had slyly mentioned that the Senior Assistant to the Department should be sleeping less soundly at night now that she was back. This gave Hermione a little boost of pleasure. Apparently she was still good for something.

As Hermione's first week back to work flew past her and the pile of files on her desk grew exponentially the displeasure felt by her co-workers was becoming more and more evident. Some where mad that she as not observing the typical mourning period a mother should partake in after the loss of a child, while others were upset that she had come back period. Even still there was one person Hermione had overheard that was angered that she had gone to Brazil travelling for all those years and then returned without any gifts for the Department. What rock he was living under nobody was quite sure or how he had received the position he held in such an elite Department. Whatever the case, Hermione didn't let what other's thought of her bother her. With nothing left to do in her life she threw herself back into her work and set forth the goal of rising to the top faster than anybody, man or woman had ever done.

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While on the outside she breathed an aura of calm and composure, Hermione's insides were screaming. Daytime was fine. There was just something about the brightness of day that pushed everything that was wrong with her life into the back corner of her mind. Only when light shown in through her open blinds could she reason that everything happened for a reason. When darkness fell though it was a whole other story. Nightmares plagues her sleep, leaving her exhausted come morning. Tunnels and dark, deserted streets where she was running for her life. Trying to find that safe haven that never appeared. It became so bad that one night, slightly past midnight when she'd woken up to her own screaming for the third time in under two hours did she adorn her cloak and apparate to St. Mungo's. There the kind Healer had given her a potion to aid with her sleep.

The Healer had explained to her that although her conscience brain was getting over the trauma that had occurred, she wasn't truly over it. A fact that Hermione could have stated herself quite easily. She would never be able to get over her daughters passing. Only time would make the wounds less deep, but the scars would always be there. Ready to be torn open once more if something came to close.

With the potion in hand Hermione left the hospital. For the next several weeks she went about her daily routine. Work, Harry and Ron and sleep. The latter made so much more peaceful by the aid of that special potion. She began to rely on its magical properties and as the days passed she understood how somebody could become addicted to such a thing. She feared she already was but that was the least of her worries at the moment.

Sitting on one of her bar stools one night, with an open file in front of her she sipped a glass of wine. Not many days before she had stumbled over the bottle that she had thrown under the sink after her careless couple of drinks when she had learned about Draco and Ginny. It had of course gone bad, being opened but behind it she had unearthed an uncorked bottle.

Out of habit after ever page she read she moved to stand up. It had become her routine back in Vancouver to read a page and then go and check on Helena. You never knew what a young girl could get into. It was a hard habit to break. Just as making spaghetti without anything in it had been. The first day she had cooked herself the delicious pasta she had sat down with her plate before realizing that all she had before her was plain sauce. No longer was their a little voice complaining that there was green things in her sauce. Or that things went crunch or were chewy. All those little things that had been hard to adapt to as a new mother were even harder to loose.

Half way through the file she reached for the bottle and poured herself another glass. Topping it up almost to the rim. She was lonely. Harry and Ron were both at work. Harry too having been hired back right on the spot simply for being who he was. Startled out of her thoughts by a knock on the door, she got up and brushed herself off. Who would be stopping by? Her parents? Or had Ron and Harry decided to stop by on their way home? She wasn't close to anyone else, none of the neighbours paid any attention to her and so she didn't feel self conscience answering the door in her shorts and a tank.

When the door swung open she realized half a second to late that she had made a mistake. She should have looked through the peep hole first.

"We need to talk," his cool voice said.

"I have nothing to say to you," she replied almost as cooly. She had been doing so well up until that point. Why did he always need to butt in when she finally felt like she could make a go at life again.

"Well, then let me talk," he stepped into the doorway. Making it impossible for her to close the door without using a great deal of force to push his bulk clear of the jam, "I'd like my ring back if you wouldn't mind getting it for me."

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a/n Every time over the past four years when I've said life's been crazy, well it didn't even begin to describe what my last six months have been like. Because it was my Birthday yesterday I decided to give myself a wonderful present and reintroduce myself back into the world of fanfiction. I reread a couple of my favourite stories I had written and was absolutely appalled at this story. I can't believe how horrible I was writing it. I was so upset reading parts of this story, but as a result I knew how I had to end it. Something that I couldn't figure out the entire time I had been writing this. Alas I am guaranteeing I am going to finish this story. I couldn't leave it hanging after rereading it. And so my Birthday present to myself is allotting time to complete this story. I don't know how many of you that originally started reading this are still reading but if you are I thank you so much. If not, thank you for stumbling across this story and taking your time to read it. Please review although I know I don't deserve it, although it would be very nice. Cheers.


	20. Back to the Beginning

"Okay, I think that's it. Thank you all for coming."

Chairs scrapped back, as their occupants stood preparing to leave the stuffy conference room. They had been in there for hours and for Quidditch Player's sitting in a meeting even for ten minutes was to long.

On one side of the table sat the well dressed members of Malfoy Co. while the other side sat the seven members of the Holyhead Harpies along with several of their management. The team really didn't know why they had been summoned to this dreadful meeting by their higher ups, but like any good employee does, they came without asking any questions.

Ginny, the Seeker and Captain of the Harpies had fielded many questions the night before in the dressing room. Everyone knew that she was best friends with Hermione Granger soon to be Malfoy and putting two and two together they assumed she knew what it was that Malfoy Co. did. That was not the case. Ginny didn't have even the slightest idea what Hermione's fiancé did and she was pretty sure Hermione didn't fully understand either. Whether the latter was a sign that his company was far to complex for civilians to understand or it just meant that Hermione and Malfoy's relationship that stemmed from the motto 'No communication is necessary,' was being showcased in all its glory, Ginny did not know. Whatever he was doing though was working, because his net worth had recently flown through the roof. Leaving him not one of the richest people in England, but all of Europe.

The team, dressed in their dark green warm up gear made a break for the door. With their Captain right in the middle of the clump. She didn't make it though into the safety of the corridor.

"Ginny," the Manager of the team called out to her.

"Yes,?" she turned around while trying to hide her discomfort. She really needed to get out of this confined space before she did something she'd really regret. Her heart rate began to accelerate when she realized the reason behind her getting called back in. Somewhere in the midst of everyone scrambling to vacate the room, a photographer had pushed his way in.

"Just a quick picture, this is a monumental deal after all," Ginny's boss tried to sound normal but was having a difficult time. She was pretty sure as soon as he was in a private room he was going to start dancing and jumping all around.

Much to Ginny's distaste she realized what her Manager was implying a second to late.

"Good afternoon Ginny," he stepped up to her and held out his hand.

"Malfoy," she muttered.

"Very good, keep that position. You have that right?" the stout manager bellowed to the photographer who was snapping pictures at a rapid rate, "very good, now smile. You're happy."

"Ginny, if you wouldn't mind could I steal a couple seconds of your time," Malfoy enquired.

"Of course, of course, go," her boss answered for her. Being no longer able to contain his excitement he was almost frothing at the mouth as he shooed the two out the door.

"I just have a question for you. I've been puzzling over this decision for days and I really want Hermione to like it so I thought..." he never finished his sentence though because Ginny stopped suddenly.

"You do realize that Hermione's not wearing your ring anymore as of this morning, right?"

He shrugged, "I've heard it through the grapevine, but whatever. It won't last long. What did I do this time?"

Slipping back several hours Ginny thought of Hermione knocking on her door. There had been no tears, no mournful fear of having done the wrong thing. All of this still surprised Ginny who became an emotional wreck if anything in her love life went of kilter. Currently she was fighting to keep control over a situation that was ready to boil over.

The two good friends had sat down to tea and discussed over delicate biscuits the reason for Hermione's bare finger. Ginny had nodded at all the right points and gasped when it was required of her, but never did she actually listen to the real reason the wedding of the decade was off, again for the fifth time. Or was it the tenth? She had stopped keeping track along time ago. First it was the affair which she had frowned upon from day one, simply out of precedent. He was married after all but Hermione wouldn't take no for an answer. That's where all of Hermione's tears had been used up. She had sobbed probably twice a week on Ginny's shoulder, while Ginny rocked her and comforted her. Telling her that he was a stupid man. All the while holding firm yet silent to the belief that if she hadn't put herself in harms way none of this would have happened.

Then came the joyful news that Hermione had been pleading for for years. The divorce had been finalized. The next months were a whirlwind. It became rare for Hermione to show up on Ginny's doorstep late at night as everything was going superbly. It was the eye of the storm though. It couldn't last forever. The only question was, when would the pot ultimately boil over? It didn't take long.

By now Ginny was tired. Tired of hearing her friend moan and complain over a situation she had put herself in. Pretty soon though the reality became apparent that Malfoy and Hermione could do anything, no matter how insulting or outrageous and the wedding would always end up back on. It became their guarantee. Written in small print, somewhere on the bottom of their imaginary contract. It didn't matter what anybody screamed or did, eventually they came back together and made a show of loving each other even more. It had grown to make Ginny sick. She loved her best friend, but that man had stolen one thing from Hermione, her integrity. Gone was the self proclaimed feminist who would not take being walked all over, but that was what he was doing to her. It became harder and harder for Ginny to look her friend in the eye, when all she wanted to say was, "You've made your bed, now sleep in it."

Pulling herself back to the present Ginny said, "Aren't you feeling a bit too comfortable here? What if this is the one time she doesn't come back?"

"What, do you know something that I don't?" he enquired, but she could tell his heart really wasn't into it. There was no question she would come back once again. He knew it, Ginny knew it and Hermione knew it.

"Just that she loves you way to much and it's driving me nuts."

This resulted in a raised eyebrow from him. Man, he did that so well. It made her knees shake.

"So," she tried desperately to change the subject, "I sat in that meeting for hours and I've yet to figure out what it is Malfoy Co. does."

He chuckled before taking the time to answer, "You know, Hermione gave up asking that question a long time ago. And no offence or anything, but if she doesn't understand it I don't think anybody will."

Slightly put out by his reply she tried again, "Okay, if I can't enquire what the entire company does, could I ask what the deal was the team and you just signed?"

"I guess so. In short it's a deal that revolves around improving spectator comfort and attendance at games, PR stuff."

Before she could reply they had somehow made it to his office. Ginny didn't know how her legs had done it, but when she saw the engraved name plate on his door she instantly stalled. This was definitely not a good idea. They would go in there, he would close the door and a lot could happen behind a closed door. No, she better not do that. Wait outside, get him to bring out whatever it was he wanted to show her. It didn't really matter though. If Hermione and him were even on speaking terms when he gave it to her she would love it, because if she even gave him the benefit of a single word, she was no longer mad. It didn't matter what is was he was giving her.

"Come in, it's just in my drawer."

She didn't know what propelled her in through that doorway. Maybe it was all those sleepless nights, or all the anger she felt towards her best friend who had gone and let a man control her life. Whatever the case, all her feelings of guilt were quickly washed away when she stepped into his spacious office. The energy in the room was electric. Something had changed.

With a sharp click the door closed behind them. He was already over by his desk, reaching into one of the lower drawers. She never would figure out what he had been reaching for, as she threw her jacket down on the nearest chair and walked over to him and pushed him back up against the desk.

No longer was she letting her friend walk all over her. It had been to long. She controlled the cards now, and it felt damn good.

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a/n Okay so this was take two of this chapter. I wrote it and then went to bed. As I was falling asleep I realized I hated what I'd written and it did nothing for the story so when I woke up I started from scratch again and wrote this. With a little bit of tweaking I think I have the feeling I was going for. Finally! Please review and tell me what you think. Cheers!


	21. Never Far Away

recap (because it's been so long-sorry): Hermione has gone back to work after Helena's funeral but she is still haunted by all the routines she had fallen into with a child under her feet that are now just memories. Part way through a large glass of wine and some files a knock occurs at her door.

xxx

"Well, then let me talk," he stepped into the doorway. Making it impossible for her to close the door without using a great deal of force to push his bulk clear of the jam, "I'd like my ring back if you wouldn't mind getting it for me."

Hermione didn't even flinch. He didn't know what he had expected her to do, but that wasn't it. Start screaming, run, pull out her wand, he didn't know but it definitely wasn't normal. What he didn't know was that Hermione had been expecting this confrontation. She'd also been planning for it since she'd torn the jewels off of her left hand for the last time. It still amazed her that it had taken this long for him to come knocking.

Malfoy was startled, he had assumed she'd get worked up and then do something stupid. Apparently she wasn't as stupid as he had thought. Or should he say hoped. After all if there had every been anybody that could have given him a run for his money it was Hermione, and it appeared she was going to do so yet again.

With one hand on her hip, which he noticed were looking rather boney from what used to be a beautifully curvy figure, she glared at him but did not back up, "I think it's best you leave," she replied with little emotion to her words. She stepped towards him in an attempt to push him back out the way he had come. Her attempt proved unsuccessful as he retaliated and matched her with a step forward. Now they stood inches from each other. She could feel his hot breath rippling through her hair, and she prayed that he could not hear her heart racing.

Steady breaths, she knew was what she had to do. Keep herself calm. She had gone over this moment she didn't know how many times. Playing out how she wanted the situation to play out, and how she didn't want it to. All of the positive outcomes ended with her keeping her cool. She knew Malfoy, she knew him better than his own Mother did. They had played each other for years. Somehow he'd managed to win, but not this time. This time was her time. She pulled out her toolbox of knowledge and played him like he had done to her oh so many times.

Turning away she walked back to her paperwork, fighting an overwhelming urge to turn around and see the shocked and infuriated look that she knew for certain would be etched across his face. For this first time in a long time she felt a smile appear on her lips. It quickly vanished though after her mind had the processing time to tell her why she was in this situation in the first place.

Climbing back up onto the bar stool she sipped at her full glass of wine. It tasted bitter, so unlike it had only moments before, but she took another sip just to prove that she was not upset by his sudden appearance.

"Come in, sit down," she called out without looking back. She knew he would still be there. Trying with all his might to re evaluate his next moves, "would you like a glass of wine?" Without waiting for an answer she muttered, "accio wineglass," and the crystal goblet came soaring towards her. She poured the bottle the muggle way, one hand holding the glass, the other maneuvering the bottle. Which to her dismay she noticed was almost empty. What a waste to have to give it to Draco. She hoped that her old self had been smart enough to stash an emergency supply of liquor somewhere else, but at the moment she didn't know where that special place happened to be.

With her wand she sent the glass flying towards Malfoy. Luckily he still had quick reflexes from his Quidditch days as she pulled the spell off of the glass just slightly out of his reach.

"Oh I'm sorry," she chuckled, "maybe I've had a bit too much, if you know what I mean," she hadn't. Somehow in the last few days her alcohol consumption had increased, and with it her ability to hold her liquor. An empty bottle to Draco would imply that she was hammered, and when he had truly known her that was the truth. Now, that was just the beginning of her nightly ritual. Without it she had not hope of catching even a moment of restless sleep. Probably not the smartest of ideas when you considered the sleeping aids she had been given, but she'd deal with that later.

"Come sit down, don't leave me drinking alone."

Again he made no real move to sit down beside her. Instead he stepped over and stood with his hands resting on the back of her chair. His next words sent a shiver down her spine, as his breath danced across her bare neck, "my ring?"

Turning every so slightly in her chair she replied, "I don't have it."

His face went instantly red, as blood flowed quickly underneath the skin. She could hear him take two short quick breaths before he said anything. "Of course you do. I don't, it hasn't been pawned off, I would have known about it. Every place in Britain knows to contact me if they every come across is. The only logical conclusion then is you still have it."

"You've obviously forgotten then that for the last five years I haven't been in Britain."

Bingo, she had him there. Panic now erased the anger of her previous remark. He tried another angle, "You wouldn't have sold it though."

"And why is that?"

"You don't need the money."

"And neither do you if we're going to get into our financial situations. But really, I've been keeping up two expensive flats, not working since Helena fell sick and on top of that having a child costs a lot of money. Not that you would know or anything. Consider it your contribution to your daughter."

"Hermione, where is the god damn ring. I am going to tear apart this entire place unless I get it back. I know you have it, the way you fell back into my arms you always knew you'd come back. We could never be apart forever. This time it was just longer than usual. All those ifs come into your mind and you'll regret it if we don't take another shot. I know you love me. I know you too well, and I also know you never let that ring far out of you sight. Even when you swore you would never wear it again, it was always in your pocket."

"I'm sorry, this time you're wrong."

He turned and pulled out his wand and started shouting spells. Books flew off the shelves, cupboards opened, but no ring appeared. Dejected he finally took the stool that Hermione had offered to him before. After a long swig of the wine that he had saved from spilling earlier he muttered, "then where is it?"

"Not here, but somewhere safe I promise. Can I ask who you were planning on giving it to this time?"

No answer came right away. The seconds ticketed by on the clock that was mounted above the sink. Black hands against a white background, made a complete revolution, counting out the seconds before he finally answered, "you."

With a horrible scrapping sound she pushed the stool back and leapt to her feet. He instinctively reached for his wand, but when he saw that was not what she had intended he let his hand fall. Back down to his side where it hung lifelessly. Shoulders hunched, he looked like he had aged a decade since he had appeared in the hospital ward. She didn't even want to think about the age her features screamed now. It was all too much for her.

"I thought we could take it slow, something neither of us are really familiar with. We'd do it properly this time. Drinks, dinners out, then maybe dinners in. See how that works out. After a nice healthy stretch of time I'd take you somewhere romantic, on vacation as we're both walking on the beach. I'd get down on one knee and ask you if you'd make me the happiest person alive by accepting my ring. You'd squeal and exclaim how beautiful the ring was and then a year later we'd promise in front of hundreds to love and cherish as long as we both shall live. And then..."

She held up her hand to stop him, because that was where this fairy tale story had to end. What came next after marriage was a honeymoon and then 9 months later a baby, and no amount of alcohol could make her forget how carelessly he had exclaimed that they could just make a replacement for Helena.

"What's wrong with that?" he pleaded.

"Just that you and I both know that is not how we work," at the mention of we she swirled her hands in circular motions in front of her.

His tale had been genuine, it was apparent by the look of sadness that now covered his face. So many emotions, in so little time. She couldn't do it though. As much as she wanted to she just couldn't. Her integrity had been trampled by him for far to long. Not this time though. For once she was going to stand her ground, stay firm and not waiver. It was a daunting task, one she didn't know how she was going to manage but it was her only option. People had already begun to whisper about how they thought she had more strength than that. It was a kin to returning home every night to a man that attacked you. Only in this case it was not a physical blow, even though sometimes a curse would have stung less. She couldn't live without him it felt like at that moment in time, but somewhere deep within her brain she knew she'd be alright. Canada had been okay, she had survived that and she'd get through this.

"I can't give it back to you for that purpose," she whispered, "there has been too much, too much history, too much disappointment. I can't do it again. You're right I love you. It's stupid, childish and degrading but I still love you regardless of everything you've done. I'm the fool, but I need to make things right. I need to be able to sleep at night and I know I can't do that with you lying beside me. We would make an awesome team, there is no denying it so I won't even try, but that doesn't stop me from doing what I know to be the right thing."

Nothing, now words, no spells, no tears, nothing. He nodded.

"You should probably go now," she whispered, not trusting her voice much more.

He knew it was the end and he didn't protest. Before he could turn to make his way towards the door she reached out and grasped his arm and pulled him towards her. With all the passion they had once shared she kissed him. Long and hard. She pulled away abruptly and drew her hand to her mouth. He knew he had to leave. Just before the door clicked behind him she called, "I'll always love you, I just can't be with you."

Her final glimpse of him was of him saying, "You're my one and only Hermione."

Before the door had fully settled back into its frame she was in a heap, sobbing once more. Where the tears came from still she had no idea. A strong pair of arms pulled her up onto the sofa and held her. Rocking her as she let it all out.

"He's gone, don't worry," the voice drifted from afar.

"Thanks Harry, don't ever leave me," she whispered as she clasped her hand around the cold stone in her pocket. It never left her, he was right, but why he never checked her pocket she would never know.

xxx

a/n so I wanted to write maybe two or three more chapters but things flowed and ended nicely in this chapter and that is so unlike me so I'm not going to push it and draw things out. There will be an epilogue though which is already in the works so you can expect that shortly. I must tell you though that this has to be the most contemplated and changed ending of any story. Twice I have had to vanish from fanfic and both times just slightly before I had straightened out how I was going to end this. Being as smart as I am, I never wrote that down. Resulting in me coming back and going, now how was that supposed to end? So this is it take three, I wish I remembered how take 1 and 2 were planned to end. Please review. Thank you.


	22. Stranger

Shoes off, legs curled up beneath her body, she was neatly tucked away in her office chair with a steaming mug of cocoa clasped between her hands. The steam floated up from the colourful mug, the mug that Helena had painted one day at Annie's place. She sighed aloud, savouring the memories because they were all she had anymore. Giggling, her little girl had come home accompanied by her sitter for the day covered from head to toe in paint. Annie had shrugged when she saw Hermione's shocked reaction which quickly morphed into a look of amusement, but never had she apologized for the disaster that had just entered her living room.

The rich liquid slid easily down Hermione's throat as she slowly sipped away. Not much work was getting accomplished, but she'd deal with that later. The odds were good that she'd need something to distract her when she returned home long after dark. Since Draco's appearance in her flat a couple of days before she had begun to realize that work had become her safe haven and not in the way one would expect. The Ministry was a place where she could sit, read a book or eat her lunch all without fighting the feeling that she was going to breakdown. While at home that threat was ever present, because at home, no one was there to see her fall apart allowing her brain to think it was okay to do so. At work that behaviour wasn't accepted.

Maybe some music would be the answer, she mused as she pulled out her wand and sent a nicely aimed charm at the player that was tucked away in the corner of her office. Gentle lyrics began to fill the room, enveloping her as the waves escaped the horn. Hermione's serenity didn't last long though as a knock sounded on her door. Hastily she flung a quick silencing spell at the device in the corner, put down her mug and uncurled her legs, all in one fluid motion. While she was okay with doing her work later, her superiors may not be.

"Yes," she called out.

The door eased itself open and her assistant walked in, closely followed by a gentleman dressed up in his work day finest. He was a man Hermione recognized but couldn't place. She knew it had been years since she had seen him last at a Ministry function, or a war memorial, or one of the Malfoy's extravaganzas maybe. There was so many people she'd been introduced to over the last decade and a half that she really only remembered those that played or had the potential to play a direct role in her life.

The man stuck out his hand, forcing Hermione to rise to her feet to shake it.

"May I sit down?" he enquired, motioning to the empty chair that sat facing her desk.

"By all means," Hermione blushed, most people didn't spend much time in her office and so she had never even considered offering him a place to rest. Her eyes quickly jumped over to the doorway, hoping to extract some answers from her assistant about her new guest, but to her dismay she was already gone.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you at work Ms. Granger," the man began. "but what I must tell you is essential that you hear first from me and not from some little gossip on the street."

Hermione leaned forward in her seat and placed her elbows on the edge of the desktop. All the while her feet were frantically searching for her shoes incase she had to suddenly stand up and walk the stranger to the door. His last sentence had caught her attention though. Who was he, and what information did he have for her? Her heart rate accelerated when her brain came to the quick conclusion that he definitely didn't work for the ministry, he was too well dressed for that position. The war though, she began to shake at the mere thought. Had something come up that she, Harry and Ron had thought they had laid to rest a long time ago? The way he had opened sure implied something of the sort.

"Continue," she said curtly and he did.

"I won't drag this out any longer than this, so I'll come straight out with it."

But he still failed to elaborate much more than that making her more nervous by the second.

"Allow me to reintroduce myself as I fear time has erased me from your memory. My name is Circinus Redachow and I am Senior Advisor to Draco Malfoy."

That was all she needed for her mind to be sent spiralling back many years. She had met Redachow only once and it had been a very brief encounter. Draco had left her waiting in the atrium of Malfoy Co. as he ran up to his office to retrieve a forgotten necessity. He had come back accompanied by a tall, broad shouldered man who he was talking to in hushed tones. Their conversation had quickly been cut short when they got within earshot of her but that hadn't fazed her at the time. An introduction of names but no titles followed shortly after, but then he disapparated without much more of a sound.

Thrust back into the present, Hermione nodded her recognition of him, but she tried to hide her surprise at the position he held. She had thought all those years before that he was simply one of Draco's security buffoons.

"I'm here to inform you that until further notice you are the Head Executive of Malfoy Co."

"I'm sorry," she stuttered, "it's been a long day, could you repeat that?"

"No, you heard me correctly. Until the whereabouts of Draco Malfoy can be determined, his company has been instructed to be placed in your hands. Hands which he told me will be very capable of overseeing the day to day operation of the oldest company in Britain."

"I'm sorry," she sounded like a broken record now, "but where is Malfoy?" there was no way he had just skipped out on work to go lie on a beach somewhere. Not with his complexion at least, never mind his work ethic.

"As I said, Draco Malfoy's whereabouts are unknown at this point in time. All we know is that he has been missing for a little over two days."

That placed his disappearance right around when he came to her flat. Her stomach did a flip. What was going on?

"As per his carefully outlined instructions, if anything should happen to him you were to be tracked down and informed of your duties."

"My duties? I think you've misunderstood something. Malfoy never told me a single thing about what his company did. I could count the number of times I stepped foot in Malfoy Co. on my one hand, so forgive me if I say I don't believe I'm qualified to except your offer. Besides for five year or more we've hated each others guts. There is no way that he would ever willingly give his company to me."

"It's not an offer Ms. Granger. This job has been bestowed to you, and you alone. Obviously Mr Malfoy believed you to be completely competent as I have seen him give many highly skilled people the boot, just because they held their wand wrong or something else of that sort."

"Then he must have written those instructions a long time ago, when times were still good."

"On the contrary, he appeared in my office just last week to inform me that the status quo was to remain when dealing with executive transitions," whatever that was supposed to mean, "it almost appears now that he knew this was going to happen, like he had planned it."

She didn't know why but five minutes later she found herself accompanying Redachow halfway across England to the Headquarters of Malfoy Co. He had explained to her, as the walked down a deserted corridor of a building Hermione apparently now ran, that Malfoy had left a sort of last will and testaments that was to be executed if he should be unfit to operate as Head for reasons of illness or disappearance.

The companies security team had been chasing down every lead, trying to track down their boss for the last two days, but to no avail. They would continue their searches though until they were successful. Draco Malfoy had to be located. Dead or alive.

The pair stopped walking at the end of the hallway. Hermione recognized where they were. She had been there years ago. Glancing over at the now empty desk she remembered all to vividly how she had marched in and manipulated the poor young girl that had sat there into letting her break into the big wigs office. She wondered if that poor girl still had a job to come to after that incident.

"His office is right across the foyer there," Redachow motioned with his hand, "I won't accompany you in. Don't worry about the wards. They are set up to allow you to enter without a problem," he turned to leave but Hermione quickly grabbed onto his sleeve. Latching on with all her strength she spun him back around.

"You can't just leave me. I wouldn't have a clue what I was to do, even if I wanted to do it. Besides you haven't really explained to me what is going on."

"Listen, we have to assume Mr. Malfoy is not returning, that he has perished. You have now inherited Malfoy Co. until we can track him down. He knew one day this time would come. You'll find all your answers in his office. He was a well prepared man."

With those last words he disapparated. Hermione groaned. That man only seemed to talk in riddles. Every sentence he said seemed like babbling to her. She was just about to turn and leave, go back to the Ministry and resume her job that she actually liked, but something stopped her. Answers. Redachow had promised her answers in Draco's office. That had been what had drawn her to break into his office before and this time she was not immune to their draw either.

Carefully she followed that pull across the plush carpet that absorbed any sound of her steps. He had been right, the office did admit her without a problem. What startled her though was that the name plate on the door read her name in bold type.

_Hermione J. Granger_

_Head Executive of Malfoy Co._

It was the second part though that sent chills shooting up and down her spine. The door didn't make a sound as she pushed it open. Answers. That was what had driven her for so long. She would find them and then be gone, regardless of what the nameplate read she promised herself. This was not a place for her. She felt like a polar bear in the desert in a place like this. It had always been Draco's comfort zone and not hers. She hated the executive life he had dragged her into, but at least she could sometimes escape it, if only momentarily. Now it appeared as if that was no longer the case. The worst part about it was that she felt like he had been priming her for this position. But why?

In the back of her mind though something kept tugging. Two days, he'd been gone for two days. Missing was the better word. The way Redachow talked it seemed as if they were jumping full swing into the plan Draco had erected if he were to die. Had he? What had he done to himself? Could he have been depressed enough to harm himself? Was she that desperate herself? The scary part was that she couldn't help but nod yes to all of the above.

Now she needed those answers. Her guilt needed to be erased. Why did she feel guilty in the first place? But the answer to that was easy. She was most likely the last one who had seen him. Had he come to say his final good bye?

xxx

a/n so as you can see this is not the epilogue I had promised. I started writing and realized I needed to set a few more things straight and they would take more than an epilogue so here is this chapter. Merry Christmas and the greatest gift I could ask for would be reviews. So please take a couple of seconds and review. Thank you and have a great holiday.


	23. Epilogue: Two Decades Later

There's no happy ending, not when you've gone through as much in life as she had. Oftentimes it can be said that if things aren't working out, if people aren't happy then it isn't the end. You can't say that to somebody who has lost their entire life. Lived everyday waiting for the moment they will take their last breath. Just to be reunited with what was once held so easily within their grasp.

xxx

She paced back and forth in her office, slowly. One hand on the wall for support, the other braced to catch herself if she were to fall. She was weak, very weak and had been for some time. The end was near she knew and pretty soon she would be swept away from this world. She wasn't scared though for she had much to anticipate in death. The main thing being she would no longer be alone.

Completely exhausted she rested herself down on her desktop for a brief moment. Realizing it may take more than only a moment, she shuffled around to her more comfortable chair. Placing her head back she let her eyes slip closed, but not before she caught a glimpse of the view beyond her windows. She'd worked in this office for nearly two decades. It had taken nearly a quarter of that time for the company to formally become her own.

The security detail at Malfoy Co. had searched relentlessly for their boss. Ultimately though they came up empty handed. Draco Malfoy had been pronounced dead a little over four years after his disappearance. During that time Hermione Granger had taken over and learned the ropes of the company. She had steered them through tough times and gave up her position of the Ministry of Magic to do so.

After Malfoy's death was proved, his will was opened. To Hermione's utmost shock he had left everything, not just the company but his personal wealth, to her. Most single women would have been ecstatic to learn that overnight they had become one of the wealthiest people in the world, but for Hermione the bitterness disguised the sweetness. It had only been released to those select few people in the know that Draco Malfoy had in fact committed suicide. The guilt that Hermione felt would never leave her from the day she was informed of that information, until the day she would die. It didn't help that deep down, the rational side of her brain kept screaming at her that she was not to blame for his decisions. The guilt was overwhelming nevertheless. Guilt was a powerful tool.

That revelation had been the straw that broke the hippogriffs back. The sleeping potions and alcohol that she had sworn she would give up went from not only being a nightly tradition, but one that interrupted lunch hours and morning coffees.

Her skin which had once held a youthful lustre even as she progressed into her thirties was now long gone. Having been replaced by a hardened exterior that showed the stress and abuse of her life. Her hair had been next. It had begun falling out in clumps not long after her fingernails became ridged and brittle. She was not a well person and her body showed it, but never did she try to reverse the damages. Instead she embraced them. She had simply given up.

To say her life had been successful would have been an understatement. Before she had left the Ministry she had been offered the position of Senior Advisor which she had accepted. It had always been her dream promotion and thus she felt she had to take it. She did the job for a little over a month before handing in her resignation. She had achieved her dream, at least she was able to say that about one thing.

At Malfoy Co. she had been a whirlwind. Managing to do things with the company that so many generations of Malfoy would never have even attempted. Although the Malfoy name had been tarnished during the past century, they had once been a great family. Hermione vowed to return that respect to the Malfoy name, even though there was no remaining line. To say she had succeeded wouldn't begin to describe what she had done. Single handily she, a muggle born witch had restored the honour to a now dead family that had always relied on the males of the family for success in business.

Probably the hardest thing for Hermione to swallow about Draco's suicide was how desperate he must have been. To die without leaving an heir was even beyond Hermione's ability to comprehend. She thought she knew the Malfoy family, and they cherished their heritage and their future like no other family that had ever existed. Except for maybe the Blacks. For Draco to disregard the fact that his death would end one of the greatest lines to every exist in the Wizarding World proved that he was a very heartbroken man. Hermione guilt about that also plagued her. She had played a part in ending that line and she had also played a part in trying to produce it. That thought would then bring her full circle and she'd become depressed once more about her daughters death. Although that depression never really left her.

Hermione's career success had astounded the public. Primarily those that didn't know her couldn't help but commend her actions of dealing with what life had thrown at her. It was only those closer to her that knew better. Her parents and close co workers feared she would commit suicide as well to end all of her pain, but every day she surprised them all and stood to walk another day. For Harry and Ron though they knew that Hermione would not just choose to end it one day. She had already made that decision a long time before and set it into motion then. No, she would not string up a rope, or leap into the raging sea, but she was killing herself. Day by day she would drink herself into a restless slumber and each time Ron and Harry were there to pick up the pieces. She was dying a little bit more every day in front of their eyes.

What Hermione was doing was inflicting pain on herself. She was dragging out the inevitable and she was succeeding. She had stopped taking care of herself and as a result she fell apart. Behind closed doors she was a mess. Only inches away from leaving a world that had been all to unkind to her. She was counting down the days.

A part of her knew that she should feel awful for doing this to Ron and Harry but she too was a desperate person. The depression hurt too much now for her to be able to overcome it. She had lost her will to fight. One day they too would meet again.

Her eyes were heavy as she slouched down deeper into her chair. No longer could she feel her limbs, she felt like she was floating away. Was this it? Would she finally get to see them again?

She cracked her eyes open and prayed that she didn't see her office walls. The office walls that Draco had looked at, his father before him and his father before that. She had revolutionized the way Malfoy Co. and all other wizarding businesses were to be run from that point on. She had opened the door for women to emerge as the new leaders.

The snow was floating down. Huge snow drifts framed the pathway that she was standing on. All her pain was gone. It felt as if she had been transported back to her youth when she was invincible. It was truly magical.

Off in the distance she could make out the bobbing heads of a crowd of people. She willed her feet to move and she set off towards them. As she neared the figures, they began to come into focus. The were standing in a formation and they appeared to be waiting for her. At the forefront were two distinct figures. Their hair told the whole story.

She broke into a run. Those curls, those beautiful white ringlets that had pained her so much to see disappear were once again before her.

"Momma!"

No words could escape her lips, but the tears made up for it. She fell to her knees and scooped up the little girl that she hadn't held in over two decades. Suddenly she felt a pair of strong arms envelope her. They were all together. This was how it was supposed to be. Surrounded by family and friends that she hadn't seen in years she had been reunited. Nothing could go wrong now. She was safe. This was where she was meant to be.

In her pocket she felt the weight of the stone encrusted ring. It never left her.

"I've been waiting for you."

xxx

a/n Well I did have to fight back tears momentarily there. I hope that you did too, and I hoped that you enjoyed this story. I can't believe I've finally finished it. This has been a long time in the making and I am so happy with it. Please, please review and give me your final thoughts, and I hope to hear from you again on some of my future stories. Thank you to all my readers. Cheers.


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